Before You, He Had Me

Twenty-Three

"How did it go?" Calum asks as Meg climbs back into the car, a chocolate milkshake already held out towards her.

"It was an emotional shit show." She whispers, taking a long sip of the drink.

"What did they tell you? Can you have the pregnancy terminated quickly?"

"I'm not terminating the pregnancy." Her voice is barely audible, and Calum is glad he had pulled to a stop at the light before she said it.

"What? Why?" He tries to not sound completely appalled by her sudden change of heart.

"A woman sitting in there, while I was waiting... she was in tears. Not much unlike I felt honestly. But then I found out she was crying because she found out she would never be able to have a the baby she so desperately wants. I have a baby, from terrible, terrible circumstances, I understand that. But what if I find a couple, someone like that woman, and I give them the dream they never thought they would have. What if I take the most selfish thing someone did to me and I turn it around and doing the most selfless thing I can think of and give a loving couple the chance to have the baby they want more than anything?"

"You don't want to keep the baby?" Calum asks, slightly confused.

"I don't think I am strong enough to raise a child of mine conceived in this way, Calum. I think I would always see them as what happened to me. But maybe I can give someone else the life they wanted and deserve due to the unfortunate circumstances my life took this year."

"Meg, last night you called me in tears, terrified of having this reminder of what happened to you. Are you sure about this?" He asks nervously, reaching over to rub her thigh softly.

"I'm taking something bad and turning it into something good. I can do this, Calum. I want to do this. It feels like my life is falling apart right now, but putting this baby up for adoption will give me a way to be an answer to someone else's world falling apart. It's only nine months, and then I can look back and know I helped create someone else's happiness through my selflessness. I want to do that, Calum. I want to hand the baby to them in September and see the pure joy on their faces when their dreams are made true."

"Meg." He chuckles softly, a hint of admiration in his tone, "I want to be as selfless and kind as you are when I grow up."

"My dreams are coming true, with far too many derailments it seems, but I'm living in LA working with someone who can help launch me into the world I want to be in. I have to do this. I have to give someone else their dream. I don't care if no one supports me in this. I have to do it."

"I'm going to support you, Megan. I am in awe at the confidence you have in this plan. And I refuse to be mad that you are choosing this. It's not my choice to make, and as long as you are sure, I will be behind you 100% on it." He glances over at her to make sure she is really listening.

"Thank you. I saw her crying, and heard her story, and made my choice. Honestly, I feel more at peace about it now than I have felt since before any of it happened. I feel better knowing I have the control and choice to turn this into something good for someone."

"You amazing me, Megan Clifford. I will never be in the place you are, I know that. But I don't think I would have made the same choice if I was."

"Thank you for trusting me with this choice, Calum."

"Of course." He steps on the brake as they hit a stop sign, leaning across the console to kiss her deeply for a moment before continuing the last couple streets to Michael's house.

"What was that for." Meg asks almost breathlessly as she ghosts her fingers over her lips.

"I just, you absolutely amaze me, Annie. I'm so honored to know you so well and get to be a part of your life." He stumbles over his words slightly.