VIANNIARA
I stayed in daze with my tears never stop falling. I stared blankly in front of me. My mind is clouded, but one thing for sure, I want to leave.
I compose myself, bringing all my remaining strength together to stand up. I felt helpless and hopeless. Naramdaman ko ang paglingon sa akin nila Ate at Gavin. Patuloy ang pagpatak ng mga luha ko. Ngunit hindi katulad kanina, hindi ko na sila magawa pang tignan o sulyapan man lang.
It’s like I’m kind of traumatized to even look at them. That glancing at them will be too much bloody for me.
Maybe it’s the thing about being in pain for a long time. You’re getting used to the pain, ironically, you will run from the it like a total nightmare because it’s something you wished you did not experienced.
Humawak ako sa barandilya nang umastang tatayo. Kasabay niyon ang pagtingin sa akin nila Gavin at Ate ng sabay. Gavin immediately tried to support me but before that, I pushed him away.
Nanatiling nakababa ang paningin ko. Gayunpaman, ramdam kong natigilan din siya.
“Viann please let’s talk−” akma siyang lalapit sa akin nang umiwas ako.
“I don’t want to see you from now on.” hirap na hirap na ani ko.
“Viann… I know I’ve been an ass but please−” I cut him off once again.
“If you really respect me, don’t show on my face again.” I said between sobs.
“See, Gavin? I told you! My sister won’t accept you anymore!” Chesie said. Katulad ko ay lumuluha rin siya. Panay ang hikbi niya bagaman bakas pa rin ang katarayan sa boses niya.
“Chesie please shut up!” sigaw ni Gavin. Halatang galit siya. Pero bakit siya magagalit? Ginusto niya rin naman diba?
Doon pa lang umingay ang mga yabag sa hagdanan. Nanatili akong nakayuko habang panay pa rin ang mahihinang hikbi. Hindi ko man lingunin batid kong sila Mommy at Daddy na iyon.
“What happened, hija?” alalang ani Mommy kay Ate.
“Mommy!” iyak ni Ate.
“Anong nangyari dito, Gavin?” my Dad stern voice echoed. I felt his eyes on me, but I stayed on my position, crying myself in silence.
No one dared to speak. The hallway was filled with silence. Tanging ang hagulgol lang ni Ate ang maririnig.
“Chesie, anak, what happened?” my Mom asked. I can sense her worry for my sister.
“Mom…” hagulgol ulit ni Ate.
“Gavin, what did you do to her?” she angrily said. Napa-angat ako ng tingin at nakunot ang noo. Nakita ko pa ang bahagyang pagsulyap niya sa akin kaya mas nagtaka ako.
I turned my gaze at Gavin. Nakapikit siya at halatang naguguluhan din. Nilipat kong muli ang paningin ko kay Mommy na patuloy sa pag-aalo kay Ate.
“Are you alright, hija? Kumusta ang baby?”
Lahat ata ng nandoon kasama sila Daddy at Kuya ay napatingin sa gawi nila Mommy. Nanlamig ang kamay ko at talagang natigilan.
“What do you mean by that, Veronica?” mas naging kritikal ang boses ni Daddy. Tila natauhan naman si Mommy at bahagya pang natuptop ang bibig bago alanganing bumaling ulit kay Ate.
Kitang-kita ko kung paano silang nagkatinginan. Humigpit ang hawak ni Mommy sa kamay ni Ate. Muling nanlabo ang mata ko. Ngunit di gaya kanina, wala ng hagulgol o maski hikbi ang maririnig.
