Unspoken Past (Completed)

Sana is heartbroken

    Sana must of dozed off. She has cried and cried. How can they do this to me. How can they take me for a fool. I will never forgive them both. I feel everything was a lie now. These thought has brought fresh tears to her eyes. She could hear the door bell ringing somewhere far. It started ringing again. But it felt near now. She woke up to it and realised it was the door bell of her flat, which was ringing for a long time. Who was it?? She didn't wanted to get up. Let whoever it is go back, she thought. But the bell didn't stop ringing. She now got up and dragged herself to the door. She opened it to find Sid standing in the doorway. Black t- shirt and blue jeans. She hadn't expected him to come here so soon. She knew they would track her down, but did not think it would be so soon. She did not invite him in.
Sana: Siddharth yaha se chala jaa. Mujhe nhi baat karni hai tujse.
Sid: Sana bahot thak gaya hu. Andar aane de mujhe.
    Sana looked at him. Lines of tiredness could be seen on his face. She stepped back and let him in. He walked inside looking around. There was a sofa kept in the far corner of the Hall. He went and sat there.
Sid: Pani milega??
     Sana brought a bottle and glass from the kitchen and pour him a glass. Sana went and stood near the window, turning away from him. Why was he here now?? He had not been true to her. She was not going to forgive him. She could feel him come near her.
Sid: Baby....
Sana: Tu sach me bahot accha actor hai. Kya acting karta hai tu. Par mai confused hu. Tune nau saal pehle taniya ke sath ke the, vo acting the, ya mere sath ab kar raha hai vo acting hai.
Sid: Sana baat ko samaj. Tu choti the uss waqt, tere papa tere leye concerned the, mai concerned tha.
Sana: Mana mai choti the par sach bata, kya mera pyar tuje jhuta ya infatuation wala laga tha?? Mere papa ne tujse kuch kaha to tum dono ne milke mere leye faisla le leya. Sahi hai bhai. Thek kiya. Mere papa apne beti ke leye concerned the aur tune soccha, chalo mera isse piccha chut raha hai, isse bahane to mai unko promise kar deta hu. Mai bada bhi ban jaaunga aur meri jaan bhi chut jaayegi. Hai na??
Sid: Sana mai bhi tujse pyaar karta tha yaar. In fact karta hu. Pichle nau saal mere leye bhi aasaan nhi the.
Sana: Vah jo cheez mai hamesha sunna chahti the vo tune aaj boli. Par aaj jhut lag rahi hai mujhe. Are ek baat bata jo tu bol raha hai ke mai choti the, kya mai hamesha choti he rahi?? Badi nhi hue?? Tune mujhe aakar baad me batane ke koshish kyu nhi ke?? Tu to keh raha hai tu mujse pyaar, karta tha. To tu ek baar bhi mujse, baat karne nhi aaya?? Agar tere leye yeh saal mushkil hote na siddharth, to tu muje paane ke koshish karta. Tune kabhi bhi mere taraf apna kadam nhi badaya. Aur agar badaya to majburi me badaya. Ek baar, mere zidd karne par, jab maine tuje kuch dino ke leye apna hone ko kaha. Aur dusre baar mujse shaadi karne ke leye.
Sid: Sana hum dono me age gap ke wajah se bhi mai thoda peeche hatt gaya tha baby.
Sana: To age gap ab nhi hai?? Ya kam ho gaya??
Sid: Sana tu meri baat samaj na baby. Mujhe laga....
Sana: Tujhe laga?? Tune soocha. Sab tune he kiya. Faisla bhi tune he liya. Meri marzi ke baare me na soocha, na pucha. Tujhe kya pata tere thukraye jaane ke baad mera kya haal hua?? Tune kabhi pata lagane ke koshish ke?? Tune mujhe dusre koi aadmi ke leye kharaab kar diya. Kisiko apne dil me jagah de he nhi paayi. Kaash mai tujse kabhi pyaar he nhi karti Siddharth. Kash tuje apne dil se nikaal fek paati. Zindagi aasaan hoti meri.
Sid: Pyaar to maine bhi tujse kiya?? Tadpa to mai bhi na Sana tere leye??
Sana: Sach bolu, mujhe na ab iss cheez se koi farak nhi pad raha. Tere izhaar karne pe khushi bhi nhi ho rahi hai. Tu jaa yaha se Siddharth. Mai tere sath nhi rehna chahti ab.
Sid: Aise mat kar baby. Jo nau saal pehle hua, tere sath vo galat hua. Maanta hu. Par ab hum ek sath kitne khush hai....
