espionage [h.s.]

FIFTY FIVE

*Sweetheart, what have you done to us?*

HARRY

I didn't want to believe it. I wanted it to be a prank, a practical joke, and if not that, then perhaps some kind of strange, twisted nightmare stemming from my restless night of hardly any sleep. But from the second I see her face, I know it's true.

And then it feels like my whole world falls apart.

As I stand frozen in the doorway for a second, Rochelle uses the opportunity to push the door open a little more and step towards me. But from her closer proximity, from the feeling of her warmth which used to comfort me but now makes me shudder, I'm snapped out of my momentary daze and immediately take a step back, not wanting to be near her. The pain of rejection flashes across her face, and while usually I'd feel bad, I know that her pain has nothing on the absolute agony currently ripping through me like a merciless hurricane, shattering the foundations of my heart I've carefully laid down over the years, and tearing apart the home I had built for her inside it.

"Harry," she eventually says, her voice breathless and thick with emotion, but despite that, I feel a wave of anger that she even has the nerve to say my name right now. She doesn't deserve to be able to address me so directly. "You have to let me explain-"

"Let you explain?" I scoff angrily, my eyes widening in disbelief. "No, I won't let you explain. I can barely even look at you right now." I swallow hard, attempting to choke down the burning pain I can feel creeping up into my throat from just the sight of her brown eyes blinking up at me. Those eyes that used to make my heart skip whenever they looked at me, but now just make me want to squeeze my own eyes shut so I don't have to see them anymore. "Looking at your face, knowing that this was all a lie....it makes me sick to my stomach."

Rochelle's expression twists with hurt again, but even still, she takes another step towards me as if she's prepared for another blow. "Harry, please," she begs. "Please just listen to me-"

"I can't," I spit out. "You lied to me."

I shake my head fervently, part of me still trying to register that this has all happened, that this is now happening. I've been betrayed before, of course. In this line of work, it's kind of a given. People make you promises they never intended to keep, and they'll easily swipe the knife from your grip to stab you in the back with it.

I'm no stranger to betrayal, I've become accustomed to it over the years. But one thing I've learned about betrayal is that it always hurts more when it's committed by the person you least suspected, it stings more when the person who used to bring you so much comfort is now causing you so much pain. The people you're closest to are always the ones who hurt you the most.

Because I don't know what else to do, but knowing I need to move or do something, I begin pacing up and down, the words from what I read only moments ago still echoing through my mind, sending fresh waves of pain through me that somehow get worse every time. "I can't believe this," I say aloud, still shaking my head to myself. "I can believe this whole fucking time you were just lying to me about everything."