I guess the evil part of being human that we were took someone else's hapiness for granted. Rather than making connection we've been buried into facts that without no new environment we will be nothing more than ashes. We couldn't feel happy without taking anything from anyone.
In order to survive, human always pretend like they were a good person but as soon you lurking into another sight, they stabbed you. With a sharp knight, harsh words. Even lover do that sometimes.
I learned so many things in this forms, people just didn't accept me as who I am. I'm nothing for them and turning backs on me it's definetely a thing. I'll appreaciate if there's anyone would take me out from this reality, or this world as me. I didn't happy, I only pretend I am happy and satisfied but nothing more. There's no words I guess, being me is a filthy rotten flesh that would smell so bad from18 feets.
***
I think I understand, why people trying so hard to fit in in this world. Being nonsense with people it's good rather being lonely with nobody around. Talking to the mirror, watching myself breakdown in the toilets everytime I take a breathe, it's one hella experience.
God, do you watch me falling down everytime I came into my room? Crying in silence, wishing there's a miracle to undo all the mistake I made. Maybe if I could go back, I would never force myself to that satan circles. I lost the game, I lost everything. Hapiness, my charms, my smile. I mean nothing to this world.
Everybody thinking I'm a loser, maybe they are right. I'm loser for hoping there's someone who definetely think I am worth their time.
KAMU SEDANG MEMBACA
1095 Days, The 18 Lover
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