Sana: Siddharth, mujhe ek baat bata, tune mujhe mai jab waapas aayi, tab kyu nhi bataya yeh sab kuch?? Tu kehta hai na tu pyaar, karta hai mujse nau saal pehle se, fir tune jab mai pari ke shaadi ke leye aayi yeh sab baate kyu nhi boli?? Nahi tu jhut bol raha hai. Tu mujse pehle se pyaar karta he nhi hai. Mai tujpe kud padi Mumbai aane ke baad, aur apna hone ko kaha. Tune soocha, iske saath chance maarlu, jab yeh khud he khud ko plate me rakh kar de rahi hai to kyu na mauke ka fayda uthaya jaaye. Thode maze kar lu. Vaise tune to pehle he bol diya tha ke tu mera nhi ho sakta. To free me bagair koi mehnat ke mil raha tha to kyu nhi. Hai na??
Sid: Agar mere maa baba ne mujhe ladkiyon ke izzat karna nhi sikhaya hota na to mai aaj tujhe iska jawaab ek zor ka tamacha maar kar deta. Shhee. Tu kitna ganda sochti hai mere baare me. Aur yaad kar, mujhe tujse shaadi karne ke leye kisi ne majbur nhi kiya tha
Sana: Ganda nhi sahi hai yeh. Tuje aaj yaad aaya ke tu mujhe pyaar karta hai?? Itne din kyu nhi bola. Aur rahi shaadi ke baat, to tuje mahaan banne ka shauk hai. Vo mahaan banne ke chakkar me tere gale me yeh boj pad gaya hai.
Sid: Sana teri kya sooch hai na mere baare me?? Wah. Mai yaha aaya tha ke tuje mana ke le jaau. Par jab tu itna bura mujhe samjti hai to mai tuje majbur nhi karunga. Mere ghar aur dil ka darwaza tere leye hamesha khula rehega. Jab agar mann kare to chali aana. Tuje shikaayat hai na ke sab faisle maine kiye?? Ab iske aage ke hum dono ke zindagi ke faisle mai tujpe chod raha hu. Tuje jo karna hai tu kar. Agar aana chahe to tera faisla. Agar mujhe chodna chahe to tera faisla. Aur tera har faisla manzur hoga mujhe.
      He turned and left the house and she sat there on the floor feeling numb. She is not wrong. It was because of his decision she had endured so much of pain. She is not going to forgive him. He doesn't know what she had gone through. She had wanted him so much she had carved for him so much. . If he claims to love her, as much as she does, he would have tried having her for himself. Did he ever take the first step. Agreed she was small, when he promised his dad. But he could have come to her later. He had seen her in Canada, why did he not come and talk to her then. She had given herself to him. He was her first. Why did he not claim his love then. Now when I came to know the truth he comes here and says he loves me?? I don't want his love, nor him. She told herself.
     It's been a week. Sid has not called nor had she to him. Sana has gone home, packed her things and come back to mohali. Her papa has tried speaking to her, but she had not said a word. She had told her mother, she needed time to think all this over and had left home. She had called Maa. Talking to Maa always soothes her mind It calms her down. Maa asked her when she was coming back and she has changed the topic.
    The uneasiness has increased since she had come here. She didn't feel like eating anything and felt nauseous. She thought it was because of her state of mind. She would sit in the balcony for hours thinking, not knowing what her future holds for her. She was once sitting in the balcony when a message popped on her screen from Sid.
Sid: Vo show jiske baare me maine bola tha, ke vo hum dono ko as a host lena chahte hai, uska offer aaya hai?? Kya karna hai.
Sana: Mai mana kar dungi.
Sid: Thek hai.
     He didn't ask her how she was?? She cried and cried. Little things were making her cry nowadays. She cried when she spoke to her mummy. She even cried when she spill the milk one day. Pari had also called, but she didn't take it. She was not in a mood to listen Pari taking her brother's side and explaining things to her.
    Sana woke up one morning and her head started spinning when she tried to get up. She lay back again, closing her eyes shut tightly. She got up and felt nauseous again. She rushed to the washroom and threw up. What was happening?? She needs to see the doctor soon. Why was she so restless all the time. Then something clicked. She had not got her periods since she has got married. Three months?? She has not noticed, because hers were always irregular. But this is something different. She felt sweat started to collect on her upper lip and her palms. Was she pregnant?? Oh God. She had never given it a thought. She again fell like throwing up and rushed to the bathroom. She came out all drained out and exhausted and came and lay on the bed. Covered her face in the pillow and cried her heart out. She was missing Siddharth. But she will not call him. He has not called and spoken to her even once since he left. She got up and took a pen and a paper. Told the maid who came to cook and clean to bring her what ever is written from the medical. The maid brought and gave it to Sana. She took it to the bathroom. Her body was shivering. She knew the result. She knew she was Pregnant. But she just wanted to confirm. And yes it was confirmed. She was Pregnant. She and Sid were going to have a baby.