Sufferable Acceptance

Fourteen

Amelia 

I was sore the last few days because of the fight. I couldn't lie it was nice being close to Theo again, even if it was us throwing punches in the Mafia bosses basement.

The boys were quick to spread the story to everyone else. The first few days of working at the house I hadn't been taken seriously by Lorenzo's men, but after that fight everyone I worked with was afraid to look me in the eyes.

I didn't understand why I kept getting such strange looks until Sophia explained to me that Theo had never lost a fight. Ever. Alfie was half expecting me to turn down his offer, but was impressed to see me beat him.

I think winning pissed him off because he was a bigger grouch than usual. He was short with everyone, and acting like the world was falling apart.

"I don't give a damn what my dad says, I want extra men at night in the warehouse. I'm tired of doing nothing!" Theo shouted on the phone from his room.

I didn't get much sleep living across the hall from Theo. When I first moved in it was hard sleeping knowing he lived across from me and I had to restrain myself from running over to his room. Now I hardly slept because of Theo's sleep schedule or lack thereof. I'm convinced that man is nocturnal. He locks himself in his room all day and night working. Since moving to the house I have not seen him take one night off. On a good day I hardly notice he's awake. I'll hear the occasional seat scrape or the doors open, but when he's angry I could hear everything. I could hear the yelling and the phone throwing or when he curses up to the ceiling in Italian.

If I was being honest I was worried about him. I know he wasn't taking care of himself. I wanted to reach out to him and see if he needed anything, but I was afraid of making myself vulnerable. I didn't want him to see me that way. I had worked hard to distance myself from him and being nice would ruin the progress I made.

After debating with myself about what I should do for 20 minutes I finally threw the covers off me, and headed to the kitchen. While making up a small snack and some tea I tried to convince myself the only reason I was doing this was so he would quiet down and I could get some sleep, but I knew the real reason was because I was worried about him.

Theo had been absent from dinner the past few nights and I knew he wasn't eating. I cut up some fruit for a small fruit salad, and prepared a croissant sandwich for him. I knew he wouldn't accept a lot of food so I kept it light. After brewing some chamomile tea for a few minutes I headed up to his room.

I gave a small knock and waited for him to come to the door.

He opened the door slowly, curious who it could be. When he looked down at me his tired gaze became confused.

"What?" He said dryly.

God, he looked terrible. His hair was a mess, he was wearing a two day old shirt and the bags under his eyes were huge.

"I brought you some food. That nice maid who works in the kitchen said you had to eat something. She was starting to get worried about you." I lied.

"Victoria made this?" He asked.

"Yeah, that's her name. Victoria!" I responded.

"She said at the very least you need some sugars and protein for energy." I explained.

He looked down at my tray of food and debated whether to take it.

"I'm not hungry." He said.

"Please take it. I don't want to have to take this back down to her. It would be so embarrassing. She stayed up late just to make you something. Please..." I asked him.

He looked at me for a while then back at the tray.

He took the tray from my hands and closed his door before saying another word. Good.

Tired from being up all night it was finally time for bed.

*****

The plan for Monday was to take the twins to school and spend the day with Theresa. She wanted some one-on-one time to get to know each other.

I was woken up by the twins jumping on my bed.

"Amelia, you're going to be late for school! You have to get ready!" They shouted at me.

I groaned and pretended to throw a fit in my bed.

"No! You can't make me! Please don't make me go to school!" I pleaded while throwing pillows at them.

They burst into laughter and started throwing back the pillows at me.

"You have to get up, we're waiting to eat breakfast with you!" Ava complained.

"Alright, alright, let me go get ready and I'll meet you downstairs" I told them.

They ran down the stairs and were waiting at the kitchen counter for me when I walked in.

"Are you guys excited for school today?" I asked.

"Yes" said Oli, "We spent all week learning about the Earth and explosive Volcanoes, and today our teacher told us we get to make our own. She said last year the volcanoes exploded all the way to the ceiling!"

"Alright you two, let's go, the car is waiting." Theresa said as she walked into the kitchen.

While the kids grabbed their backpacks from their rooms Theresa and I cleaned up the kitchen.

After dropping off the kids Theresa took me to all of her favorite spots in town. She showed me the family butcher shop, the grocery store, where the kids liked to shop and hang out and she even showed me a few stores that Lorenzo owned on Main Street.

"I don't know how you stay on top of everything Theresa!" I said to her in the car ride back.

"Most days it gives me a headache trying to keep track of everyone, but I wouldn't have it any other way. You know how it is, you'd do anything and everything for your family." She said.

I gave a small pause. I didn't know what it was like. I'd lost contact with my sisters years ago. I didn't have anybody. Spending time with the Romanos made me homesick for a family I didn't even have.

"I'm sorry Amelia, I didn't mean to upset you." She said as she grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Alfie says you've been on your own for a while, I can only imagine how hard that is." She sympathized.

"I can promise you though Amelia that it does get better if you let it. I lost my mother shortly before meeting Lorenzo. I was angry at everything. I caused issues for the family and didn't give it a second thought. It wasn't until I met Lorenzo did I realize that I could be happy again. It was irrational, and selfish, but I blamed my father for her death. Lorenzo helped me heal." she said to me. "He did so much for me. He taught me forgiveness and patience, and together we raised our family. He has his faults, don't get me wrong, but I have yet to meet any man more committed to family than a Romano. He built an empire with that belief."

I took a second to process what she had just shared with me.

"Does the anger ever go away?" I asked, trying not to cry.

"No." She said, "But eventually life becomes so full with the good and beautiful things, that you hardly have time for the anger. It feels less significant when you spend time with someone you love, eventually the life you've built for yourself distracts you from the pain." She said to me.

We didn't speak another word the rest of the ride home. When we pulled into the garage and headed into the house she stopped me.

"I know it feels lonely right now, and your heart must feel heavy and empty, but it doesn't last forever. It doesn't matter how you came into our lives or what your business with us is. No matter what happens you'll always have a place in this world with us, Amelia. And if one day you choose to leave, just know that you can always come back home, and we will all be here to welcome you back. No matter what anyone says, you're a Romano. When you need us, we'll be here waiting, even Theo." She said to me as she gave me a small wink while heading into the kitchen.