Unspoken Past (Completed)

Sid's Confession.

     Sid had come by lunch time. They had, had lunch together. They had gone to eat Chinese that night. Sana wanted to eat Chinese food. Sid has booked a table in the town's best Chinese restaurant. He wanted to give everything best to his most beautiful wife. They had sat in the quite corner of the restaurant. Sana was wearing black and pink plated frock with a low v neckline. She had tied up her hair in a pony tail and was looking bewitching. Sid couldn't take his eyes off her since they had left the house. He had complimented her and she had gone pink.
Sid: Tu jab aise sharmati hai na,to mera dil zor zor se dhadakne lagta hai.
Sana: Aur tu jab yeh bolta hai na baby to mujhe sharam aati hai.
Sid: Hayeee, meri jaan.
He took her in his arms and kissed her forehead. They then climbed in the car to leave for the restaurant. They were sitting enjoying the music and each other's company. Sana suddenly seemed lost somewhere.
Sid: Oyee... Kya hua hai?? Kaha khoi hai tu??
Sana: Kuch nhi?? Aise he??
Sid: Aise he kaise?? Baby tere dil me dimag me jo bhi khayaal aaye, vo sab mujhe pata hona chahiye. Vo mera haq hai.
Sana: Agar aisa hai to tune mujhe, pichle nau saal me tu ne kya kiya, vo bhi to mujhe nhi bataya. Kya mera haq nhi hai??
    Sid went quite suddenly.
Sana: Yeh dekh. Tu mujhe kuch na bataye. Aur mai sab share karu??
Sid: Bata tu kya jaan na chahati hai??
Sana: Sab kuch. Bata tujhe kab pata chala ke tu mujhse pyar karta hai. Aur tune kya kiya nau saal mujhe apne se dur karne ke baad??
     Sid looked at her trying to find words. He then looked away, running his hand through his hair. A shudder ran through his body. Talking about those dreadful years was so painful. But he will have to lay his heart out in front of Sana. She has every right to know. And bringing all this in open will bring them more closer to each other. He thought. The waiter arrived at that moment with their drinks. They both had ordered fruit juice. Sana has asked him to order any other  drink if he wishes too, but he has refused. He was already intoxicated with the beauty in front of him. He did not need any more intoxication. He looked at Sana, taking a sip from his juice.
Sid: Tujhe yaad hai ek din raat me hum icecream khaane gaye the aur vo ladko ne tere se badtameezi ke the?? Unme se ek ne tujhe jiss tarah se pakda tha, mere dil me aag lag gayi the. Agar tu mujhe us waqt awaaz na deti to mai usse maar daalta Sana. Aur jab tune mujhe aawaz lagai aur maine tere chehra dekha. Vo dari hue, sehmi hue Sana ko mai saare duniya ke dard aur takleef se bacchana chahta tha. Tu roo rahi the aur tujhe rulane wale ko mai jaan se maarna chahta tha. Fir usse raat tu aakar mere baaho me so gayi. Mai tujhe bahot der tak dekhta raha. Mujhe darr lag raha tha khud se, kyuki mai jo feel kar raha tha tere leye vo mere hisaab se uss waqt sahi nhi tha. Tu ek sixteen years ke bacchi the. Tab kasam kha ke kehta hu Sana mujhe laga ke bhaag jaau vaha uss kamre se. Tujse dur. Par fir dil kiya ke bass aise he zindagi bhar tujhe dekhta rahu. Mera dil jaanta tha ke vo pyar hai, par mai manna nhi chahta tha.
    He looked away, not able to hold her gaze. She was looking at him with so many emotions. They was love, they was hurt, they was pain, they was blame and then understanding too. He knew what she was feeling. And he could completely understand.
Sana: Mai sixteen years ke the, par mera pyar koi bachpana nhi tha.
Sid: Par uss waqt yeh mere mann pe bahot bada  bojh tha. Mai khud se nazar nhi mila pa raha tha. Mai khud ko roz lecture deta, ke Mai kitna galat hu. Tu apne innocence me mere karib aati to jee karta ke tujhe apne baho me le lu, aur kiss karu. Tere legs dekh kar Mai excite ho jaata Sana. Aur fir khud apne nazro me gir jaata.
Sana: Vo mera innocence nhi, vo mera pyar tha Siddharth. Mere leye pyar ka matlab hamesha se tu tha aur hamesha tu he rehega.
