tequila ; s. paulson one - shots

someday (s. paulson)

(i recommend listening to the song coz it's essential to the plot hehe 😁)

You and Sarah had always wanted children, from the moment you got married, you looked for every possible way to have a child.

Once you were able to have a daughter, it was the best thing that had happened in both of your lives. She looked like the perfect mixture of the two of you, and she was effortlessly captivating.

Natasha Selene Paulson was the prettiest, most bubbly child anybody had ever seen, and she loved her two moms more than anything in this world, just as much as they loved her.

Every night, you'd sing the song 'Dear Theodosia' to her, Sarah singing along, playing the piano to accompany your voice.

dear Theodosia, what to say to you?
you have my eyes 
you have your mother's name
when you came into the world, you cried and it broke my heart

Your routine was your safe haven, Sarah would go to work in the day, you'd be taking care of baby Tasha, and when she came home, you'd have dinner and then sing to her before bed.

When Sarah had asked you about the song choice, you told her you wanted your daughter to know how much you believed she could achieve, and how much you were willing to give for her, even if her name wasn't Theodosia.

It was just the three of you against the world, it felt like nothing could ever go wrong when you were with the two girls you loved most.

I'm dedicating every day to you
domestic life was never quite my style
when you smile, you knock me out, I fall apart
and I thought I was so smart

Both you and Sarah were always very healthy, so it came as a horrible shock when you were diagnosed with cancer, with low chances of survival.

It seemed like a sick cosmic joke, almost, that the universe had given the two of you everything you had dreamed of, only to take away what Sarah cared about most, long before your daughter had even entered the picture.

Tasha was merely 6 years old, aware of things, yet still not fully grasping what was going on. You did your best to keep her in the dark about your worsening condition, continuing your small ritual every day without fail.

you will come of age with our young nation
we'll bleed and fight for you, we'll make it right for you

Sarah was emotionally hurt, seeing you coming back from chemotherapy weaker and weaker, yet forcing yourself to smile and sing for your daughter to give her the illusion of normality.

It pained you to lie to her daughter, especially when the doctors told you to prepare for the worst. That night you found out the extent of the disease, your voice seemed to be a little shakier than usual.

if we lay a strong enough foundation
we'll pass it on to you, we'll give the world to you
and you'll blow us all away
someday, someday
yeah, you'll blow us all away
someday, someday

Once the time did come that you were much too weak to even sing to Tasha, your daughter found out the truth about your condition, and it broke her heart, to see both her moms in pain.

Your passing came too quickly, painlessly in your sleep, and nobody got the chance to say goodbye. Tasha, as any child would be, was in a state of denial up until your funeral came, and Sarah? She was taking the blows with complete stoicism, not even crying once.

She would sit in the room you used to share every night after Tasha had gone to sleep and curse the world for everything it had put you through, for taking away her daughter's mother, for taking away the one woman she had loved more than anything.

oh Philip, when you smile I am undone, my son
look at my son
pride is not the word I'm looking for
there is so much more inside me now

As the years went by, Sarah had to learn how to raise your daughter by herself and she never touched the piano or sang again, because it only served as a painful reminder of what she had lost.

It wasn't until Tasha, aged 17, found a video of the two of you singing her to sleep, did Sarah finally feel the weight of your absence crashing down on her, and all the tears that had been left unshed poured out, in the embrace of her loving daughter.

oh Philip, you outshine the morning sun, my son
when you smile, I fall apart
and I thought I was so smart

Your daughter saw how much your wife missed you, so she took secret piano lessons and studied and practiced until the 11th anniversary of your death came around.

my father wasn't around
I swear that I'll be around for you
I'll do whatever it takes
I'll make a million mistakes
I'll make the world safe and sound for you

On that day, Natasha blindfolded Sarah and she started playing and singing that song your wife hadn't heard in so long.

Her voice bore so much resemblance to yours, it was almost like you were reassuring her that everything was going to be okay, and reminding her that you would always be there.

It would have been a lie to say that it didn't hurt sometimes to look at Natasha, because she reminded Sarah so much of you, from her smile to her laugh, and it wasn't until she sang that your wife was finally able to see that she was your way of making sure that she wasn't going to be alone ever again.

will come of age with our young nation
we'll bleed and fight for you, we'll make it right for you

Sarah sang along like she used to, playing the piano alongside her daughter, finally letting the emotional barriers she had set up all those years ago crash down, and let the love she held for you and your daughter flood her heart again.

if we lay a strong enough foundation
we'll pass it on to you, we'll give the world to you
and you'll blow us all away
someday, someday
yeah, you'll blow us all away
someday, someday

And in that moment, she knew that everything would be alright again. Someday.

wc : 1063

so here's a sad update for y'all i'm so sorry lmao once again i nearly cried while writing this

as always, please drop feedback and requests !!

- mayesha 🤧