The Virgin Outcast Who Stole the Emperor's Heart

Chapter 53

Chapter 53 - Anniversaries

I'd known that my thoughts are now different from when I was too young to now, but It had never changed on aunty Yi's death.

I was nine when it happened, but I didn't pay much attention to it then ...you can call it me being a little bit too young to understand life but know this, although I was nine, my heart was that of an adult.

I can still remember crying on Yoon's shoulder while cursing Aunt Yi for leaving me alone in this pathetic world, I called her stupid because her reason for killing herself was that of a man Nam Joo-hyuk who doesn't give a damn about her and till now that same man is living his life to the fullest and the worst part is, he isn't even present today ..today that's her anniversary.

Although then I wished nothing but death, I still thought her reason's for dying are pathetic and I'm actually glad that I didn't kill myself because if I had, I wouldn't have meet my husband and I wouldn't have get to know that father is indeed a traitor and a cheater, neither would i have meet my brother.

Life is full of surprises.

Aunt Yi is the only relative from my husband side who loved me no matter what, even when they found out father's crime, she still accepted me and took very care of me ..she made me survive that moment. She made me see life in a world full of death, she'd told me everything including her relationship with Nam Joo-hyuk ..how he abandoned her on their wedding day.

I thought she would survive the pain, she had looked so strong that day when she was pouring her heart out to me on how she feels about pain and how we should always learn to survive no matter what. Her words were my comfort but they weren't hers even though they came from her.

This exact day marks the day and the exact year, to the day since you left this world ..leaving me angry, hurt and full of unanswered questions but like they said, you can never truly understand what one is feeling ..unless you're in that person's shoes.

I know I've never said this before, whenever it's your anniversary but that's because i never forgave you, I was angry ..why would you tell me to live and then you went ahead and died at your own will?

I do know now, although not fully ..but I have forgiven you.

"Rest in peace aunt Yi Nayong" I said as I wipe my eyes off the tears it has and fight the unshed ones which are threatening to fall then stand and walked to my waiting husband, who is already done with his own tribute and is sitting down on a chair nearby.

"Are you ok? He asked now standing then he pull me to him when I begin crying all over again.

"Do you want to stay a little longer?." He asked when it seems like I couldn't keep my tears at bay. I nod my head yes and he said to me that he will be at his farm if I need him then he left.

I sit down on the now empty chair and begin trying to stop my falling tears but I just couldn't.

"I miss her, I miss them both." I said to Jandi who's now hugging me to her.

"We all do, lady Nana ..they're both great women."

"Are you with everything? I asked Jandi as I stand up but she shakes her head no and I called Min Yonghwan over and said to him to go get the forgotten Items that Jandi didn't bring along with her then I grab Jandi hand and begin walking out.

When my eyes met Sangyun, I wanted so much to cause him out for all the troubles he made me go through but I swallowed it because I don't want to cause a scene but it seems like it's not the same for Sangyun because immediately I begin walking pass him, he grab my hand so tightly.

Let me go Sangyun, you're hurting me!" I yell at him in pain but he isn't listening and his mother is a stone throw away from where this is happening but she is doing nothing, she isn't trying to stop her son and I'm actually not surprised.

I tried pulling my hands away from his but that makes the pain worst. I look up at him trying to know what his problem is but I just can't get anything out of him.

"Quit fighting me Kim Nana and I just might let you go." He said sounding like a lunatic that he really is.