    Sid looked at her with tears in his eyes. He wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her senseless. But there were two reasons for not doing that. One was he didn't wanted to break the rhythm of this confession he was making to her and the second was if he kiss her now, he won't be able to control himself.
Sana: Aage bol.
Sid: Sana tujhe hamari first kiss yaad hai?? Maine tujse pehle bahot ladkiyon ko kiss kiya hoga. Par I was always in control. Par tere sath uss raat terrace pe I lost control. I never knew that a kiss could affect me so much. Mujhe aaj bhi yaad hai. You were looking bewitching in that black frock that night. And that night changed everything.
Sana: Matlab??
Sid: Tujhe yaad hoga tere papa aaye the us din dopahar me mumbai. Mai jab terrace par tujhe chod kar bhaga aur apne room ke taraf jaa raha tha, to tere papa mile. Aur unhone mujhe tujse dur rehna ka promise leya.
Sana: Papa ko yeh nhi karna chahiye tha na?? Kam se kam vo mujhse baat to karte.
Sid: Sana Mai bhi vohi karta apni beti ke leye jo unhone kiya. Tu apna padai pe se focus kho rahi the. Tujhe mere alawa kuch nhi dekhai de raha tha. Aur vo uss waqt sahi nhi tha. Unhone jo kiya vo bilkul galat nhi tha. Tu unse please baat kar le. Vo tujhe bahot miss kar rahe hai.
Sana: Ha Siddharth mai kar lungi.
    Sid nodded. They had finished their juices. Sid was looking at the empty glass in front of him, lost in thoughts.
Sana; Fir kya hua Siddharth.
Sid: Fir?? Fir shuru hua mere life ka sab se dreadful phase. Maine soocha he nhi tha ke mai tujse itna pyar karta hu. Ke Mujhe itni taklif hogi. Tere jaane ke baad na Sana mai room me aake bahot roya. Tune jab jaate samay mujhe mud ke dekha tha. Teri aakhe mujse plead kar rahi the, mujhe blame kar rahi the. Vo tera chehra na mai aaj tak nhi bula hu. Par mai bahot majbur tha sweetheart. Kahi dino tak mai pagalo ke tarah room, me he baita rehta tha. Ghar walo ke saamne normal hone ke acting bahot acche se ki. Soochta ke kisi ko pata chalega, to sab mujhe galat samjenge. Tujhe itna miss kar raha tha ke Punjab ke ticket book kar le. Aur fir faad kar feek de. Aur fir shuru hua girlfriends banane ka silsila. Bahot saare girlfriends banaya. Par kisime bhi mere Sana wali baat he nhi the. Galti unki nhi the. Mai sab me tujhe dundta tha. Par Sana to ek he the na?? Sab se maasum. Sab se alag. Usse kaha se, lata. Har relationship bahot gandi tarah se khatam ho gaya. Sab ek he ilzaam lagate ke Mai bahot cold hu. Bahot emotionless hu. Par nahi ho paya kisise bhi emotionally attach. Bahot controversies hue. Fir samaj aaya ke pyar to maine kar liya. Ab dubara vo nhi hone wala. Thoda sambhala aur fir bahot saara kaam lene laga. Na accha dekha na bura. Bas din raat khud ko kaam me laga diya. Aur pata nhi shayad mere ghar walo ke dua aur kisi ke sacche pyaar ne mujhe yaha pahucha diya.
    Sana was sitting with her hands folded on the table looking at him. She could not take her eyes off him. Tears were streaming down her eyes. Sid looked at her.
Sid: Sana?? Baby??
Sana: Mai na Siddharth hamesha apna pain, apne hurt ke baare me soochti rahi. Kabhi yeh soocha he nhi ke tu bhi iss dard se guzra hoga. Pari hamesha mujhe bolti the, ke kahani ka dusra pehlu bhi ho sakta hai. Par maine kabhi tere dard ke baare me soocha he nhi. Bahot selfish hu na Mai??
Sid: Nahi meri jaan, aise mat sooch....
Sana: Siddharth mujhe ghar le chal. Please??
Sid: Kyu baby?? Abhi humne dinner kiya bhi nhi hai.
Sana: Nahi chahiye mujhe dinner. Mujhe tujhe hug karna hai. Please chal.
Sid: Thek hai chal.
    Sid paid the bill and they walked to the car.