Brooklyn Revival (completed)

Chapter 75- The Talk

DISCLAIMER: TODAYS CHAPTER MAYBE TRIGGERING TO SOME PEOPLE THAT HAVE BEEN ABUSED. PLEASE READ AT YOUR DISCRETION ❤️

That evening, Magnus had put Max to be and was sitting on the couch with Alec as they watched some television. Nothing was interesting on the screen but he could tell that Alec was thinking about something rather than watching as he was chewing on his lower lip and staring ahead. Magnus couldn't help but worry as his fingers twitched on the armrest too.

"Alexander, Are you okay?" Magnus asked after about ten minutes.

"Fine" Alec replied but still didn't look at him.

"I know there is something wrong" Magnus sighed. "Are you having second thoughts?"

"No Magnus, none at all" Alec said and took Magnus's hand. "I just... I should tell you the truth about my past. More stuff that I've not told anyone"

"You know you can tell me anything right?" Magnus said reassuringly as he turned more to face him, wanting him to have his full attention.

"I know... It's just that, it's some dark stuff. You need to prepare yourself" Alec shuddered as he remembered. "No one else knows, except my old psychiatrist. Not even family members, no one can know what I'm going to tell you. I need you to promise me?"

"Alec, you can trust me. Whatever you tell me, it's between us" Magnus nodded.

"Okay, when I was fifteen I loved boxing. I would go to a club after school and I would train for hours before rushing home. I suppose I got into it because dad was so heavy fisted with me and I was gay so I needed to defend myself from bullies. Anyway, I was really good and doing competitions and stuff" Alec started. "I was at a venue about 3 weeks before my 16th birthday and a couple of the guys threw me a party. They said they wouldn't see me on my birthday so it was an early celebration"

"That was nice of them" Magnus smiled but frowned when Alec shook his head.

"No, it wasn't" Alec stated, " We was all drinking and yes we were smoking a little weed but I was kid, I was just going along with them. They were all around nineteen years old but my best friend at the time had to go home so it was just me and the two other guys that I didn't know well but I knew of. So we were high and drunk and they sat on either side of me, smirking to each other and looking at me before one of them grabbed my hair and pushed me to the floor. I was good at boxing but these guys were in the bigger leagues, they were powerful and I couldn't fight them"

Magnus looked on him in horror when he watched Alec stare off into space. A small tear running down his cheek as if the nightmare in his mind was flashing right in front of him.

"They said they know I was a faggot. That they had seen me checking them out and they were going to give me what I wanted. I tried to tell them I didn't want it but they covered my mouth with their hands. One of them got out his dick and forced it down my throat. I couldn't breathe, I was gagging until I was sick. I just... I couldn't do anything cause I was panicking" Alec swallowed as more tears fell. "That wasn't the worst bit. I was so focused on trying to fight the guy in front that I didn't realise the guy behind me. He grabbed my arms and tied them behind my back. I was bound. A dick down my throat and now... my underwear around my knees. I was so scared"

"You don't have to tell me this if you can't do it," Magnus said softly as he pulled Alec in for a hug. Holding him tight as he stroked his hair.

"No, I need to tell you" Alec sniffed as he held onto Magnus. "The guy behind me... He didn't waste much time as he pushed his dick into me. It hurt so much. The pain felt like someone had ripped my insides. I won't go into details but when they finished, they pushed me to the floor and laughed. My face covered, I was bleeding and I was so shaking uncontrollably. They just left me there. After a while, I manage to get up and dressed properly. I took myself to the hospital, I just lied about my age and told them that it was my first time with a guy and he didn't use lube. We kind of chuckled about it and they said I would be fine. I think they knew but they just didn't want to deal with it. So I left. I quit boxing, I would hide in my room. I secretly drank as it helped with the memories and soon I started smoking weed regularly. It was my way of coping. My way of making my mind forget and it worked. I guess its partly why I don't bottom anymore, and I'm more dominate in the bedroom. It's my way of being in control in the situation"

"Alexander, I... I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve that, no one does" Magnus whimpered as he pulled Alec closer to him. "I'll protect you"

"Magnus, I love you so much" Alec sniffed and kissed his cheek. "There is more"

"Continue if you want to" Magnus reassured as he cuddled him.

