Sufferable Acceptance

Thirty-Six

Amelia

It had been a week since I left Alfie and Theo in the city. I wasn't enjoying my time in the cabin, but it was better than being at the house. I knew eventually I would have to go back to get my things, but I was avoiding that. I didn't want to see Theo again. I knew when he saw me he would try to be normal, and act like nothing happened. He would tell me he doesn't care who I am, or who my Father was. All lies. He would pretend that things could go back to normal. He would also act like my Father trying to kill his entire family was just a minor relationship set back. I knew now that when I left for Germany I should have done this world a service, and killed Xavier Barboza.

While at the cabin, I have to admit, I did think about the Romanos dealing with the Petrovs. I worried what would happen when this war between the families escalated. My dad ran a business like no other. I only hoped the Romanos were prepared.

Each night it became easier to fall asleep. I had almost gotten over sleeping alone, and for better or worse I missed the Romano family less and less.

*****

Knocks on the door early in the morning startled me. I quickly grabbed a gun from my nightstand, and snuck over to the door avoiding the cabin's windows. I was both upset and relieved to see that it was just Alfie on the porch. Knowing it was Alfie I left to the kitchen hoping he would leave. I was wrong, and he knocked again.

"I know you're in there." He said. "I'm trying to be polite by knocking, but I have no problem letting myself in."

I gave in and unlocked the door for Alfie. He let himself in and sat his backpack on my couch. Without saying anything to me he walked to the kitchen, started some coffee and grabbed a mug.

"Thanks for picking the farthest safe house. I should have guessed this is where you would go. I wasted my time going up north." He said.

"What do you want?" I asked him, annoyed.

"Why do you think I'm here? I'm here to bring you back. Lorenzo and Theo need you. We think Dominic is planning another attack." He explained.

"I'm not going back." I said.

He rolled his eyes and gave a laugh. "Don't be ridiculous. We need you."

"I thought I told Theo to tell his dad I wanted to end the contract." I said.

"So what? That's it? You're running away when the Romanos need you most?" He asked. "Don't tell me you're leaving because you're afraid of Barboza?"

"No, I'm leaving because it was a mistake to even take this job. I was better off before I agreed to help you." I tried to explain.

"Bullshit!" Alfie yelled. "You and I both know you're better off now than you were a few months ago. Sure, Ivan is really Dominic, and your dad is working for the Petrovs, but you're a part of a family now, Amelia. The Romanos welcomed you into their home and you're running away because you're a freaking coward!"

"They didn't welcome me into their homes because they were dying for a daughter-in-law! They hired me because I was the daughter of THE Xavier Barboza. Lorenzo told me himself that's the reason he hired me. He wanted the twisted, psycho daughter on his side." I said to him, trying not to get upset. "And now that he knows Dad is working with Petrov I'm sure he's dying to have me back. He's hoping I'll be his inside man for the job."

"You're so self-centered. No one gives a damn about you being a Barboza. They want you to come back because everyone is worried about you. The twins ask about you every morning they wake up, and every night they go to bed. They want to know when Amelia is coming back because they don't feel safe without you. Lorenzo wants you back because when it mattered most you were there to protect his family. Theresa hardly has the energy to get through the day without you. And what about me? You left me too! I miss you Amelia. Is that not enough? Not to mention what happened with Theo.." Alfie said.

"What happened to Theo?" I asked, concerned.

Alfie paused, "Not that you care, but he's doing really bad. Worse than I've ever seen him. He's not eating, hasn't spent an hour sober since you left. He's short with the guys, and worst of all he's being destructive. I've had to spend most nights with him, babysitting him, just to make sure he doesn't leave and go looking for Dominic or Xavier. He goes on these rants, and swears he'll take care of them, so you'll come home. He thinks if Xavier is out of the picture then you'll come back to him. He's being reckless and an idiot. You hurt all of us when you left Amelia."

I sat at the counter with my hands in my lap. I hadn't thought about how everyone was doing now that I was gone. I half expected them to be fine. Knowing all of that hurt me, but it didn't change anything.

"I can't go back Alfie..." I said quietly.

"I promise you Amelia, if you don't go back you'll regret it for the rest of your life. You know what Xavier is capable of. He won't stop until he's wiped out the Romanos. You also know after he helps the Petrovs he's coming after you." He said.

I tried to ignore what Alfie was telling me, but he was right.

"What would your mom think about you leaving?" Alfie said.

"Stop. Don't bring her into this." I begged him.

"You have two choices, Amelia. Show up for the only family you have, and put your past behind you. Or run away and remind everyone that you're a coward just like your Father. Prove to everyone who cares about you that you're better than the man that did a shit job of raising you." Alfie said to me as he walked over to his backpack.

He pulled out a laptop, "This is everything we have on Dominic's next attack. I thought you'd want to take a look at it."

After setting the laptop on the counter Alfie set his coffee in the sink, and left.

As soon as I saw Alfie leave the driveway I broke down. I sank to the floor and sobbed thinking about what he said to me. I sat against the wall and cried, and while I sat there I tried to think of the last time I cried. I think it was when I found out mom died. It took me a day for it to sink in. It wasn't until I saw her body did I realize that she was gone, and wasn't coming back. After mom died I shut down. I promised myself I would move on and wouldn't get attached to anyone else, but here I was crying on the floor of my cabin.

My heart ached thinking about the twins, and Theresa. Thinking about Theo only made me cry harder. If I went back would they forgive me for leaving? Alfie was right. I would never forgive myself if something happened to them, especially if Dad hurt them. I laid on the floor for most of the morning, and when I finally had the strength to stand up I got to work. If the Romanos were going to beat the Petrov's and my dad they were going to need my help.