Upgrade (Boyf riends)

Finally together (end)

Jeremy's Pov
My stomach feels like a hollowed out deep pit.

My mouth is dry.

Am I really about to do this?

I remember the first time I got the squip, and the genuine happiness that came with it protecting me. Once it was downloaded in my brain, it felt like I had just installed a reset button for my former life.

Everything had changed.

My old attitude was swapped out for a brand new one, my old clothes were tossed away, my old best friend, everything.

I got what I wanted. My number one wish, my the only thing I'd ever ask for, popularly.

I guess I never thought of the price I'd have to pay for it.

But looking at myself now? Sitting here in my living room on my couch with Michael, about to throw it all away.

Is it worth it?

If I go back to my old life, will it be worth it?

"Jeremy? Are you ready?"

I open my mouth for a brief moment, then shut it instinctively. I can't bring myself to give him a proper response.

I don't know. Am I?

"What's wrong?" He asks. My hands start to ball up into fists.

"I can't."

I can't do it, this life, it's all I've ever wanted.

Right?

"You can't? Why not?"

"I'm afraid." I whisper, with my pitch barely loud enough for him to hear.

"What?"

"I'm afraid okay? I'm scared. Scared if I go back to my normal life I'll just end up being a loser again. I'll be unhappy, I don't want to be unhappy! What if I get bullied again? What if this is all just a trick, what if you just want me to drink this stupid soda so you won't have anyone in your way anymore? So I won't be a threat anymore? So you'll be the most popular guy in school and I'll just be at the bottom again?"

Micheal's breath catches, he stiffens.

"Is that really what you think of me?"

"I'm sorry, I just don't know who to-"

"Who to trust? Jeremy, I like you, I've told you that already! I told you that I would never hurt you, not intentionally! Why don't you trust me? Weren't we best friends?" He responds. His hands start to tremble a bit as he looks at me, stabs of pain in his eyes. 

"I know! I know I should trust you, and I want to! There's just something inside me holding me back. My squip, it always told me not to trust people, I'm sorry. This is why I'm scared! I can't even make simple decisions by myself anymore, I always have to take that computers advice. I wish someone would just hurry up and make this decision for me! I wish-"

In a ghost of a second, Michael grabs the Mountain Dew. He opens it and brings some into his mouth and keeps it there. He then caresses my cheek gently with his rough palm. Micheal gives me a looks, something I've never seen him portray before.

His eyes were flooded with something like longing, or compassion.

No.

It was a gaze filled with love.

With one more rub to my cheek, he inches closer.

Then, he finally puts our lips together.

Michael Mell is kissing me.