In Another Summer || Mark Lee/NCT DREAM

Chapter 22. The Summer of '18

My eyes opened slowly, the warmth of the sunlight seeping through the long curtains of the window.

A stray tear fell on my left cheek.

It's that dream again...

I stayed still on my bed for a few minutes, letting the tears fall from my eyes. I couldn't help it, I felt sad the moment I woke up.

I dreamed about myself again in the hospital.

This wasn't the first time, and I'm sure it's not the last either. I've been having the same dream since December last year, and it's already June.

I remember seeing three people, and I remember how two of them were my parents. In the dream, at least. The other person, I wasn't so sure who it was.

But I know what his name was now.

I remembered how he appeared in every dream I had.

He was the guy who was sitting with me on a bench, in a park that I frequented.

He was the guy I played music with, in a room full of instruments.

He was the guy who took me to Switzerland and swam with me at the beach, and the one who took me to a hot air balloon ride, and that vast field full of red flowers.

In one of my dreams, he was also the guy whom I met in the cemetery, but just a bit older than the usual teenage boy I've been seeing. I was a child in that dream.

The dreams were always different every time. They were never the same with each other, except for the hospital dreams.

This was at least the third time this month that I had that exact same dream of being in the hospital, of dying.

And I always cry every time I wake up...

I sat up on my bed, gathering my energy for the morning. After a few minutes of collecting my soul, I stood up and drew open the curtains.

The bright morning sun filled my entire room with its light, making me shield my eyes with my hand.

I then walked towards my desk across the room, finding my diary right where I left it. I opened it at the page where I last wrote about that exact dream, reading it. It was just last week.

"Just like last time, he asked me how I was feeling, and I said I felt sleepy. Then I greeted them good night, and I slept. For a very long time."

I skimmed the other words I wrote, looking for that specific sentence.

"In this particular dream, I kept calling his name. But I still don't know what it is. I can't remember what I called him."

I sighed softly, curling my lips in a small smile, then I grabbed a nearby pen and wrote on my diary.

June 17

• I was in the hospital again
• It's the same one from December, the one where I'm dying of an illness
• As usual, there were 3 people
• My mom, my dad, and him
• Of course it's not really my actual parents, but in the dream they were my parents
• It's the same happenings, them telling me how much they love me, and how proud they were of me
• The guy also told me that he loves me, and I said I love him too
• It doesn't feel strange anymore, as opposed to the first time I dreamed about it
• I got used to it
• In fact, it felt real
• Like I actually meant when I said I love him and he also meant his words
• It felt like I actually knew him, or I've known him
• And it makes much more sense now because I finally remember his name
• I finally remember what I called him in this dream
• And it's the same name that I kept calling him in all the other dreams
• Maybe I do know him because he seems really familiar to me
• I feel like I've seen him before, other than the dreams
• Actually, I think I've been seeing him lately, like at school or somewhere
• Or I don't know, maybe I'm just imagining it
• But why do I keep dreaming of him?
• What's so significant about these dreams about him?
• And why does he keep calling my name, but it's not really my actual name?
• Sighhhhhh, if only I could ask him in the dreams, but I can't
• I can't control my dreams, it's not exactly easy
• And it's not like he can answer my questions
• They're just dreams after all
• His name, by the way... it's Mark