Happy Ending | Soonhoon

thirty four

"ah... first love?"

Natawa si Jeonghan hyung sa sinabi ko. Mukhang gulat pa siya sa na hindi ko alam na may first love si Jihoon.

"Naniwala ka naman."

Soonyoung was left in disbelief. He knew he shouldn't have taken Jeonghan and his tricky words seriously.

"Kidding aside, he's just visiting Soonjae I guess. After all, he's the reason why he's there." Tumaas ang isang kilay ni Soonyoung sa nakatatanda. Jeonghan's eyes were fixated elsewhere.

Soonyoung wanted to know more but Jeonghan ended their conversation saying his break time is up. Wala nang nagawa si Soonyoung, nagpaalam na lamang siya at umalis na.

While walking back to his house, patuloy na naglalaro sa kaniyang isipan ang pinag-usapan nila kanina. The mysterious Soonjae's still the reason why he's feeling uneasy. If only he could ask Jihoon directly- No,  if he have the balls to ask that. 

Soonyoung kicked the untouched stones on the ground. The streetlights guided him towards the direction of his house. Ginabi na siya, he have to walk deeper on the area kaya inabot na siya ng dilim and also because of the traffic. However, he didn't expect that someone's waiting for him. Nakatungo siya't naglalakad.

He halted when he saw a pair of white ragged sneakers in front if him. Napaangat ang kaniyang ulo at nakita si Jihoon. He's still wearing their uniform. Nakasilid ang dalawang kamay nito sa mga bulsa ng kaniyang blazer. Taas-kilay na tinitigan nito si Soonyoung.

"Oh."

Kumunot ang noo ni Jihoon. He pulled out his right hand ang smacked Soonyoung's head. The lad grimaced.

"If you have questions, you should've asked me instead of disturbing others." Ani Jihoon at muling sinapak si Soonyoung sa kaniyang noo. Napahimas sa kaniyang noo si Soonyoung at lumayo, nag-aakalang baka makatanggap na naman siya ng sapak.

"Sinabi ni hyung?" pagku-kwestyon nito sa kaniya.

"Nah, I saw you guys earlier."

Soonyoung narrowed his eyes at him. "Sinusundan mo lang ata ako eh," pangtutukso nito sa binata. Jihoon rolled his eyes.

"And what if I am?" sagot nito sa kaniya.

Sa ilalim ng buwan, sa daanang tahimik, at walang katao-tao naroon nakatayo ang isang kamatis na Soonyoung habang nakatingin kay Jihoon.

"Bakit mo naman ako sinusundan?"

Jihoon shrugged his shoulders. Instead of responding he grabbed Soonyoung's arm and dragged him towards the park which was a few blocks away from Soonyoung's house. Umupo silang pareho sa swing. Soonyoung took of the scarf he's wearing and handed it to Jihoon.

"Ano 'to?"

"Suotin mo, halatang giniginaw ka. Ilang oras mo akong hinintay?"

"Roughly 30 minutes. Hindi pa naman ako ganoon ka giniginaw." sagot ni Jihoon sa kaniya, subalit hindi nakatakas sa mga mata ni Soonyoung ang panginginig ng mga daliri ng binata.

Tumayo siya at lumapit kay Jihoon. He wrapped the midnight blue colored scarf around Jihoon's neck. Nakatingala lang si Jihoon sa kaniya at tahimik na pinagmamasdan siya.

"Mahal mo na ba ako?" tanong ni Soonyoung sa kaniya as soon as his hand left the cloth.

He expected that Jihoon would look away but the lad remained looking at him. It's as if he was intentionally doing it without minding what he just said. "Baka ikaw itong mahal na mahal ako." sagot ni Jihoon sa kaniya.

Soonyoung was again left flustered by his response. Napaupo si Soonyoung, his hands were on Jihoon's knees. Nakatungo si Soonyoung at ang kaniyang mga mata'y nasa damo. "Lasing ka ba? Bakit ang bait-bait mo ngayon?" tanong ni Soonyoung sa kaniya.

"Hindi ako uminom."

Soonyoung lifted his head and stared at Jihoon's face. Nang dahil sa malamig na temperatura, namumula na rin ang pisngi ni Jihoon. "Kininikilig ako," saad ni Soonyoung. "Sana ikaw rin." dagdag pa nito.

Jihoon raised a hand. Soonyoung thought that Jihoon would again smack his head or arm, however, what he felt was a hand smoothly running on his hair. Jihoon's petting his head.

"Hindi ako kinikilig." monotone na pagkakasagot ni Jihoon.

"Tangina, ako itong mamamatay na sa kilig."

"Over acting ka."

They stayed in that position for a few seconds. Hinawakan ni Soonyoung ang kamay ni Jihoon para pahintuin na ito. Baka mahimatay siya sa sobrang kilig. Bumalik na sa kabilang swing si Soonyoung.

"I didn't intend to follow you earlier. I was just about to visit Jeonghan hyung pero naunahan mo ako. I got curious what you guys are talking about, kaya hindi ko sinasadyang mag eavesdrop. Ako pala ang pinag-uusapan ninyo."

"You're curious about Soonjae? Didn't I tell you to forget about that name?" tanong ni Jihoon sa kaniya.

Soonyoung nodded with a sigh. He knew Jihoon won't be happy with him sticking his nose with the lad's private life.

"Imbes na kalimutan ko, mas lalo akong binabagabag."

"I guess it's my fault for telling you that. I should've known that you would get curious even more." Jihoon said and sighed as well.

Nanahimik silang pareho. Hindi na tuloy alam ni Soonyoung kung ano ang gagawin. They were silent until Jihoon spoke up.

"Soonjae's a son of a family-friend. Just like what you heard earlier, kasalanan ko kung bakit siya nandoon. That hospital is known for treating patients with cancer, he was diagnosed with brain cancer. Na trigger nang dahil sa akin, sa nagawa ko, sa ginawa ko."

"Everytime I have a chance, I would visit him. My conscience is eating me up. Nang malaman ko kung ano ang nangyare sa kaniya araw-araw akong binabagabag. Hindi ako mapakali. Sinisisi ko ang sarili ko. Maybe if I didn't bring him with me that time, he wouldn't be in his current state. Maybe if I refused him as hard as I could, he could've lived his life to the fullest knowing how carefree he is."

"Soonjae... if only I could bring back the time I could've saved him."

Bakas sa boses ni Jihoon ang pagsisisi. Soonyoung stared at his side profile, nakatingala si Jihoon sa langit. His eyes were fixated on the lad's face. Mapait na nakangiti si Jihoon sa kalangitan.

"Sana ako na lang at hindi siya."

Sa mga salitang iyon, hindi lang si Jihoon ang basag kundi pati na rin siya.

"Tsk!"

Napalingon si Jihoon sa kaniya, Soonyoung didn't say a word. Tumayo siya't pumunta sa harapan ni Jihoon. He lowered his body and closed the gap between them. Soonyoung bumped his head onto Jihoon's which made the younger glare at him.

"Don't say that. Everything has a reason. Hindi ko man kilala si Soonjae, but I know neither of you wanted this to happen."

Nakapikit ang mga mata ni Soonyoung jya hindi niya nakita ang malambot na mga titig sa kaniya ni Jihoon.

"Isa pa, paano na ako kung ika—"

He interrupted him with a kiss.

———