Before You, He Had Me

Thirty

13 weeks

"Knock knock." Calum leans his shoulder against the doorway, smiling at Meg as she looks up from the pad she is sketching on.

"Hi." She smiles softly.

"So, I thought you wouldn't be working a lot." Calum smirks, wandering into the room.

"I guess I was wrong?" She tries, but Calum can tell there's more to it.

"What's going on, Meg. You've lived with us for over a week now, why are you hiding in here."

"You've been working a lot too." She tries.

"Yes I have. We have an album dropping at the end of this week and the only promo we have been able to do has been online. But that's not what I'm talking about, Meg. I share a bed with you and still feel like I'm alone. You either come to bed after I'm asleep, or fall asleep in here because you were too tired to walk to the room next door. What's freaking you out, baby? Because it's scaring me, this distance you've suddenly put between us despite living together. Do you even want to be living here, Meg?"

"Of course I do, Calum." She sighs, putting down her pencil finally and turning in her chair to face him.

"It doesn't feel like it." Calum drops his gaze.

"I'm sorry. I'm just freaked out I guess. I've never been unemployed for longer than like a couple weeks between guaranteed jobs. I've never lived with a boyfriend before. I've never been pregnant before. I've never lived through a pandemic before. But mostly, I've never ever had so many opinions on me and who I'm dating thrown at me so constantly and angrily. And they don't even know we are together actually." She breaks. "I'm overwhelmed and I'm afraid everything is going to crumble and I feel seconds from crumbling all the time and so I come in here and focus on designing things so I can push everything else out of my brain."

Calum waits a moment to make sure she's done before smiling sympathetically at her, "You're going to be just fine, Meg, you know that right? Michael and I, we would never let you not be okay. I know it's probably scary to not have an income. I can't relate, it's been years and years since we were broke as a band, but I can see the fear of it. But that's part of why I wanted you to have this space, this is a space where you can design and create your own income. You are so talented, and I believe 100% that you could create your own little shop out of this room if you wanted. As for the pregnancy thing, I can't really give you much. But I can remind you how sure you were of your choice, and remind you I'm here to help with anything you need. I'll postmate whatever you're craving and rub your back or feet if they hurt, and I'll do whatever I can to help you find the right couple to adopt the baby. As for the pandemic? Well I think the whole world is a little bit lost there, go easy on yourself. We are safe in a nice home with each other and we'll get through it together, one day at a time." He shifts forward to lean his elbows on his knees, grasping her hands across the small space, "And us, Meg, we are going to be fine. Please don't listen to the fans. You know this. You've watched them for years, doing these things to each girlfriend any of us had publicly or were rumored to have. They all have their opinions, but their opinions are not my opinion or your opinion on what's happening between us. They are outside opinions, based on shit that is old news anymore. No one knows our connecting, no one knows what happened to you, or the way we have been brought together so vulnerably and honestly this year. We have a connection that is so strong, Annie, please don't let anyone make you doubt that."

"They are though... they are making me question everything. I hated you, Cal. The day it happened, I hated you. Am I going to hate you again after I heal completely? Am I ruining everything by thinking I could fall in love with you when I only changed my opinion because you saved me that night?"

"That is not the only reason you changed your mind and I you know that." He frowns, "That may have been the turning point, but I know the connection we have is real, Megan. The only thing that night did was break the walls down, it let you let me in. You don't have to be afraid, you built those walls for so long but now, now you know me, really know me, and not just your defensive perception of me. Are you honestly afraid you're going to hate me again, baby?"

"No." She deflates slightly, "But I worry that my feelings are so intense right now because you saved me. I'm afraid I could lose some of my feelings for you as time goes on. And it scares me, I don't want to lose my feelings for you, but what if the fans are right and I'm going to."

"Meg, there's no guarantee anyone will keep their feelings for anyone. Mike and Crystal could fall out of love eventually, even if it seems a pure impossibility right now. I honestly don't see it happening but it is a possibility. Have you felt like your feelings towards me have lessened over the last few weeks? Are you afraid it's already happening?"

"No." She is watching her hands, "I just got scared they could someday."

"You can't live in the what if's, Annie. What if it works out, what if we fall madly in love and live out our entire lives together? What if it lasts three years, but it's perfect and amazing, and we leave on terms of understanding. Whatever time I get to have with you, I want it to be as good as it can be, and I want you to enjoy it. You mean so much to me, Megan Clifford, please don't let the fans ruin this for us."

"I was sure I was falling in love with you. But then... all their tweets and comments and everything got to me."

"Love?" He can't help but grin, all his dimples surely on display for her to see.

"Ya..." She chuckles with a scoff, "you're crazy best friends kid sister of all people."

"No." He smiles pulling her hands to make the chair roll across the small space until she is sat basically between his knees.

"No?"

"Not my crazy best friends kid sister of all people. My Annie girl, the most loving, selfless, talented, and beautiful woman in the world is falling in love with me. And Annie, I'm more than falling for you too. I'm sunk, full on drowned in the love I have for you, baby, and I hope in seventy years I die still in this place and these feelings." He cups her jaw carefully, brushing the rough pad of his thumb across her cheek. "I love you, Megan Grace Clifford, more than anything."

Her lip trembles softly, "I love you too, Cal, I'm terrified of it, and afraid I'm going to hurt you, but I do. I love you, Calum Thomas Hood."

"Don't be afraid, I'm not afraid of you, Annie, I don't think you're going to hurt me." He chuckles softly, leaning forward to press his lips to hers.

"I love you." She whispers against his lips, chuckling slightly.

"Please just talk to me, Annie. I know it's been a rough year for you, but please don't take it out on the good things and people that have happened and come into your life. Don't ruin the good because you're afraid of the bad."

"I'm sorry, Cal, I just got so overwhelmed."

"I know that now, but I was afraid you'd got over me, and I hated that feeling."

"Not over you. You're way too hot for that." She giggles, "Come on, I think I owe you some alone time."

"Alone time?" He sits back, eying her excitedly."

"Let's go to bed, lover boy." She laughs, standing and pulling him by the hand to follow her.

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Real full on smut next time!

I'm going to try to update Friday night but the next 3 days are jam packed. It might be later on Saturday before I do. Retail + Black Friday = death weekend.

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I love you guys!!!

~M =)