Jinkook Exhibit

4.1 Brothers

I stopped and turned around, to see that Seokjin's dashing towards me. I wondered for a moment that I was hallucinating, but as he grew closer I knew he was real.

He caught up to me, and he threw his arms around me. And … hugged me.

It was what I would have expected a hug from Seokjin to feel like. First of all, I almost fell over from the impact. Also, my arms were pinned tightly to my sides and I felt like my ribs were about to snap.

I was so surprised that all I could say was, “Ow.”

He let go, and put his hands on my shoulders. Then he just looked at me for a second, his brown eyes shifting back and forth, his hair plastered over his forehead by the sweats. His cheeks were kind of pink and he was breathing hard from running.

“I love you,” he said. “I love you.” the words that left his lips sounded like a lie to my ears. It is too good to be true.

“Haha.. I love you too, hyung.”

“I meant it, Tae. I love you. I love you so much. That's it. I will tell that to Jungkook.”

My whole world crumbled. Yea, of course. That love wasn't for me. Never was.

'Calm down, Taehyung. Don't break yet. You have to be strong. You already know his heart never belongs to you. You knew it. You knew this will happen.' That's what I tell to myself. I have to be strong.

"I love you, Taehyung. Thank you for making me realised what my heart really want. And now I know, I want Jungkook. I love Jungkook. So much that it'll make me cry a river if he didn't love me back."

"No... Only idiot will not love you back, Seokjin-ah.."

He shook his head, smiling blandly. I turn my back at him. It's hurt to see his smiling that wasn't intended for me.

“No, it’s not. I always messed things up … because I say the wrong things, and then when I have the chance to say the right thing I just let it go. But I can’t do that again, not this time.”

I wasn’t sure where he was going with this. “So …”

“So, I’m saying, I will definitely tell him. I'll tell him how much I love him. I'll tell him that he is my whole world,” he said, and it seemed to take him a world of effort to get the words out. “I feel like I didn’t make that clear enough. I love him, okay?”

I nodded, dazed. “Okay,” I said. “I understand, hyung. It's just, are you really going to tell him that? You can't even speak when looking into his eyes..”

He didn’t say anything for a second, or even move, and … well, I think it’s clear what I thought would happen next. But it didn’t.

He just hugged me again. This time, he didn’t try to crush the life out of me, but still, I wasn't able to hug him back. He buried his face on my back as I can feel his hot breath.

“Can you come with me, when I tell him about this..?” he asked.

I closed my eyes for a moment. I grab his wrists that's hugging my chest. I couldn't comprehend that this was the end. It didn't seem right. After everything I'd gone through, it just didn’t feel real. I couldn’t imagine myself being there to hear he confessing his love to a man that wasn't me.

“Yes, I will,” I said, tapping lightly on his wrists. "But I don't think  Jungkook want me to be there.. You are confessing to him, hyung. He definitely want you two to be alone. I don't want to be the third wheel.." And I hoped he knew how much I meant it.

He released the hug. I turned around and I saw his puppy like face, staring into my eyes begging me to accompany him. I used to fall for that tricks, but this time I will have to be firm with him.

"No Seokjin-ah. You are not a kid that needs his mother or father to accompany him to his first class. But you are a grown up man. A beautiful one. A brave one. The most handsome man I've ever known. I knew you can do this. You don't need me.. I trust you.."

He pouts his lips. How I wish I could kiss those two lips. The impossible making my heart wrecked and it is hurt too much that I feel like I am going to die anytime soon.

"Okay.. I guess I have to man up. Thank you, Taetae." he said, hugging me for the last time.

"... I know you can do it.." This is breaking me. Please, just go, Seokjin. I cannot look at you any longer. You are hurting me. Why didn't you love me? Why Jungkook?? Why it must be him??

"I will go to him. How do I look? Do I look okay?" he asked, turning around in circle, wanting me to evaluate if he is presentable enough to go see Jungkook.

"Of course, babe.. You looks good. Perfect.."

"Haha.. Thank you! Then, I will go now. Please pray for me, Taehyung."

No, I don't want to pray for you. It should be me. How I wish I could say that to him. "You'll do good, Seokjin hyung. I'll pray for you even if you don't need it. He'll definitely say yes."

"Haha. I know it! Well then, let's meet again tonight. I will let you be the first to know about it! Good bye Taetae! I love you, my friend!"

"..." Good bye, Seokjin-ah.

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