WinterFlame (Bucky x Reader)

If Only I Knew

Y/N POV
I rolled over in the middle of the night, My hand hitting the mattress and not Bucky. Maybe he was just like almost falling off the bed, so that's why I didn't feel him. I opened my eyes and he was gone.
"Bucky?" I sat up in the bed and looked around the room. I could see that one of his jackets was gone.
"What are you doing now Barnes." I sighed. I looked at the clock, It was two am. I got out of the bed and slipped on one of his jackets. I quietly opened the door and walked out into the hallway. The moon light shinning down the hall, from the living room. I held the jacket close to my body and looked around.
"Bucky!" I whispered yelled.
I walked into the kitchen and rested my hands on the sink. I sighed looking down at the dishes. I looked up and saw Bucky lying down in the middle of grass. I walked outside the compound and made my way to him.
"Buck?" I said. He turned to face me, Shock filling his face.
"Y/N? What are you doing here?" He asked, sitting up.
"I could ask you the same thing Barnes." I giggled. I sat beside him on the cold grass. My body shivering from the cold.
"Bucky it's two in the morning, Why are you outside?" I had a feeling of concern go through my body.
"I needed air and to clear my head." He sighed.
"From what I told you?" I asked. He looked up at me and frowned, until dropping his gaze back down.
"Bucky..." I began.
"I...i just can't believe it. I feel I would remember you better. Than just one memory, You know." He looked angry and paranoid. I grabbed his hand and he sighed.
"Bucky like I said before, I don't want you to remember my old self. I wasn't nice." I said.
"Well I at least want to remember what we did, You know I need memories to." He said angrily. I never really heard him speak in a voice like that before.
"I...I don't...know." I scoffed. "I want to help you but..." I was cut off.
"Than help me, Tell me all about our fighting days. I want to remember you Y/N." He smiled.
"Bucky, Trust me. Those memories are best left in the past." I frowned.
"Why, What Happened that I cant know about!" He yelled.
"Calm down." I tried grabbing his arm, But he pulled it away.
"I want to know, Please Y/N tell me. Tell me." He frowned, I could see tears begin to fill his eyes. He stood up, pacing the grass.
"Not yet." I sighed. I wanted to tell him, But I could feel he wasn't ready for that information.
"Well when, when will you tell me? I want the answers." He barked. I started to get teary eyed.
"NOT NOW BUCKY!" I yelled. He visibly stumbled back. I wiped away the tears from my eyes.
"If you love me and trust me, Like you say you do. Than you will respect me and when I decide to tell you." I stood up, Trying to become the dominant one in the fight. He frowned and closed his eyes. I rested my hand on his cheek and grabbed his metal hand, entangling it with my own warm flesh.
"Doll, I can't sleep. I just want to know."
"Bucky I promise I will tell you, But for right now, It's nothing you should worry about." I smiled and kissed his cheek. He blushed and rubbed his hand along my back. He rested his head on my shoulder, I could hear quiet sobs. I wrapped him a hug, holding him super close.
"I'm sorry Y/N, I never yell. That was wrong of me." He cried. I pulled away and grabbed his face.
"It's okay Bucky, You were angry. Angry people yell. Have you heard Tony?" We both giggled. He stroked my face with his thumb.
"But I never wanted you to hear it, In that manner." He said, Sadness and hurt in his eyes.
"I'm sorry to Buck." I sighed. He wrapped me in a hug and we stood their. In each other's embrace. Our problems melting away until we calmed down.
"We should get back to bed, I'm flipping cold." I said, shivering.
"Ya, let's go back." He smiled. We started walking back until he stopped in his tracks.
"Get on!" Bucky yelled with glee.
"What?" I asked, he crouched down and I got the idea, I hopped on his back. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he held them close. Giving me a piggy back ride back to his room. We tried to control our laughter as we got back to his room. He flopped me down on the bed and kissed my forehead. We took off our jackets and climbed under the covers.
"I love you Y/N, Never forget that." He smiled.
"Buck, I love you so much more than anything on this planet, okay maybe ice cream takes that one." I giggled. He chuckled and I rested my head under his arm, His hand stroking my arm
"Yeah, Ice cream will always win."
I looked up at him and he looked at me. We both leaned in and kissed each other. It was a cute little peck.
"That's all?" Bucky looked annoyed.
"I'm to tired for anything else." I laughed. He laughed and pulled me closer. Us falling asleep in minutes. When I woke up this time, My hand hit Bucky in the face. Which I was glad to do, so I knew he was still in bed.
"What the..." He groaned. I rolled over so I met his gaze.
"Sorry." I said, whilst removing my hand from his face.
"It's fine." He yawned. He grabbed my waist and yanked me so my head was on his chest.
"I don't want to leave the bed, Im to cozy." I said yawning and rubbing my eyes.
"Same here Doll, We should have movie day today." He exclaimed.
"That sounds amazing." I smiled.
"Can I say something?" Bucky asked.
"Go ahead." I smiled, I had no clue what was going on.
"You are the most perfect girl in the world, You know that right?" He grinned and blushed.
"Well I do now." I smiled. His smile grew 10 times wider and pulled me in for a long kiss.
"I was craving that all night." He sighed.
"Same." I blushed. As we were watching the movie, Bucky's Phone dinged.
"Are you serious." He groaned. He reached over me and grabbed his phone.
"Steve said, I'm going on a mission. In 10 minutes. I don't want to go, I want to be with you today." He frowned.
"Buck you can't just stop being an avenger, Go help Steve and when you get back, I'll still be here." I smiled.
If only I knew