Our story is a long one
And if I tell it right
Maybe you can help me
Get a hold of some insight
In the way beginning
I really had no clue
What I was signing off on
When I first met you
For most of my short life
I'd lived beneath a turtle shell
Waiting patiently for someone to
Help me break out of my hell
And then we started talking,
And I swear this part is true-
I was comfortable with myself
When I was around you
And quickly I was falling
Though at first I did deny
Even to my own self
I began to lie
But then there came a day
When I finally let go
And accepted all the feelings
I was trying not to show
And I knew it wasn't just me
I could see it in your eyes
Or at least that's what I thought I saw
Maybe it was some disguise
Cuz in an instant it was gone
Dissappeared in seconds flat
And I suddenly lost track of
Where my sense was at
I began to question
All the things I'd thought were true
And I cursed myself for thinking
That I actually knew you
But regardless I still missed it
All the good times that we'd had
And I decided that just being friends
Couldn't be that bad
And the worst part of it all
Were the lies that I believed
When deep down in my heart
Were those old feelings, unretrieved
So we went on just like that
Me pretending to be fine
And you as happy as could be
Though you weren't mine
And I waited the whole summer
In fear of what might change
When I returned the coming fall
Whether we would be strange
But instead our big reunion
Was all that it could be
And I felt like there may even be
Such thing as "you and me"
Oh, god I've been so stupid
Making all the same mistakes
I wish I wasn't so attached
To you for goodness sakes
And bam, right on time
Like clockwork, there again
You dropped everything with me
Then took off and ran
And here I am again
Tired and alone
Pathetic and over-attached
To old memories I've known
And now instead of sad
A certain numbness is inside
A dull grey me has surfaced
A depression I can't hide
And everyone has noticed
And everyone has asked
And everyone is worried
Except for you, alas!
And everything I had with you has shattered into glass
And all the times that we have shared mean nothing, they have passed
If we even had something, which I begin to ask
Because my doubts have grown too massive to just blatantly surpass
And I want to just move on but it's not working quite so fast
And despite the time I've spent on this, these feelings just won't pass
