Sufferable Acceptance

Twenty

Amelia

I really hoped I was wrong about this. Maybe it was just a coincidence. There's no way that Ivan was who I thought he was. Ivan was always good to me. I thought about all he had done for me.

After Mom died I totally lost it. Alfie and I split up after Germany, and I had nowhere to go. I could only hide in Europe for so long. After months of living on the street I decided to head to New York. Ivan was the only one I knew in the city that could help me.

He worked for my dad, but retired to run a bookstore in the city. Ivan was a good guy. He trained me. He was one of the good ones. He always snuck me extra food or water, and never hurt me like the others.

Ivan couldn't stand my dad. He spited the man. The only reason Ivan worked for Dad was because of how good Dad paid him. Ivan had contacts and resources. He was the best middle man my dad could ask for. He worked on my dad's client list and books for the longest time, but eventually had enough of it.

I hadn't seen Ivan until I showed up at his bookstore hungry, and cold. He took me in, gave me a place to sleep and helped me start my business. His past never came up. I didn't talk about my dad, and he never talked about his life. Until now, I was never curious who the man was. I just assumed he had left a family behind just like me.

I stayed with Ivan for a few months until I could afford a new place. Unfortunately, I owe everything to the man. He helped me land my first few jobs back in the states, and made sure I stayed under the radar. I hadn't seen him in years. That's the way it works. Once I had a place to stay we went our own ways.

Parking down the street from the old bookshop made me nervous. What if he knew I was working for the Romanos? Would he try to kill me?

A small bell announced my arrival as I stepped into the shop.

"We're closed." I heard someone say to me in a deep Russian accent. I looked at the front desk and saw an old man sitting and reading the newspaper.

"I'm not here to buy anything. I'm here to see an old friend." I said to the old man.

Ivan's eyes shot up. "Amelia?" He asked.

"Long time no see." I said. Ivan threw his newspaper on his desk and headed to the back of the store. He pulled out a chair for me and headed to a small sink to fill up a kettle.

"Sit." He said.

I watched him turn on his stove and set his kettle down on it.

"How have you been?" He asked.

"I've been busy. You know me, always taking too many jobs." I lied.

"I haven't heard from you in years. I was starting to think I'd never see you again." He said sitting down across from me. I tried to read his face as he sat. If he did know who I was working for he was hiding it well.

"Why are you back?" He asked me.

"I came to ask you for some advice." I said. "I'm hoping you can help me with a problem." He leaned back in his chair and signaled for me to continue.

"Do you think forgiveness is possible?" I asked him. "Can someone who hurt you be forgiven?"

"It depends." He said.

As he talked to me I saw the tattoo on his neck. It was identical to the men back at the house.

"I've just been thinking about my dad and my sisters a lot lately." I told him.

"I think about my mother, and what she would say to me if she was still alive. If she could see me now would she be proud of who I've become? I like to think she would be proud of me for moving on." I shared. "Have you ever lost someone you loved, Ivan? We've known each other for years, but I don't know anything about you before the company."

"I know the pain you feel Amelia." Ivan told me. I was trying to read his facial expressions. He gave little away.

"What should I do Ivan?" I asked him. "Does my father deserve to suffer?"

"An eye for an eye Amelia." He said as he stared right into my eyes.

"Even if it means dozens will suffer? Even if the situation is more than just the both of us?"

"Revenge is a cruel thing, Amelia. It plays no favors and takes anything in its way down with it." He said.

He went back to making his tea at the counter. With his back turned to me he spoke, "Some men do not deserve forgiveness."

That was the answer I was looking for.

I could continue to deny what I already knew, but the truth was the truth. Ivan, the man sitting in front of me, was Dominic Petrov.

Wanting to get out of there quickly in case he knew about the Romanos I stood up and headed to the door.

"I have to go Ivan." I said to him as I grabbed the door knob.

"Amelia..." He said.

I turned around.

"Be careful who you trust in this world. It is easy to get caught up in the moment." He warned me.

Leaving his shop and sitting back in my car I saw him come to the window to watch me leave. As I drove off down the street I took a few photos of him with my phone.

*****

Theo was waiting for me at the house, and he was not happy.

"You don't get to run away like that! I can't believe you left without me. What would you have done if something happened Amelia? You have been healing less than a day, you could have seriously gotten hurt, and no one would have known where you were!" He shouted.

"Shut up." I said. I didn't have time to get lectured right now.

"Where's Lorenzo?!" I asked him. Knowing he would have a chance to yell at me later, he sighed and pointed to the hallway.

"He's in the office. I told him to wait for you to get back." He told me.

I ran to his office, and barged in.

"All of you out. Now." I told Alfie and a few other guys talking to Lorenzo.

"Amelia, what is going on?" He asked, irritated. I walked up to him and handed him the old photograph first.

"We found this on your desk this morning. Those men weren't taking anything. They were trying to leave you this." I explained.

He looked up at me with confused eyes. After letting him examine the photograph I pulled out my phone.

"I knew when I saw the tattoos on those guys' necks who were behind everything. I went into the city to confirm it." I said as he grabbed my phone from me.

Lorenzo backed up and took a seat in a chair. He looked like he had just seen a ghost. I guess in a way he had.

"Are you sure? How do you know?" He asked me.

I was silent. I was afraid to tell Lorenzo how I knew Dominic. What if he lost all trust in me. Would he kick me out or hurt me? I had just started to feel like I was a part of the family, and now Dominic was going to ruin it.

"Amelia!" Lorenzo snapped at me. "How did you know?"

"I worked with him." I blurted out. "Lorenzo, I promise it's not what you think! I had no idea. I met him a long time ago. He helped me land on my feet in New York. He owns a bookstore in the city. I lived with him for a few months until I built a client list. I swear I had no idea who he was. I grew up thinking his name was Ivan. I never asked about his family." I tried to explain to him.

"Is somebody going to tell me what the fuck is going on?" Theo shouted behind us.

Lorenzo and I both looked at each other unsure how to answer Theo's question.

Finally Lorenzo spoke, "Dominic Petrov, isn't dead." he said.