A Lost Object [h.s]

Chapter 47

Aurora

When Harry came back that night, I was ready to confess my feelings to him. I thought long and hard about it and Odyssey was right, face to face would be more affective. Harry and I were back on my bed once again, Odyssey had excused herself to go downstairs. I took a deep breath in, trying to control my emotions.

"I read the letter an-"

Harry had immediately cut me off. "What'd you think of it? My mother said I had to get started on the vows so I just wrote that so you can take a look at it to make sure you agreed with it. Is that good enough for you? Is there something you want me to add or take out?"

"Vows?"

"Yes, for the wedding."

That was a pang to my heart. I knew it was too good to be true. My heart actually hurt from all the rush of pain I was feeling in that short moment. I was once again lost for words. He wasn't confessing his feelings to me. He probably doesn't even have feelings for me. It is all just apart of this fake event. I stood up from the bed walking over to my window so Harry wouldn't see me as I quickly blinked back my tears. "Um, it was good."

"Are you sure? You can add some stuff to it if you want I don't mind."

"I'm sure. It's fine the way it is." I was feeling light headed and emotions I did not want to feel in front of Harry. I promised myself I would never cry in front of him, but he was making it impossible.

"Okay. If you want to do the same I don't mind looking at the vows you wrote, I'm sure they'll be good either way. You can always let me know." He says.

I turned around once I had my feelings in tact, "I'll let you know when I write them. If you'll excuse me, I have to go downstairs." I left the room, no longer wanting to be around him. Why did this hurt more than I actually thought it would? I knew from the start that this was all fake, but I can't seem to get this heavy feeling off my chest.

My mother and Harry's mother were sitting in the living room couch doing their usual wedding plannings. Odyssey sat in the couch opposite of them "Aurora, I actually needed you. Jane and I did some discussing, and we thought it would be best if the bridal bouquet was all white." For my wedding I had envisioned my bridal bouquet to be a very faint pink and white since the color theme of the bridesmaids and maid of honor dresses were pink and blue. Did my envision really matter if I won't even be getting to marry the man that I love?

"It doesn't matter." Odyssey gave me a confused look. I ignored her looks, but took a seat next to her.

"Well alright then I wasn't expecting that" My mother said with relief.

"I was also thinking that we find a new maid of honor and the color for her dress could be black"

"It's a wedding mother not a funeral. Odyssey is my maid of honor that isn't going to change. Seeing as my theme is blue and pink where does the black even fit in? It's a princess inspired wedding mother, black doesn't make sense."

She glanced over at Odyssey, "are you sure you want her to be your maid of honor?"

"I'm sure."

"Fine. What about the groomsmen do you know who they are?"

I shook my head no. I had no idea who Harry's groomsmen were. He doesn't talk about the wedding at all with me. I wondered if he even had groomsmen. It would be a problem if not.

Anne had joined into the conversation, "He has three groomsmen and a best man."

"He needs to have three more since there are six bridesmaids." My mother had told her.

"It'll be difficult to find three more. Harry isn't really close with many guys" It wasn't hard to believe that Harry wasn't close with many people. He didn't seem like the type of person to have many close friends. He was quiet and to himself most of the time.

"What about my brothers Prometheus and Odysseus? I'm sure they wouldn't mind doing it" Odyssey had suggested.

"If they are willing to then yes." I told her. My mother gave me a stern look, but refrained form saying anything. I was surprised honestly. I was expecting her to start going off. We continued to discuss the wedding for another hour or so until we decided to call it a night. I was drained from all the wedding planning. Planning for a wedding I was no longer excited about was the worst thing anyone could go through.

"What happened with Harry?"

I shrugged my shoulders in response to Odyssey's question. I didn't want to relive that moment. It was pain enough the first time, imaging the second time around.

"Did you tell him?"

"No. Turns out that wasn't a confession letter. It was his vows. He wanted me to read it to make sure I liked it."

"Oh. That's harsh. I'm sorry Aurora."

"It's fine really. I don't care much about it anymore. It isn't like I was expecting an epic love with Harry or anything. I just have to keep reminding myself that this is just an arranged marriage and I'll be fine."

"That's not healthy."

"It's what's going to get me through this."

"What about after the wedding? You'll be married to him Aurora, there isn't much of an escape with this" She was right, but I hoped by then Harry would confess to me. I prayed that he would just come clean about having a girlfriend before the wedding so this nightmare can be over. That is what I hope my scapegoat would be. If he admits to it then we wouldn't have to go through this misery. I can continue to live the life I had to put on pause before I met him and he can continue to live the life he wants with the person he loves.