Butterfly [j.jk]

사십이

오랜 친구

and it was like no time had passed, as if those several years they've spent apart never left a dent. the way they stood across one another, giggling at god knows what, in the middle of the lush plains, the atmosphere silent but calm and the wind being the only song to accompany them. it was a scene all too familiar.

like those senior days they spent on the school field, sitting on the grass, with laughs to last a lifetime. those days that were no one else's, just theirs. jeongguk and jangmi.

and for a moment it seemed like they had been stuck in a time warp, like nothing had changed.

memories of those days were tucked in the back of their minds, but now peering its way back out.

"i couldn't ride my bike properly 'cus you're hair would always fly in my face! god, the amount of times i nearly fell--" a hefty sigh leaves his chest, "we should've taken the bus." his nose scrunches, they both laugh.

"okay, maybe i did that on purpose." she chimes, with eyes deer-like and innocent. another sigh peers through, the boy defeated, oblivious to her sudden confession.

nonetheless, endless giggles fill the air as more stories were passed on. eyes turning into crescents, they laughed 'til their tummies hurt.

but nothing is ever all giggles, is it? especially not with jeongguk and jangmi. it was an elephant in the room and the two seemed to chuckle at everything but that. and so the laughter faltered eventually. it had to, it was inevitable.

"are you.. not mad at me, jeongguk?" fiddling with her fingers, she asks, her voice not as cheery as it did moments ago.

silence engulfs them and their gaze locks with anything but each other's.

"no, i could never." the boy utters. jangmi turns to him, taken aback. "it pained me, very. and i thought i'd never overcome the ache i felt. if there were a reset button on life i'd just want to press it and forget."

"but then someone told me that i should keep those memories, no matter how much despair it brought. that i should forgive, accept, and cherish. she said that the ache will always be there, but over time the intensity will fade. and soon you'll find other beautiful things to fill your days with."

"and now that i think of it, she was right." he stops. unknowingly, a soft smile carves upon his lips. "because looking at you, right now, i can finally say—i've healed."

the grass danced in the wind and his eyes glimmered as he spoke, the reflection of the sparkling sun in his gaze. there was warmth in his words that touched her heart.

"whoever that person is, she sounds very special. keep her close." jangmi said, with a cheeky nudge on the elbow.

it was true that nari was special to jeongguk. if he were to pinpoint when he began to see his days glisten again, he'd trace it back to when he had met the girl. but he couldn't help but feel this peering tinge of despair at the thought.

she watched as the gleam in his eyes falter, grim clouds taking place in his gaze. "that's the problem," he mutters, glum, "i can't."

puzzled, her brows furrow. "why is that?" she asks.

there's a moment of hesitation, the boy turns stiff. still, he decides to pour his heart. "i only planned to stay here for a year. now i have to leave soon-- back to seoul."

downcast. that was what jangmi saw. just utter misery that screamed in his words. and though the cards for them had changed, she still cared for him. it pained her to see him like that.

"is everything in life planned?" she stands up, looking at the boy with a knowing gaze. "the real question is, what is it that you want?"

"what do you want, jeongguk?"