Philophobia//Ziam

>>9<<

It has been three days since Zayn had asked him about his past and Liam is this thinking he hasn't been able to sleep much since he asked

today liam is going to tell Zane why he has Philophobia or at least what he thinks he is Philophobia

"Hey, Zayn" Liam knocks on zayn's door slowly as he is honestly shaking with fear for what is about to happen

"Come in" Zayn said sounding somewhat confused but also exactly how Liam expected him to sound considering it was pretty early in the morning on a Sunday

"Umm, I wanted to talk" Liam says slowly as he opens the door & walks into zayn's room closing the door behind him

"About?" Zayn almost sounds angry but also a little bit worried

"My past" Liam says getting straight to the point

An "Oh" is all Zayn seems to be able to muster out

"Um, yeah so please just don't interrupt me this may take a little while" Liam said sitting next to Zayn on the bed

"Ok" Zayn says sort of lost for words

———-

"Ok, well it started when I was about 14 my two older sisters were married off living there own lives & it was just me, mum & dad. Mum & dad they were so I love the classic young cheesy lovers stereotype they met in high school started going out after a few years & then a few years later got married & had kids. but then after my sisters left something changed inside of dad like a switch had gone off he started drinking a lot & then he started to abuse mum, I still remember the first time I heard my mum scream out of fear I thought she must have seen a mouse or something but later after looking at her bruises I realised what must have happened happened" Liam takes a breathe & lets a tear fall down his cheek as he continues his story Zayn is already in awe of the story he doesn't want to interrupt or even ask questions so Liam takes a if & deep inhale before starting again

Then he started abusing me it was quick & light but it still hurt more mentally then anything else though

I found an escape in Alcohol even before I was of legal age I used to sneak into my dads old drinking cabinet and take one of the bottles that are yet to be drunk and then smashed over him or his mother 

Then I would have to seat at the table with my parents pretending that everything was ok when nothing ever was

I still remember when we were that Stereotypical happy family back when ruth and Nicole still lived at home but the love and warmth in the house and the family seems to had left with the two older girls

I watched his parent's marriage fall about and my parents who had nothing but heart eyes towards each other turn into each other's worst enemy

& the cherry on top was my fiancée who was my favorite person in the world we were high school sweethearts the couple everyone else wanted to be & we loved each so very much or at least that's what I thought before she left me for my ex-best friends older brother because he had more money & was a bit older then me

So I suppose that tells you why I'm so messed up with this stupid philophobia" Liam finishes Zayn knew Liam's life must've been though but he had no idea & was actually speechless So he sort of mumbles a yeah & then Liam gets up to leave he opens the door but before walking through it turns back to Zayn to say

"& I think I'm gay" before closing the door leaving o Zayn in a weird state of shock

——-
I after telling Zayn Liam some how feels better he feels lighter maybe his just relieved he try's. Or to think about it to much though not wanting his philophobia to start

He thinks about his life though he knows his story isn't exactly hard to believe but it is hard for Liam to understand his life was practically perfect he thinks

The stereotypical family sure they fought but it was over small things that didn't actually matter liam thought he decided that alcohol was most likely to blame

Before having a quick shower & going to bed
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It had been three days since Liam had told Zayn about his past & they weren't avoiding each other on purpose they had simply just missed each other as one went out the door today was one of the ose day's as Zayn leaves the house to go to work liam gets up claiming his going to be late again & he needs something

"What is going on with you & Zayn" Harry asked flipping the pancakes on the stove

"Nothing" Liam said defensively

"There's something going on I haven't seen you two in the same room for like a week" Louis said exaggerating like he always does

"Not on purpose we just miss each other" Liam said thinking about it he wasn't all the way lying he wasn't avoiding Zayn he thought although he did thank god that they had managed to just miss each other

Every time Liam thinks about Zayn he gets this weird feeling which only causes him to freak out & break into a fit of sweat & losing control of his breath

"That's not true" Harry stated
"What happened?" Louis asked

"Nothing happened, for some reason I told him about my past thats all but I haven't been avoiding him we just miss each other" Liam says in an annoyed tone

"You did what?" Louis asked shocked that Liam would be so open to someone particularly Zayn

"I told him about Mum & Dad & about my fiancée" Liam said as if it was obvious before getting a pancake from Harry & leaving the house to go gods knows where

Leaving a very confused Louis & a very worried Harry

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A/N please comment on any spelling mistakes! Thanks for reading remember to vote & comment 🥰