Lauren.
I felt so much better. It was like the weight has lifted it off. I got a chance to ask Ally all the questions I wanted to know when we broke up and when I found out she was with someone else. Knowing the answers crushed my heart but I wouldn't have to question myself about what happened between them. Not the best conversation but the most honest and deep conversation we both had it a very long time.
We met 7 years ago and we started dating within two weeks of knowing each other but we both liked each other so much that we became something so quickly that it ended 3 months later but we both cared about each other. So after we broke up we still talked for years until I found out she was with someone else.
I asked her who she was and she went all defensive about how I found out which I understand and get where she was coming but at the same time, I didn't understand why she couldn't tell me the first time or even before that so I wouldn't have to see it. It broke my heart.
Knowing all the facts and the reasons why she didn't want to tell me and it was hard for her to explain or even tell me. In my head back then it was like 'Hey Lauren, I found someone else. Or hey I'm talking or seeing someone.." But that's not how it happened. I can finally forgive her and now move on to the past and just focus on the present.
I didn't think after what happened with us and our history we would be in each other's lives. It made me realize no matter what happened in the past now we will always be there for each other and always care for another. That wouldn't change, and now maybe we could try this again and not make the same mistakes we did before. We are not going to rush it or say things unless we talk it through.
"Thank you so much for sharing about everything even though it was painful for me to hear it but I am glad you told me. I am not mad about it or even thinking about the what-ifs anymore. It's like the weight has been lifted off. It makes me feel I can finally breathe and work on the present with you, that is if you still want to try this again when are you are ready or whenever you decide to tell me that you have feelings for me again. No rush or pressure. When the time is right we will both know I hope at the right time for us." I said looking at her and sitting up.
I didn't think we would be talking about this or even wanting to talk about it after our 3 times just spending time together. We were in her bed, and no it's not like that, I even offered for me to sleep on the couch but she insisted to sleep with her and just sleep which I was okay with it. I was finally relaxed and I can tell she was still tossing back and forth that I asked what was wrong.
" I want to talk about her." She said flat out. I froze and moved to the side she was and looked at her.
"Are you sure, we don't have to unless you don't want to," I said honestly, I was feeling a little sad. I didn't want to think about it.
"Yes, I am. It's been a long while and I know you want to know and I will tell you what exactly happened if you still want to know."
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Still hoping that will happen to me and my ex who now I still talk to every day after all the shit we've been through. But I've been patient about it. Hope you like it!
If everyone has ideas or what you want to hear or read about, let me know! :)
