X suicidal reader (One shots) (Requests Closed) (On Hold)

Kuroo Tetsurou X Suicidal! Reader

I felt like the message isn't strong enough, but i really wanted to use a diary format.

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Kuroo walked into your room. His eyes immediately landed on your school bag which was zipped open.

He walked to it and he was about to close it when he saw a (F/C) book. The lock was open. He opened it and realized that it was your diary. Usually, he'd mind your privacy, but something bad happened and he needed to know what it was.

He turned the pages to a week prior.

11 October

I went to the hospital today. My mother forced me to go because I was coughing. The doctor told me to stop cutting because the pencil sharpener I'm using could give me an infection. I've tried to stop cutting, but I can't.

My dad took away my phone when he heard I was cutting. He took my laptop too. He said it's influencing me, but I don't know how I'll cope without them, they're the only things keeping me sane.

I cried, i couldn't talk to anyone and I had no music to understand me. I've never felt more alone.

12 October

It's my fault. I made Kuroo upset today. He asked if I wanted to go on a date with him. We are dating and I really like spending time with him. I said No. I said that I didn't have time for him. He looked sad. I couldn't bare it, I ran away.

I should have said yes, but I know as much as I love him, he'll find out that I cut myself. I wish I was smart; I would be able to hide it from him or rather I wish I was beautiful. My mother told me that I should fix my hair and wash my face.

Even my grandpa called me ugly after I visited. I hadn't seen him in 4 months and that'd the first thing he said. Kuroo deserves someone better. He's way out of my league. I don't understand what he sees in me. He's so handsome and tall. He's the smartest guy I know, and his science facts are interesting.

I'm plain, boring. I draw, but that's all. I'm not even good. Every time I draw Kuroo and show it to him, he smiles and tries to do the pose I drew him in. It's funny, but I know he's trying to distract me so that he doesn't have to tell me how ugly I drew him.

I think I'm going to break up with him tomorrow. I'll only continue to hurt him and ruin his reputation.

13 October

I broke up with Kuroo. I struggled whole day to tell him. I spoke to Kenma about it. He didn't understand at all. I told him it was to stop embarrassing Kuroo. He told me that Kuroo wasn't embarrassed of me, but I know the truth. Kuroo can't stand to be around me. He's just tolerating me for now.

I broke up with Kuroo after school. He told me to stay, to not leave him, but I ran, I couldn't bear it anymore. I felt bad. I cut myself. I deserve all the pain. I need to be punished. I am a horrible person. I cut a vein. My parents rushed me to the hospital. I got stitches on my wrist. I'm at the hospital right now.

14 October

15 October

16 October

17 October

I finally got my diary back, my mom took it after I got to the hospital. She said that i need to talk to her and dad instead of a diary. I tried to, but they yelled at me. I told them that i wanted to die, that i didn't ask to be born. My dad hit me.

Kuroo visited me. We hugged and I didn't realize until then that I missed him so much. I still love him. Kenma came with him and we spoke about everything. I'm happy to have friends like them. I don't deserve them at all, but now that i have them i don't want to lose them.

I hate myself even more for breaking up with Kuroo. When Kenma left, I told him. Kuroo told me that I didn't have to feel bad and that he and Kenma would always be there to help me.

18 October

Kuroo said that he was coming over today. I told him no, but he insisted. i was planning to cut today and he ruined my plans. Maybe It's for the better though.

Kuroo put your diary down. Tears rolled down his cheeks. Your bedroom door opened, and he turned around.

"Kuroo?" You asked, confused. He ran to you and hugged you tightly.

"I thought -" He stuttered. He needed to hold you. He couldn't bear the thought of losing you. He cupped your cheeks and kissed you.

He kissed you with all the passion and love he had for you. It was overwhelming, your legs melted so Kuroo picked you up and wrapped your legs around him.

You held onto him as tightly as you could as you kissed him back. He pulled away from the kiss and you pressed your foreheads against each other's.

"I love you so much. I don't care if we stay friends, just please. I want to look after you, to make you happy again. I can't bear the thought of you dying. Of you leaving me. I'll do everything I can to stop you from cutting or killing yourself again." He said.

You thought about it. You always wanted to stop cutting, but you couldn't. Maybe Kuroo was your ticket out of this hell you lived in everyday. You and Kuroo were both in college, maybe you could move in together and move away from your controlling parents.

You nodded. "Yes. I want a better life. Thank you." You said and hugged Kuroo tightly. He smiled and hugged you.

He grabbed my wrist and held it out. He pulled up my sleeves and kissed my scars. It hurt like crazy, but he was trying to make me feel better.

"I'll look after you, I promise." He said and smiled.

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Words : 1033