SCENERIOS, HEADCANNONS, AND BEST OF ALL, LOTS OF FLUFF AND LEMONS!!!

You might want to skip--[CHAPTER 61] SAKUSA KIYOOMI * Contradiction*

Uhhh how do I put this?

This chapter is gonna be a rant chapter that's specifically centered around a couple of problems I have myself. And because he's my husband and one of my problems is extremely similar to his germaphobia, I thought he'd be a good candidate for this one. 😅😅

I've had these problems pretty much ever since I was in fourth grade which is, like, 9 or ten years old. And since I, you know, live in a strict ass family, I can't really tell them about my troubles and I just really wanted to make a chapter to vent it all out bc I really am about to explode.

Which is probably why I'm so happy that I have readers because you guys make me feel special😁🤩🤩

I'm still gonna use the Y/n and She/her/i pronouns, but uh, there are traits that you may or may not possess.

Also, very very angsty (?) bc it's talking about my uhhh yk mentality and whatnot, and it's not very good so.....

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Contradiction. Later in life, I end up realizing that perfectly sums up who I am as a person. The way I think, perceive, and live is so easily a contradiction to itself. All I've ever wanted to do was live the way others live, but people constantly remind me that I'm not normal.

The way I grew up wasn't like other children. But, somehow I persevered through embarrassment, harsh words, and bullying. Although, I do suppose that I didn't have it that rough in terms of bullying because I didn't even realize it was bullying until two years later.

That's not where it all started, though. It started with my older sister, who in this story will be named Ama. Like in all big families, you have that one sibling that you hang out with constantly. The one who you'd pick over the rest, or you'd lie for. I had one. Had.

Ama was that sibling. She was so kind and treated me better than any of the siblings without them noticing. We played all the time and shared the worst secrets, like the one time she accidentally said 'damn' instead of 'dang'.

She was a year older than me, and our birthdays were in the same month. Damn, our zodiac signs were even the same. Scorpio.

I admired her to no end and every day I found something even better to admire about her. The thing was, because I was so engulfed in loving her as my sister, I failed to genuinely notice my other siblings. There were many other siblings that I could've chosen, yet I chose Ama.

Well, I do suppose it was because she was closest to my age. We were inseparable, infamous, and incredibly wonderful friends all the way to fourth grade.

Right, fourth grade.

I remember the time like it was the back of my hand. It was the moment something in me, something that shouldn't've clicked, knew everything was going to change. She was a year older than me, so fifth grade was when she took the sharpest change I've ever witnessed.

Around a month before summer break, we were in our shared room and like always, we were playing together on the carpeted floor. She was talking about her day while brushing her Barbie's hair.

But, today's talk was different. Something about the things she was talking about gave me the same disheartened feeling as the recent odd talks she's had with me or my mother. There was a time around a week or two before that I woke up and she or my mom weren't anywhere to be found.

Once I asked my father, he told me they had gone shopping. When they arrived home at nearly ten am, she had large bags and her familiar excited smile. She set the bags down and told me to close the door quickly so she could show me.