Parted Ways

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Ilang beses kong hiniling na sana kahit ngayon na lang ulit, bumagal manlang sana ang takbo ng oras.

Every now and then, I keep on taking a glance at my watch.

May topak yata talaga ang panahon, kung gaano mo gustong pabagalin ito at tsaka naman bumibilis, gano'n din sa kung kailan mo gustong pabilisin, ang bagal naman nang takbo nito.

The bell rang and everyone already stood up and got ready to go home.

"'Yung totoo?" Farah said suspiciously. "Ha! I know right, naka-tagos ka 'no?"

Kung hindi lang niya pabulong na sinabi 'yon hindi ko alam baka nasabunutan ko na siya.

Padabog akong tumayo habang kinukuha ko ang mga gamit ko sabay walang habas na hinila ko siya para sumama sa akin.

"Oh wala naman pala! Tamad mo, ako pa talaga inutusan mong bumili kanina eh kaya mo naman pala! At hello, nando'n din naman 'yung prince charming mo 'no!"

Sarap tahiin ng bibig nito!

"Pwede bang tumigil ka muna?" I shouted back without looking at her.

Tumigil siya at marahas na inagaw pabalik ang kan'yang kamay.

"Alam mo kanina ka pa eh! Inintindi ko lang! Tapos ngayon hihilain mo nalang basta at sisigaw-sigawan ako? Hindi lang ikaw ang may problema, Aruzel. Sana alam mo 'yan!"

I was left dumbfounded. I was left all alone. No one was there for me.

I kept on hitting myself while lying on my bed.

Lahat ng akala ko ay nanatiling mga akala na lamang.

Akala ko maiintindihan ako ni Farah.

Akala ko darating si Caden.

- Yet they didn't.

I took out a deep breath before checking my phone.

Lalo lang bumigat ang pakiramdam ko nang nakita kong wala ni isang mensahe doon.

So, no one dared to ask me how I'm doing, huh? I smiled bitterly thinking about all those stuffs.

I tried to go downstairs hoping that the presence of my parents would be enough to make me feel good.

I plastered a smile on my face para hindi masyadong halata na masama ang loob ko.

The curve on my lips faded when I saw a note instead of what I've expected.

Grabe naman ang panahon sa akin. Kailangan sabay-sabay?

Asan na 'yung 'I can't bear to not be with her when she needs someone too' mo ha, Caden?

Ikaw naman Farah, sabi mo nand'yan ka lang lagi para sa akin pero ano?

Kayo 'rin Mom and Dad, sabi niyo everytime I have a problem, you got me, yet you're not here!

Sa sobrang inis ko lumabas nalang ako at tsaka tumingala sa langit.

Finally, this one wouldn't leave me.

Wala akong ibang ginawa kundi tumungaga at tumitig sa napaka-gandang buwan.

"You never failed to make me smile and you never fails to shine for m-"

Hindi ko inakala na aagawin ng kadiliman ang tangi kong sandalan sa mga oras na 'to.

Unti-unting tumulo ang mga luha ko habang pinagmamasdan ang blankong pwesto nito.

But then I drifted my attention around the sky, there I saw the beautifully lit up stars up above slowly eaten by the dark too.

Realization hit me up.

Hindi lang sa atin umiikot ang mundo. Hindi lang tayo ang may pinagdaraanan. At higit sa lahat, hindi lang sa atin malupit ang tadhana.

Maybe I haven't noticed it because I treated them like the stars, only the supporting ones. Meanwhile, I treated myself like the moon.

I treated myself like the moon to the point that I didn't cared for them anymore. I focused on me, shining brightly. I just noticed them when my light faded to ask for help without knowing that they experiences it too. Maybe they bursted out and just chose to choose themselves first too.

Maybe I was really too selfish.

With that, I decided to make up with them tomorrow. To finally bring things back to the way it used to be and I should start to stop the blaming.

When the moon showed up again, another realization hit me.

I smiled weakly with that thought.

Ngayon lang naman ako nagka-ganito pero bakit parang ako pa'rin 'yung mali? Ako naman lagi ang nagsasakripisyo para sa kanila ah.

Bakit parang mali na maging ganito ako kahit minsan lang?

Bakit parang wala akong karapatan?

I can't believe this thing crossed my mind.

Ayoko nang masaktan. Kung saan sila masaya, kung saan aayos ang lahat, kung ano ang makakapag-pagaan ng loob nila, gagawin ko. Ako nalang. Ako nalang ulit.

I finally stood up.

My love for them is greater than what I'm feeling right now. I'm decided. I'll do what I think is the right thing to do.

"I promise to choose them over and over again," I vowed to the moon.

"But only until I can." I only managed to whisper it because I don't think I can say it aloud anymore with all those things I've felt and realized earlier.