"It was about four years after that I got into my first relationship. It was with Lydia. I wanted to pretend I wasn't gay. To hide that part of myself. Dad was pleased, he said it was just a phase I was in and that Lydia was good for me. I did love her. She was my best friend. She knew I was gay but we didn't mention it, she needed to marry a good man to help her family and I needed a good woman to keep my fake happiness going. I guess it wasn't long after that I met Craig. He was the one that gave me the courage to be who I was. To admit that I was gay. I didn't tell him about my past, I didn't need too. We just seemed to fit together well and I gave him my all. I ended it with Lydia, my dad disowned me basically, but I was happy. I didn't care. I had Craig and we were talking about marriage and the full works. We were going to move in together but then one day out of nowhere, he left me. No real explanation, he just didn't want me anymore. I was heartbroken and the way I dealt with my emotions before was through drink and drugs. I guess it just became my habit. The minute things got too hard to deal with, I knew that I could forget it with them" Alec sighed. "It's bad, I know but it's all I've known as a coping mechanism for the last 8-9 years. It wasn't until I met you that I wanted to change. It's also why I didn't want kids"

"What do you mean?" Magnus asked confused by the last part.

"I had to completely opposite parents. Dad was harsh, a bully and a dickhead. Mum was an angel, loving and motherly. Yet neither of them could protect me that day. Neither of them could help me. That's why I don't want kids, because no matter how you bring them up, what type of parent you are or how well you think you're protecting them, bad stuff still happens that can fuck up their lives forever. I never wanted to bring a kid into a world and risk that happening. It's awful to think about with anyone going through it, but the thought of being your own kid, That's heartbreaking. I'll always have my memories of that day, I'll always know that drink and drugs will help me feel better and forget even for a short amount of time. However, I also know that if I drink or take anything again, I will lose everyone. Clary is pregnant too and Jace has already said this is my last chance. Izzy will agree with Jace. You and Max will leave me too. I will literally lose my whole life this time and I know that" Alec shrugged slightly.

"Alexander, Thank you for telling me, I promise you that I will keep this to myself but you need to speak to someone about this. You need to go and see someone who can help you get through this. What happened to you was atrocious, it should never have happened but it's not a normal thing. The chances of it happening to Max are slim. I'm not saying that it's impossible, sadly we live in a world with some fucked up and sickening people but all we can do it protect him as much as possible" Magnus said, his voice breaking at the thought of anyone hurting Max.

"I'm sorry I told you this but I needed you to know that I'm not some junkie loser" Alec sighed.

"I'm glad you told me. I didn't think that anyway but now you know that I'm here for you. If things get dark again, talk to me, let me help you" Magnus said and cupped his face. "I love you so much, I'm not going anywhere and I promise you, if you can't handle being with me and Max, I will still be here for you as a friend. Okay?" 

"I'm never leaving you again. I can't. I can't lose you ever" Alec said and kissed him desperately. Magnus's kissing him back with just as much desire.

"Are you okay?" Magnus asked when Alec started shaking a little.

"I don't want to talk about it. It's not a great thing, okay?" Alec said softly, trying to reassure Magnus that he was okay.

"Alec, We need to communicate otherwise this isn't going to work. Please?"

"Fine" Alec sighed "I'm struggling without the drugs okay? I've been taking them non-stop for a while and now that I've stopped I'm having withdrawals. So yes, I am okay but right now it's taking all my efforts to not rush off and get some. Especially after this talk"

"Then let's take your mind off things. Why don't we go and take a bath?" Magnus smiled. "We have one here"

"Sounds Perfect" Alec smiled and followed Magnus to the bathroom