Monty pov
After that long and amazing bus ride, Winston had invited me to crash at his place but I had to decline because my father was expecting me to be home right when I came back.
I took out my only pair of house keys I had and unlocked the door. I tried my best to open it as quietly as possible, but it's kinda hard to do that when your door squeaks.
Almost making it pass my father who I thought was passed out drunk, I hear him clear his throat and I immediately stopped in my tracks.
"Ahem. Where do you think you're going?" I couldn't tell if he was actually mad or not. I've gotten so used to him talking to me in that angry tone of voice, it's sad.
"I'm just gonna go to my room. To get some sleep." I was nervous, and scared. With my dad, the worse thing you can do is show fear though.
"How was the game? Did y'all win?"
"Yeah we won. We won by like 30+ points. I had 5 or 6 touchdowns."
"That's what I like to hear. Best you get some sleep now, go on." He took a big gulp of his last beer that came in a pack of 6.
My natural instinct was telling me to run up the stairs, but this night, I didn't have to do it. It felt so unnatural just casually walking up the stairs. I still felt uneasy because I thought my father could still run up from behind and start beating me right here, right now. These thoughts went away as I made it to my bedroom where I immediately shut the door and locked it.
My chest started feeling tight, I don't know what to do. I've never had this feeling ever before, and I feel like I can't breathe. I know I can't call the cops because they would take me to the hospital and I'd have a medical bill and my father would kill me.
I started looking on google as fast as possible and I found out I was having a panic attack. Fuck.
I just did whatever the fuck it told me to do. It seemed like it wasn't helping but then I eventually calmed down.
Took about only 20 minutes. Like Jesus I bet people who get panic attacks regular know how to calm themselves down in under 10 minutes. Props to them though.
My mind finally decided to stop thinking about my dad and I started to think about Winston. The one person that ever truly made me happy. I think- I know I'm in love with him, but I can't tell him just yet. The last time I almost did he freaked the fuck out, it could've been because I made it awkward too. Maybe he loves me back. He didn't try to avoid me or anything. That's a good sign.
Just the thought of his hands on me again and me touching him, makes me feel so in love, and turned on.
I should probably get some sleep, only so I can see Winston and time goes by faster.
***
7:15 am
I just finished getting freshened up. I decided I'd dress up a little bit different today.
One night when I was at Winstons, I was looking in his closet for clothes to wear and I stumbled upon this black turtle neck. For some reason I kept staring at it. At the time I didn't realized I had actually liked it, considering my wardrobe is nothing but flannels and plain t-shirts.
So as you all can guess, I took it. It's not like stealing because well, you know, he has my clothes too so I thought "why not?".
It was a bit snug on me but it wasn't to the point where I was uncomfortable. I grabbed my light blue jeans from the closet, my jean jacket, and a belt.
