apologies & regrets | bnha (bkdk)

~ 3 ~

A/N: i'm impatient lol so i'll post this chapter early too :3 the updates won't always be early tho cuz i only have a limited number of chapters already written so yk ^^ anyway- enjoy!

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"I just saw Bakugou storm out of our classroom. I've never seen him so emotional. Do you know what happened, Iida?" Shouto asked, with slight concern obvious in his usually calm voice. Tenya looked up at him.

"I thought Uraraka wanted to go talk to him to try, and find out what's been bothering him lately." He replied, matter-of-factly.

"Wasn't the plan that Kirishima's going to talk to him tomorrow?" Shouto asked again, confusion evident in his voice.

"Originally, yes, that was the plan. But Uraraka didn't want to wait that long, so she decided to take matters into her own hands."

"Oh. She must've been pretty... curious. Or maybe she was just a bit  impatient." He coughed, "Anyway, what do you think caused him to be so angry?"

"I'm assuming that Bakugou didn't want to talk to Uraraka about this thing that's been bothering him. Thinking of that now, it's probably something personal, and we, as a class, should really respect his privacy." Light reflected off Tenya's glasses just as he finished that sentence.

"Huh, yeah. That's probably it. I'm not going to lie though, I'm still a bit curious. But you're right, maybe we should just leave him be.." Shouto replied, calm as ever. Tenya simply nodded.

Shouto turned around, and went to leave the room. Right before stepping out the door, he looked back at his classmate, and said: "Oh, Iida, I'm going to ask Uraraka about it anyway."

Tenya didn't comment on that, he simply rolled his eyes at his classmate's childish curiosity.

~

Katsuki had managed to run away from his conversation with Ochako. He was genuinely surprised that she didn't manage to catch up with him, since he hadn't even used his quirk at all. He simply hadn't had the energy for it, mentally. Physically speaking, he was in top form. Because of course he was.

He was standing on their school's rooftop at the moment. He knew he wouldn't be able to go anywhere off the school's premises, and make it back on time without getting in trouble, so he simply decided not to challenge his luck.

He was truly hoping that Ochako wouldn't be able to find him up there, because he knew that if she did he wouldn't be able to avoid that conversation as easy as this time again. But then again, Katsuki was also aware that they'd have school later that day, and there really wasn't a good, or easy way to escape her then.

He wasn't sure what to do.

Just normally interacting with her was super hard for him, because of how similar her personality was to Izuku. She's a very determined person, who won't give up until they've reached their goal, just like his old friend. And she's also so damn caring, it's ridiculous. He doesn't know it for sure, but he's sure that Izuku would also be flustered as easily as Ochako. The reason why he didn't actually know that for sure was because he hadn't paid that much attention to Izuku back when the other was still alive, and well.

There was nothing he regretted more than how much he took Izuku for granted. Like he'd always be a constant character in his life, no matter what. Because for a while, that's exactly what Izuku was to him.  Someone who was always a constant factor of his life.

After the day they first met, Izuku was always there. Until he wasn't. And it was Katsuki's fault, he just knows it. Even if Izuku would never've said anything like that.

Back then, it truly didn't seem to matter what kinds of hurtful things Katsuki threw his way, Izuku would always bounce back almost instantaneously, like he hadn't even heard the blonde's insult.

Katsuki was never quite sure what to make of that.

In the past, he thought of that as an inconvenient, annoying part of his former friend. A flaw. Because it meant that he wasn't able to push him away, no matter what. And back then, he also thought Izuku's kindness was his friend looking down on him, not viewing him as strong enough.

He only realized that wasn't the case after it was all too late already, and his former childhood friend was gone, out of his life, forever.

"Isn't this what you always wanted, Kacchan?"

That was the last line of Izuku's suicide letter to Katsuki. Katsuki wasn't the only one who'd gotten one of those, but his was the only one that even referenced that their friendship was messed up, and that maybe, it wasn't even a friendship towards the end anymore.

Every single time when Katsuki remembered the letter Izuku had left for him, he wanted to break down into tears right then, and there. He felt like that in this moment too. But he couldn't just bawl his eyes out. He couldn't, didn't have the energy to, and he also didn't want to risk losing the peace he was experiencing in that moment.

He sighed, and walked closer to the railing. He slowly, calmly looked over the campus, taking in the beautiful sight in front of him.

He focused on the cool spring air hitting his skin, smiling softly for a few seconds. His face returned to his usual scowl, but internally he was still feeling the same. He wasn't exactly sure whether that was a good thing, or not. But he still wasn't sure if he cared either, since no one was around.

He lowered his gaze again, not deeming it necessary to keep watching.

Katsuki then pulled out his phone to check the time, to see when he'd have to return to class. He was slightly surprised when he saw that class had started a few minutes ago. He sighed loudly, and immediately decided that he'd be skipping the rest of class today. He just couldn't find the motivation to go back, and risk having Ochako talk to him again. Or Kirishima, since he apparently also had a part in that.

Katsuki quickly decided that he'd go visit Izuku, and then go to his dorm room. He wasn't quite sure why he suddenly didn't worry about getting in trouble anymore, but he wasn't going to question it for no reason.

He slowly stepped back from the railing, already thinking about what he wanted to tell Izuku about when visiting him.