Brooklyn Revival (completed)

Chapter 26- The Past

Magnus looked at Alec absolutely stunned when he heard him say that. His world falling at his feet to think of Alec leaving him now that Alec knew the strength of his feelings for him. He wasn't sure what to say but looked down and turned away from him. Not baring being able to see rejection or anger from the man he loved.

"I'm sorry. Y-you weren't meant to hear... I... You don't have to say it back... I can go?... I'll go now" Magnus said as he felt tears run down his face and went to rush out of the room before he felt Alec's hand on his arm. Looking up at him timidly and wasn't shocked when he saw Alec frowning, knowing this was it.

"Mags... why are you leaving?" Alec asked, unsure as to why Magnus was running.

"I... I just..." Magnus sighed and looked down again. "I don't want you to say it back if you don't feel it but I want to hear it but I also know it's too soon, which is why I didn't tell you. I can't handle you rejecting me either though and it's easier to run"

Alec nodded at Magnus's admittance. Surprised that he actually told him the truth and didn't try and talk around it. Magnus surprising himself too but was more surprised when Alec pulled him in and hugged him tightly. Magnus wrapping his arms around Alec's waist and burying his nose into his neck as he sniffed.

"It's not that I don't love you or that I don't want to tell you but... There are things you don't know about me. Dark stuff. You need to know the truth about me before you decide if you love me or not" Alec said into Magnus's hair. Magnus blinked in shock as he pulled away from him a little.

"Alexander... I don't think there's anything you could tell me that would stop me from loving you but if you want to tell me, then I'll listen. If you don't... well then I'll still love you and you can tell me if and when you are ready" Magnus said as he smiled a little. Now worried about what Alec wanted to tell him. Magnus saw Alec was about to talk again but stopped when Izzy came into the room.

"Magnus. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I was just teasing" Izzy sobbed, tears streaming down her face as much to Alec's surprise as he pulled away from Magnus and hugged her tightly.

"It's fine. Honestly. I guess I'm still a little sensitive when it comes to things like this but its not your fault. Are you ok?" Magnus asked concerned as he looked at the siblings hugging.

"No, these fucking pregnancy hormones. I can't stop crying..." Izzy cried out as she hugged Alec tightly, Magnus unsure on what to do when Simon appeared.

"Baby... do you want to go and get some ice-cream?" Simon said and seeing the grin appear on his girlfriend's face.

"Yes, please. Chocolate and honeycomb?" She beamed happily as she wiped her eyes. Simon smiling and nodding back before he hugged her as Alec pulled away. Suddenly, Izzy bursting into tears again as she held Simon. "I love you so much... I don't deserve you"

"Hey, stop that. I love you too, more than anything. I wouldn't put up with you if I didn't" Simon teased, pleased to hear her chuckle. "You deserve me. I deserve you. We are made for each other. Now let's get you food.."

Izzy nodded and wiped her eyes again, kissing Simon softly before going over to Alec and Magnus and giving them a hug too before they said bye and left. Magnus looking at Alec both confused by Izzy's behaviour and worried about what was going to happen now. Alec sighed and took Magnus's hand, walking them to Magnus's bedroom in silence before they both sat on the bed with the door shut.

"Magnus... a-about my past... I need you to know that I'm not looking for sympathy nor am I expecting anything from you but you need to know..." Alec swallowed as Magnus nodded and took his hands. Magnus now feeling even more scared about Alec's words as he gave his hands a reassuring squeeze. "When I was younger and coming out as gay, I went through a lot of issues. My dad never accepted me and used to hit me and call me a disgrace, my mum wasn't the most understanding at the time. Don't get me wrong, she's fantastic now and has come a long way but in the beginning, she didn't get that it wasn't a choice"

Magnus swallowed and moved so he could sit in Alec's lap, hoping to make him more comfortable and he kissed his cheek. Smiling at him a little and pleased when Alec smiled back.

"You didn't deserve your dad hitting you, I'm sorry. You know that I understand how difficult it can be for your dad to be scum" Magnus sighed before feeling Alec's hand on his cheek, kissing each other quickly before Alec cleared his throat.

"Well because of all that... I went through a rough time with drinking and drugs. I have an addiction to cannabis and spice. I've got it under control and I'm now, I think, almost 6 years clean and my drinking was never a problem unless I was on drugs anyway" Alec let out a shaky breath, not wanting to look at Magnus until he had told him the worst part. "One night, when I was coming up for my 17th, I was at a party and I took some drugs and drank. Well... I drove home..."

Alec felt Magnus tense up and little and looked up, scared of what he would see but he couldn't work out Magnus's emotions at that time. Magnus just confused about how he felt about all the news.

"There was another car and we crashed... the passenger in her car was a 16 years old girl who died after being thrown from the car because she wasn't wearing a seat belt either. I broke my leg after it was trapped and the other girl just had some cuts and a broken wrist, she was really lucky." Alec said, his fingers knotting as he looked up at Magnus to see some anger in his face and looked away. "I wasn't charged... The girl driving was also under the influence too and she was on my side of the road. She was to blame but I always think badly of myself for it..."

"I know... I know the girl that died..." Magnus swallowed. Alec looking up immediately at him with fear.

"w-what? How do you know?" Alec asked confused.

"She was my best friend... Dot Rollins" Magnus said, moving off Alec's lap. "She was out with her other friend and they were at someone's house... Dot rang me and said she was getting a lift from Lucy. I didn't know Lucy was drunk, otherwise, I would have stopped her and picked her up myself. After... After she rang me and put the phone down, she dropped it on the floor and it went under her seat. She took off her belt to reach it when their car was struck by another drunk driver..."

Alec looked at Magnus in horror. Both never imagining the other would have to know about the tragic accident that happened in their lives, neither ever believing that it would have been a connection to each other in some way.

"Magnus... I... I'm so sorry... please don't hate me... I know I shouldn't have done it but... but I was going through stuff and I wasn't thinking... please.... I'm so so sorry" Alec sobbed, Magnus, looking at him and shaking his head slightly.

"I know you weren't to blame. I knew it was Lucy's fault but... Dot died because of a drunk driver... you were the one they hit and you were drunk too..." Magnus said as he started to cry too. "I'm sorry, I need to get some air and think about things."

With that Magnus jumped up and left the room. Forgetting about his keys as he grabbed his shoes and jacket and left the apartment, the sound of Alec's sobs breaking his heart as he cried and left.