Chapter- Nineteen : I DON'T WANNA BE A STAR

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Ezekiel

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Ezekiel...

January 7, 2002

Three days, three days had passed since the meeting I had attended with Aurora. It was a good day, we went to a restaurant in Monterrey named La Nacional.

The meeting was also going well with me, Aurora and the lawyers where we decided to have equal parts of buisness from both diamonds and the shares of the clubs on our names.

On our way back, we left in a car and due to the buisness conversation, decided to keep the privacy window down.

" It went well. " She said with a sigh but the only thing I saw was her outfit, it was a shirt which had a feminine look to it and a jeans with an overcoat with a 'L' engraved on it.

It was common with most of her official outfits but with the outfit she wore for the meeting, she looked fearless, confident, beautiful.

" You are staring. " She pointed out and I just turned my face towards the window to remind myself to calm down and to be in control.

When I showed her the library, I just never found the reason behind it. The library was a personal and close place to me where I used to find calmness to prepare for the killings I did and where I used to go when I was broken and scared as a child.

I soon became adapted to this world and started loving the colour and the smell of the blood, I soon got addicted to the rush and the feeling of being in power but before everything, when I shivered by the very thought of it, I used to be there.

The library wasn't always the locked room, but the moment I bacame a made man, I changed it to place which was only mine, because I couldn't think of anyone understanding the importance of the air in that room.

It was the first room with black door, black because, the colour was the defination of my soul and mind and after I changed the door, I never let anyone go in, not even Griffin and Miguel.

But her.

Screamed my mind, which made me question my self since the moment we went back to the main house. I kept telling myself that I was doing everything to make her fall for myself, so that I would be able kill her by the end of the fifth year I spend with her.

And I told it to myself so much that majority of my being believed in it. But the part left behind, it was still confused and angry for doing what I did.

" You okay? Its way too early for a drink. " I turn around and saw her, she was still in her sports bra which was the only thing she wore every night with her sweatpants as I was in a pair black sweatshirt and shorts.
" Why would you care otherwise? "

I said and turned back to the the drink I was making. We didn't slept on the same bed, she had the bed and I had the couch which started as she was not well in the past few days and became a routine somehow.

I heard her snort and then felt her beside me. She was close, very close that I felt her body pushing behind me, which made me pause and before I could turn, she whispered, " I would. " And stood beside me.

" Make me one too. " She pouted as I drank one clear shot of Vodka, " God gave you hands so help yourself. " I started to make another one as she shrugged and took the other vodka shot glass and made herself one neat drink.

It was fucking three in the morning but that was usual for us to wake up as she liked watching the dawn before the sunrise and the wall in my which was a complete wall was like a present to her. But what was not usual was that we were drinking like teenagers at that hour of the morning.

" What your brother was here for? " I asked as the sudden visit from her brother was unexpected. " He wanted to make sure I am fine. " She said while she constantly looked out of the window.

" Stars. " I drank my drink and looked to where she was looking, and stars which didn't made any any particular constellations, " what? "

She looked straight at me and for a second all I saw was a girl, not some one who was like me, sho was a killer, just a girl who had a tattoo of wings on her behind, on the upper neck of hers which made me wonder of the meaning behind it.

" When we are small, every one say we should be stars which shines in the dark. " She said quietly while she turned back to looking outside the window.

" So? " I was still confused but decided to look back to the twinkling dots on the sky. " So, nothing. It's just a something I remember every time I see a star and think if I am one. "

We were down to almost ten shots of vodka by then but still it felt completely sober. Atleast to me.
" Its a lie you know. " I said and placed the bottle back to the cabinet of the small bar I had in the room.

" What do you mean by the word lie. " She said, almost like a child which guaranteed she wasn't as sober as I was.

" I mean isn't it just a hell of an irony when people say..be a star in the dark , but isn't it wrong? A star, beautiful indeed but the most alone in the sky... People say be a star in the darkness, shining for everyone to see..but isnt that just an irony.. being a star? To shine in the dark, for every one else to see, to guide every one but at the constant feeling that you yourself is getting lost in the dark at a excruciatingly slow speed. To be a star whose shine every one else can see but not by it's own self. To see others shine in the dark and try harder to shine out of the chaos just to get tired of the world and fading eventually in the dark...like every other thing. "

That was the longest thing I ever told her in one conversation but it was true. When I looked back to her she was staring at me, with the light of the dawn and the promise of the uprising sun on her face which made her look beautiful. She is beautiful.

But the thought jerked me back to the reality and before I could have lost any more control, I left towards the bathroom.

While I showered I heard the doorknob being opened and knew that there was only a shower wall between me and her. " I am not looking, just want to have my toothbrush. " I sighed and went back to showering.

" I am going, you want to have what in breakfast? I will tell Samantha to make it. "

" Eggs and bread. And yeah one more thing! "

It took her a while to answer back and I thought she left but she said eventually, " what? "

" Next time you whisper in my ear, I will fucking kiss you. "

Just to make her fall right?

" If you really hate your life that much. " I heard before a loud slam and chuckled.

Just to make her fall.

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Hey lovieees, so this was a chapter I wanted to write for so so long, because I just loved the idea of #Auzekiel have some alone time.😌

What do you think!?!?!👀👀

And was it really about " to just make her fall? " Share your theory✨

Dont forget to vote, comment and share ✨✨❤️❤️

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