VIANNIARA
It’s been weeks after that hefty amount of dramas from my family and friends. I explained my side to my friends, and although they seemed unconvinced, they still try to understand me.
They stared at me with red eyes. Tears streaming down their faces like water falls.
“I’m s-sorry for keeping it to myself. I just thought… that it is the b-best for all of us. I’ve been wrong. I’m sorry.” I said between my sobs.
Hinagod ni Aerie ang likuran ko to calm me down a bit. I stopped myself from crying, then I looked at them with puffy eyes.
“I’m sorry…” I emotionally said.
Cassy come near me. She held my face and wipe my wet cheeks due to crying.
“We understand.” she genuinely said. Her eyes twinkled with tears as she gazed at my bruised arms that are now connected to the IV bag. Nang ibalik niya sa akin ang paningin ay tumulo ang mga luha niya.
“We understand that it’s your choice. You don’t have to say sorry, Viann. Kasi kahit ano pa iyan, iintindihin ka namin because you’re our best friend.”
My sobs became louder that my breathing hitched. I laid my head on her shoulder and cried myself out. They seem cautious but they just let me cry. Fanny and Ae come near us for a group hug. And I swear, this is the best feeling ever.
I was never close to my siblings. We were close before the tragedy happened. But then, I almost forgot how it felt to be loved by your own brother and sister. Funny how I found familial love to other people outside our family.
It’s always been empty. Thanks to my friends. Kung hindi dahil sa kanila malamang nakalimutan ko na kung paano ang pakiramdam na magkaroon ng kapatid.
To them I’m at peace. To them I know I can overcome every battle that I may face. To them, I found sisterly love that I never felt on my own siblings.
They come to visit me every day on my first week inside the hospital. They come from time to time with their basket of fruits and their humorous jokes to at least made me laugh.
Cassy always visit me during her breaks and before she goes home to take some rest. Nagpumilit pa nga siya na dito na lang magpahinga na tinanggihan ko naman because it will pressure her. I understood her naman because I am once on her shoes. Aerie, on the other hand, took a one week leave from work. Ganoon din sana si Fanny but her manager called suddenly, and she needed to attend a go-see and a photoshoot from one of her biggest clients.
I’m actually thankful for the time their giving me. I spend moments with them na madalang na naming nagagawa simula nang magka-trabaho kaming pare-pareho.
My family never left since day one. Ang Ate ko lang ang madalang kung bumisita sa hospital dahil sa pagbubuntis niya. I even heard that Gavin came to visit me, but my brother punched him instead. The reason why they kind of had a commotion outside my hospital room while Jayden is checking up my condition. I felt relief not seeing him, though. I felt uncomfortable to see him after everything that happens, lalo na’t nandito rin sa hospital ang Ate ko nang araw na iyon.
Bagaman hindi ko sila kinakausap o pinapansin, nararamdaman ko naman ang sinseridad nila sa pagbabantay nila sa akin sa ospital. I think… it’s a good start to forgive them.
Even though, I avoid looking at my parents, I know somehow, they are blaming themselves. I can feel based on their actions that they are guilty.
I requested for Manang to stay. But of course, she’s a bit older now so she needs to go home to rest every night. Ang naiiwan tuwing gabi ay ang mga magulang ‘ko lang. My brother took over the company days after I got admitted. Ang dahilan nila ay para matutukan ako nila Mommy at Daddy. I just politely agreed to them kahit hindi naman na kailangan.
