Parted Ways

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

'"Hindi ako ang ama, Solhera!" he then shouted.

I halted. I closed my eyes as the tears finally flowed down.

"If incase you.. you think of that." he said sounding so hurt. "Ngayon tignan mo ako sa mga mata, Solhera. Sabihin mo kung tama ba na hindi ka nakinig sa akin."

I knew it! My baby wouldn't hurt me! But did he really didn't hurt me?

I gasped and tried hard enough not to look at him but my traitor self did looked at him.

I was walking slowly with tears streaming as I tried to catch his hands. "Cade-"

I stopped when he took a step back. He's so near but feels so far.

"Answer me, Solhera." he said in a monotone with eyes screaming pain.

Was the blame really supposed to be on me?

"I'm sorry.. I didn't knew." and then my head held down.

I heard him sniffed.

"Yes, it's because you didn't even tried to hear me out f-first." then I saw his unshed tears slowly fell down.

I don't want to see my baby hurting. What should I do? I want to join and caress him but, would he still let me?

"But you knew.. you knew that I couldn't hurt you, my Solhera."

Why? Where did it went wrong.

If only I did hear him out.

If only I tried enough.

If only I didn't chose myself first.

If.. '

"Aray!" I then glared at the man infront of me who just snapped his hands on my face.

He spread his arms then encircled me with a hug. "Sorry na, Aruzel ko."

Everything, everything feels surreal.

"Ayan ka na naman! Paanong hindi ka mapipitik eh kanina ka pa natutulala." he then pinched my cheeks. "Kinikilig ka d'yan sa pa-bouquet ko ano?"

I smiled.

Yes, I am indeed flattered with this bouquet of white tulips from him.

And, I never thought that I would still be able to accept a bouquet or even a stem of tulip from anyone.

One day I hoped for a sign, a sign that whoever gives me a white tulip, he's the one that would help me get back and move forward. And when someone would, it's the man I'll spend the rest of my life with.

Then here it is.

But I realized, even without these white tulips, I would still choose him and give him a chance.

Ever since he came, I felt freed. I felt more like myself. I felt way better than when I was with my past.

"Aru, smile wide!" he spread his mouth wide using his hands as my reference then he focused his camera on me.

He looked at me then back to his camera after some shots.

"Ang ganda ng mahal ko." I heard him whispered.

I never thought that he'll become this persistent and consistent with me.

"Hey," I then gave him my sweetest smile. "Let's go on the peak side."

He brought me here at Benguet and hell, this is my best escapade so far!

It's good because I really wanted to visit in here and it's the best because I am with him.

"Where do you wanna go next?" he asked while we are waiting for the sun to set.

"Hmm. Anywhere." I answered with close eyes because I am savoring the breeze.

I felt arms getting snaked on my waist from the back.

He sniffed. "How are you now, Aruzel?"

I smiled as if he's able to see it. "What type of question is that? Of course, I am always fine."

I heard him took a deep sigh.

"2 years, dalawang taon na Aruzel, pero bakit hindi ka parin nagpapakita ng kahinaan sa akin?"

Dalawang taon na pala, pero bakit? Bakit parang kahapon lang?

"Handa naman akong maging sandalan mo, kaya kong tiisin lahat." then he sighed again. "Kung pwede lang hilingin na ilipat nalang sa akin lahat ng bigat sa puso mo eh, pero hindi eh, 'tsaka ayaw ko rin, ayaw ko dahil 'yan ang tutulong sa'yo para mabuo mo ang mas malakas na ikaw."

I am lying if I would say that I am over the pain from the past. But I am not lying if I would say that I am happy with the man with me now.

I am beyond blessed for having him at my side.

I never broke down in front of him even though I know he's still gonna be there after.

I never let him see me being weak.

I never let him feel in competition with what I had from then.

But I indeed let him love me as well as I let myself love him.

I opened my eyes and it's already dark. I looked up and saw no Luna on top of me.

I roamed around the sky but then I saw the most beautiful star just beside me, "Thank you."

I'm not really over the pain but I am on the process and I am already over the man who caused me to be in so much pain.

"You are and will always be welcome, Aruzel."

2 years ago, after Kara recovered from her unborn child, another angel came, and that was her angel with Caden.

I was suffering for the same pain over and over again for almost 3 years, I don't wanna remember this day to be the day that hurt me the most anymore, so I am marking this day as the end of my grief.

I guess this is really the time.

I cupped his face. "Asher, no words could express how much I am feeling for you. But please do know, I'm ain't lying and I will never ever be."

Today, I cut my strings off from my past with Caden, and started my present and my future with Asher.