Too Good For You

sixteen

Billie
April 8th, 2020

"Why're you so jittery?" I ask Sada looking over at her on the other end of the couch fiddling with her hands.

"I'm not jittery," she says avoiding my eyes, clearly lying. I nod not wanting to pry and letting her process what she needs to say. Claudia and I talked the night before about everything which really gave me a new outlook on what Sada was saying.

My reactions are the reason why she doesn't confide in me and tell me the truth. She feels like no matter what she says or how she says it, I'm going to lash out on her and cause an argument. So, I'm going to let her process whatever she's feeling and give her time to say it. Whatever it is, I'll try to keep a calm voice and not jump down her throat about it.

"Do you want to order food?" I ask looking over at her noticing the oversized hoodie I'd never seen before. "Where'd you get this from?"

"It's Kevin's. We can order something if you want. Pick what you want I'm not really hungry." She mumbles, keeping her eyes on the tv. I pull my phone out and open Doordash scrolling through some restaurants. I settle on this sushi restaurant and order a few different rolls for us.

"Sushi good? I don't know why I'm asking, sushi is always good for you." I chuckle trying to break the awkwardness but frown when she just gives me a fake smile. "Are you alright baby?"

She blows out a breath and rubs her wrist with her thumbs. She looks down at her legs and then back over at me with tears in her eyes. "I uh— I kissed Ally," An awkward silence engulfs the room and I feel a swirl of emotions at once. I open my mouth to speak but remember my conversation with Claudia and Finn last night.

"You know she loves you Billie," She says, closing through cupboard and pilling rice onto her plate.

"She wouldn't keep lying to me if she did," I frown spinning on the bar stool.

"She lies to you because of how you react—"

"That's bullshit," I grumble cutting her off.

"It is not! I've heard you two argue before. You blow up so fast before she can get a word out. You jump to conclusions and the argument doesn't get resolved."

"That's after I catch her in a lie! If she didn't lie I wouldn't blow up on her,"

"Back to what I said before. Why does she lie to you?"

"Because she chooses to rather than tell me the truth and says hurtful things after I get mad at her for lying." I grumble swinging my feet. Finneas chuckles at the dinning room table, clacking the keys on his Macbook. "What's so funny carrot top?"

"Claudia's right," I smack my lips and wave him
off. "Billie, you're not even taking accountability. Do you see how you didn't mention anything you do in the arguments?" I bite the inside of my cheek and frown. "Exactly,"

I spin back around in my chair just as Claudia puts a plate of food in front of me. She walks around the island and gives Finneas his, kissing him before she comes back to make her own food.

"Next time Sada says something you don't like or during an argument try to stay calm and let her talk. Give her time to process her emotions." She pats my shoulder and walks to the dining room
table to sit with Finneas.