tequila ; s. paulson one - shots

heather (s. paulson)

(as always, song included is essential to the plot !! also it's a masterpiece soooo yea)

"How do I look?" Sarah asked, twirling around in her ethereal white dress.

"You look- wow."

"Was that really all you could say?"

You shook your head, tying the ribbon around her waist, "You look amazing beyond words, Sarah. Holland's a lucky gal."

"Don't be silly. I'm much luckier that she's actually marrying me."

"She better treat you right."

"She already does."

"I'm sure she does, doesn't she?" you seethed, trying hard not to break down.

"Are you okay, Y/N?" the blonde asked concernedly, "You don't look so good."

Rolling your eyes at her, you scoffed, "I'm fine. just because you look amazing doesn't mean you get to call me ugly, Miss Paulson."

She nodded, satisfied with your answer. She didn't notice you wiping away a single tear, or the way your eyes longingly lingered on her joyful look. Fake smile plastered on your face, you helped her get ready for her big day, fixing her hair, make-up, and of course, her dress.

"I'm so glad I've got you here today," she chuckled softly, "I don't know what I'd do without you by my side."

"You'd probably still be too chicken to ask her out."

"Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn't. Either way, you're still the best friend a girl could ever ask for."

"Don't thank me, what are friends for?"

★★★

You stood in front of the mirror as Sarah talked to your other friends, staring at the outfit she had picked out for you. The nerves in your stomach were unbearable, and you couldn't take it, so you started playing some music, knowing you were going to be alone for a good while before the wedding.

While you started sorting through an old photo box, the very first song that played was 'Heather' by Conan Gray, which seemed like the universe's sick way of laughing at you.

I still remember third of December
me in your sweater, you said it looked better
on me, than it did you, only if you knew
how much I liked you, but I watch your eyes

Laughing at you for falling in love with a woman who only saw you as her best friend, laughing at you for not telling anybody the way you felt about her, laughing at the cruelty of having you there to be by her side as she pledged herself to someone else.

Someone you wished was you instead. But wishes never come true, do they?

as she walks by
what a sight for sore eyes
brighter than the blue sky
she's got you mesmerized
while I die

The day she had asked for help confessing her feelings had hurt you in ways words could never explain. It felt like someone tore your heart from your body, put it back in, and stitched you up as you pretended to be okay.

Just seeing her happy with someone else should have made you happy, it was probably wrong to feel this way, but nobody could control the feelings that bubbled up from deep within you.

why would you ever kiss me?
I'm not even half as pretty
you gave her your sweater
it's just polyester
but you like her better
wish I were Heather

An old strip of photos from a trip to the arcade slipped from your hands and onto the wooden floor, and as you sank down to pick it up, tears started welling up in your eyes and it took every ounce of effort to make sure they didn't slip out.

That day was the perfect example of the way things used to be, when it was just you and Sarah against the world. It always felt like anything was possible when you were with her, she was like a drug you couldn't get enough of.

watch as she stands with her holding your hand
put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder
but how could I hate her? she's such an angel
but then again, kinda wish she were dead

But like every high, you had to come down back to the cold, hard reality that she didn't love you. Not in the way you wanted her to, not in the way you needed her to, not in any way other than friends did.

The tears started flowing as you stood back up and tried to pull yourself together, but to no avail. Every night after she had told you how she wanted to ask Holland out, you had cried yourself to sleep, wishing it could've been you instead.

as she walks by
what a sight for sore eyes
brighter than a blue sky
she's got you mesmerized
while I die

Muffling your cries under your hand, you stared at the old polaroid photo you took on your sister's camera at a family gathering, it had been your birthday and she had arranged a party for you.

You wouldn't think someone who made you smile like she did would cause all these tears, but you weren't about to sacrifice their happiness for your own. Your own hopes and dreams had to be given up sometimes to make sure other people's came true.

why would you ever kiss me?
I'm not even half as pretty
you gave her your sweater
it's just polyester
but you like her better
I wish I were Heather

There was no point in crying. You had to put on a brave face and pretend it didn't hurt to see Sarah marry someone else. You had to show up, say a few words as a bridesmaid, and plaster a smile on your face as you kept up the act.

For the rest of your life, you were going to have to see the very first woman you ever loved love another.

wish I were Heather

For the rest of your life, you were going to have to say "I'm happy for you" because you knew that her happiness would never lie with you.

wish I were Heather

Wiping away the last of the many tears that had fallen, you started fixing your make-up and pulling yourself together.

You checked and double-checked your look, walking out of the room once you had finished to your best friend's side, where she took your hand and didn't let go just yet.

why would you ever kiss me?
I'm not even half as pretty
you gave her your sweater
it's just polyester
but you like her better
wish I were

Smiling at you one last time, Sarah let go of your hand and walked down the aisle and out of your life, taking your whole heart with her.

wc : 1107

this wasn't sad enough for my liking,,,

let me know what y'all think, drop requests and feedback !!

- mayesha 🤧