Wolfstar Oneshots (With a Hint of Jily) #Wattys2019

In A Dream

A/N: Songfic based on the song "In A Dream" by Troye Sivan. This oneshot starts off sad but ends happily. Muggle AU.

Italics are the song lyrics.

Sirius POV:

I think about it
Can't think about it
Took a flight all the way home, yeah, ooh
No way around it; I still see you way up here, yeah

I'm stressed about it
Went west about it
Took a hammer to my phone, yeah, ooh
No way around it; I still hear you crystal clear

It's been a year. 

A year since I made the worst mistake possible.

A year since I broke his heart.

You see, 3 years ago, I started dating my best friend, Remus. I had liked him since I had known him, so when he started dating, everything felt surreal and I loved it. We met in college and once we graduated, we moved in together. 

With us dating and in love, everything was like a fairytale, almost too good to be true. Obviously, I had to go fuck it up. 

One night, I came home from work a little later than usual with annoyance visible on my face. Remus was already home and even made dinner for us knowing that I would probably be too tired. 

Instead of being appreciative of him, I took out all my frustrations on him, calling him names and blaming him for everything. He was in tears by the end of it but in my fury, I decided to give one last, terrible blow and say that we should probably break up. I remember seeing his heartbroken face and the hurt in his eyes. I was such an asshole that I just stormed to my room and slammed the door.

When I woke up the next morning without him beside me, I realized what I had done and everything came back to me. I wanted to take it all back, but I knew I had done too much damage to repair it. 

For two weeks after that, everything was awkward and silent. We avoided each other as much as possible and barely spoke a word to each other. After two weeks, we slowly started talking again, I apologized for that night and we went back to being best friends, but I destroyed our chance to be boyfriends again. 

Even though its been a year since then, none of us have gone out with anyone else. I haven't even stopped thinking about Remus because I couldn't stop myself, no matter how much I tried. His voice, his face live in my mind, rent-free. 

But I won't let you in again
I'm gonna lock the doors and hide my shit
'Cause my spirit's wearing thin
And there's only so much I can give
I won't let you in again
That's the hardest thing I've ever said, you know
It's the hardest thing I've said

"Where are you going?", I ask Remus, who is all dressed up.

"Oh, I have a date tonight with Lauren from work," he responds. My smile breaks for a second before I put up a fake one and say, "Okay, have fun!".

He smiles and leaves the house, closing the door on his way out. I drop my smile the second the door is closed and try to console myself. It is my fault that we are not together anymore, and at least someone is moving on with their life. 

I have met Lauren before and she was so sweet, she is good for Remus. She won't break his heart. Unlike me.

Now, I have to work on not getting too close to Remus, which will be the hardest thing to do because my heart still belongs to him, whether he knows it or not.

Guess I might understand it
If you don't listen to me
Would've thought it was obvious
That you don't show up in a dream
Guess I even forgive you
For you not wanting to leave, no, no, no
Put my shoes on and run away
But you still show up in a dream
Only making this harder
'Cause I still have to see your, see your face, yeah
(Ooh, ooh)