With You Or Without You

DARK PAST

Nandini took a deep breath, placing her head on his shoulder and started saying.

Pyar! Yeh ek lafz agar zindegi mein ajaye to ya to khushiyon se bhar deta hai ya phir sari zindegi rula kar jata hai...bohot sal pehle 2 logon ke zindegi mein pyar ne kadam rakhi... lekin mushkil tha gharwalon ko manana... movies ke hero heroine ki tarah bhag gaye "she smiled " aur shadi karke apne nayi zindegi basaye... bohot jald ek beta aya... sabkuch theek tha...lekin achanak pyar ne unke zindegi se jane ka faisla karliya tha... "she stopped for a while" aur afsos ki bat to yeh hai, ki tabtak unse ek bohoy badi galti hogayi thi.... aur woh galti kya thi pata hai? "She looked at him" MAIN... galti se MAIN agayi.... ek mistake...

He looked at her with so many questions in his eyes.... she kept looking forward...

Gharmein serf jhagda aur ladai hoti thi, maine kabhi un dono ko ek dusre se haske bat karte huye nahi dekha...bohot ladte the... jitni badi hoti gayi utna hi ghar ka hal bigadte gaya.... bohot roti thi main... bohot... "she started crying as her tears were falling from her eyes silently"

He tightened his grip on her hand to give her support.

Choti si bacchi thi... pyar chahiye tha mujhe lekin koi mujhse pyar nahi karta tha... meri ma... "she inhaled deeply" meri apni ma ko mujhse pyar nahi thi... sabki ma unke bacchon se pyar karti hai na? Phir meri ma ko mujhse pyar kyun nahi thi? "She asked him looking at her"  kabhi mujhe gale se nhi lagaya unhone, kabhi meri taraf pyarse dekha bhi nhi.... mujhse koi galti ho jati thi to mahino tak mujhse bat nahi karti thi.... main itni boori hu manik? Itni boori ki mujhse thoda sa pyar nhi kiya ja sakta?  "He wiped her tears turning her to him"

Tum sabse acchi ho... meri ho... main pyar karta hoon tumse.... jaan ho tum meri.... i love you so much...."he hugged her "

She broke the hug and stood up. Standing near the railling she continued...

Dhere dhere main badi hogayi aur ek din papa hum sabko chod kar pata nahi kaha chale gaye.... humne bohot dhunda unhe... phir unke ek dost se pata chala ki unhone dusri shadi karli hai.... aur unke sath  chale gaye.... din guzarta gaya.... hum samhalne ki koshish kar rahe the... tab papa ka call aya aur unhone humein paise bhejna shuru kiye... zaroorat thi paison ki lekin usse zyada unki zaroorat thi mujhe .. mom ka bartav aur seh nahi sakti thi... koi tha bhi nahi mere pas mujhe hosla dene ke liye...
Bhai ka bhi koi khas rishta nahi tha mere sath.....thodi si aur badi hogai to samhal liya maine khudko.... pata chal gaya tha abse zindegi akele hi guzarni hogi.... ban gayi strong.... "he placed his hand over hers which was on the railling"

Aur phir mom bhi kisi aur ke sath shadi karli... chod diya mujhe aur bhai chala gaya gharse... papa ko mujhpar rehem agaya tha to unhone apne pas London le gaye woh bhi dhoke se... main apni ma kuch zyada hi pyar karti thi na... unhe chodna nahi chahti thi.... mujhse kaha tha serf kuch dino ke lie jana hai phir main apni ma ke pas wapas a sakti hu lekin apnon ne dhoka diya... waha jana jail jane ka barabr tha ek kamre band rehti thi main...kisi se bat nahi karne dete hai...bhai ne saf saf lafzon mein keh diya agar main wapas gayi to mujhse sara rishta khatam.... tab bhi itni takleef nahi hui jitni papa ke harqat se huyi...

Fresh tears rolled down from her eyes...

Bacchi thi main tab bhi.... mujhse paper pe likh kar liya tha, sign karake ki agar main wapas gayi to unki beti nahi rahungi aur nahi unke property par mera koi haq rahega... maine to khushi kuahi woh bhi karlia tha.... mere lie mom zyada maaine rakhti thi bhalei woh mujhse nafrat kyun na karle... dil se utar gaye us din ke bad papa... bacchi ko lalach dikhate hai paison ki serf apni ma se alag karne ke liye?

She took a deep breath, gulping saliva

Nahi ja payi main wapas... you know why?  Mom ne mujhe apne pas rakhne se inkar kardiya... jinke liye maine duniya se ladai ki papa se gali khayi maar khayi unhone asani se mujhse muh phir liya.... aur us din maine khudko promise kiya.... that.. Nandini will never cry anymore...she will stronger than before... hamesha ke liye chup hogayi main... kisike bina koi shikayat ke chup hoke guzarne lagi din....