CRASH ➳ jhs ✓

twenty four.

days passed since our talk outside the restaurant. we haven't spoken since, or even looked at each other. you stopped driving with me to school and started using the bus. you fooled mom by leaving at the same time I did, but you would instantly alter towards the direction of the bus stop. it hurt a lot to see you walk away, the empty passenger seat you once sat in made me feel strange.

prom was already here, and to my surprise, you agreed to going with jimin. he couldn't believe it either, no matter how many times you told him you genuinely meant it. i was standing in my bedroom, folding the black tie onto my collar. it took me about seven tries to get this thing on. i finally got it right, tightening it close to my neckline. i smoothed out the sleeves of my suit, bending down to tie the laces on my dress shoes. i stood up, staring once again at my reflection in the mirror. i reached over to my counter, grabbing the corsage i bought for saerin. i stared at the red flower, analyzing every curl of each petal.

your words really hit me deep, i'd be lying if i said it didn't open my eyes. i started to think more about the things i do and the things i've done in the past. It made me realize so many things, so many things that i could have said before. i couldn't say them now, because after all that happened, you would never listen to me. and there was nothing i could do about that

"hoseok! come down here for a minute!" mom called from downstairs, snapping me out of my thoughts.

i grabbed my things, shutting the door behind me. i walked down the hallway, passing your bedroom. i took the chance to peek into your half-closed door, frowning when i didn't see you in the room. i shrugged it off, walking towards the stairs. i trudged down the stairs, glancing up at my mom who stood by the front door.

"oh my, hoseok, you look so handsome!" mom gushed, running up to me with proud eyes.

i barely acknowledged mom, mumbling a small thanks to her as a response. my attention was solely focused on you, who was standing beside mom. you wore a black, satin prom dress, your matching black heels peeking out of the bottom of the dress. the dress had a deep v-neckline with a cinched waistline. it complimented your figure and outlined all of your curves. your hair was in loose curls, framing the sides of your face.

"let me get a photo of you two before you leave," mom spoke, running into the living room to get the camera. she ran back in, signalling us to get close.

i stood beside you, our shoulders grazing. the tension between us was heavy, you didn't want to be this close to me. you cut the tension by snaking your arm around my back, leaning close as you smiled for the camera. i glanced down at you before wrapping my arm around you, looking up at the camera. mom pressed her eye against the camera, snapping a photo of the two of us. she peeled the camera away from her face, which was a sign for you to let go of me. i stepped away once i noticed you did, holding back a frown at how quickly you pushed yourself away.

the doorbell rang, causing you to turn around and open it. in the doorway was jimin, his blonde hair slicked back as he widened his eyes at the sight of you. you shifted under his gaze, "what is it?"

"nothing, it's just- you look incredible," he complimented, causing a weak smile to form on your lips.

"thank you jimin."

you opened the door wider, allowing him to enter. jimin and i still talked here and there, but things were still a bit awkward because of the fight between him and yoongi. he turned to look at me, smiling at me. i smiled back, the worry in my body dispersing. mom gasped, "look at you two together, you two look adorable. i need a photo of this."

jimin chuckled at her words whilst you released a disappointed sigh. jimin casually took the corsage out of his pocket, slipping it into your wrist. you peered up at him, noticing the gentle smile on his lips. you two faced the camera, posing in the same position you and i were in. mom then requested another one, this time, jimin had his arms wrapped around you from behind, your hands on top of his arms. you two separated once mom was done taking photos.

"i think we should get going," jimin said, glancing at you before turning to mom.

mom nodded, "that's right, have fun you two!"

the two of them bid goodbye to mom, walking out of the house and towards jimin's car. i was standing towards the side, hands stuffed in my pockets as i watched you two. i could've left after we took our photo, but something in me didn't want to leave so soon.

mom turned to me, "you better get going too, don't want to keep saerin waiting."

"yeah, thanks, mom," i chuckled, engulfing her into a hug before making my way towards the door.

"wait, hoseok!" i turned around hearing my mom's voice. "you're father and i are going out to dinner tonight, so we won't be home until later."

i nodded, opening the front door. i closed it behind me, walking towards my car. i sat in the driver's seat, starting it up before slowly driving out of the driveway, setting my destination towards saerin's house. throughout the whole car ride, i couldn't stop thinking you. i thought of how you looked in your dress, how you smiled at jimin, the words you said to me the other day.

i wanted to say something, no - i should've said something. i should've told you how sorry i am, or how happy i was that you were going with jimin. the tension between us was too thick, pulling us farther away. there is so much i want to say, so much i want to fix, yet i always find myself at an obstacle. it's almost like life doesn't want me to say these things to you.

but if you're reading this, you looked beautiful that night.