The Unexpected Inheritances

Chapter 7

Disclaimer:

- this - means thoughts

this means creature talking in head

"this" means normal talking

Severus's P.O.V.

As soon as the speakers tell us to take a break, I turn to Lucius.

"Can I go back to my dorm, Luc?", I ask him. I don't like being surrounded by people murmuring about me. I can't stand being here a moment longer. 

"I don't want you to be alone, Sev."

"Please.... I can't be around all these people..."

Reluctantly, I see Lucius nod. As soon as he does, I bolt out of the room.

I make my way to Slytherin common room. No one was in there; everyone had just left for lunch. No one is there to see me break down. And honestly, thank Merlin for that. I don't think I could live that down if someone were to see this. I don't want anyone to think worse of me than they already do. 

I can feel Nat getting more and more unstable. That makes me feel even worse. His emotions only add on to mine, which makes me feel guilty. Almost instantly, I want to be back with Luc.

No, Sevvy, need mate. Find them, want them... it hurts.

And it does hurt. The mate-pains have only gotten stronger. It's always in the back of my mind. I do want my mate, I really really do. But I tell myself that I am not worthy of my mate, and I can't have them. I feel Nat whine, telling me to stop. That thought breaks my heart. 

I blindly find my way to my bed, falling ungracefully on top of it. Fresh tears track their way down my face as I clutch my pillow, wishing that I smelled my mate on it.

I try to breathe, but every breath makes me feel like I'm drowning. My lungs are burning. I know I'm panicking, but I can't stop. The word sub keeps echoing in my head, because now everyone knows, and based on the reactions of my classmates, it won't be taken well. I'll be pushed around, people will take advantage of me, laugh at me, call me names, and everyone, including my mate, will hate me. Fuck, when my mate finds out who I am....

The door opens, and Lucius's scent fills the room. The overpowering scent of a dominant. My head snaps up on in own accord and my body makes its way to a submissive position, as I pull myself to my knees.

"Sev...", he says, his voice full of pity. I hate it. I don't want his pity. I don't know what I want, but it isn't him comforting me. That's for my mate to give me. I try to push that thought out of my head. I don't need my mate. But nevertheless, I don't want Luc to try and comfort me. And even if I don't know what I want, Luc seems to know. 

"Sub,", he growls, and I whimper in response. I realize he has given his veela control. "Come." I immediately scramble towards him, sitting at his feet. "Good sub." He starts petting my hair, making me chirp subconsciously. "Breathe, sub." At his order, I take a deep breath, one I hadn't been able to take before. "Good, now relax." I let the tension leave my shoulders. "Look at me." He lifts my chin with a hand, and I let my eyes drift to his. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Everyone knows...", I say softly, avoiding his eyes once again.

"That you're a sub?" I nod at him. "Why does that upset you?"

"They... they'll judge me, and make fun of m-me, and e-everyone is going to h-hate me..... bec-because of who I am,.... no one was m-mean because t-they were scared of me, and now I-I'm pathetic and c-can't t-think for myself." 

"Severus, listen to me. It's going to be okay. I'll protect you, I won't let anyone hurt you, or talk shit about you, and if they do, they might not make it out alive. I'll give them scars that will never fade. And you are not pathetic. You are so good, such a good sub, look at you." I can't help but chirp happily at his words. "There, see? You're going to be okay." I still don't quite believe him, but I give him another chirp and nod, if only to make him happy. "Do you want to come down for lunch?" No, too many people, I think, and shake my head fast. He laughs. "Okay, I'll get something for you."

"Thank you." I say quietly. He nods and runs a hand through my hair. "What-what's your name?",I ask him. He smiles, and I realize it's because I noticed he wasn't Lucius. 

"Dominic. I'll be back soon." At that, he leaves. I exhale deeply. Thank Merlin for Lucius, and Dominic. I didn't think I would rely so heavily on the presence of a dom in my life. Once again, I feel my mood drop as I think about my mate, how much I want them, and how I can't have them. 

I get back into bed, after readjusting my pillows and duvet to vaguely convey the shape of a nest, and curl up, hugging a pillow to my chest. A while later, Luc comes back with food, and we eat in a comfortable silence. After we do, he suggests I take a nap, and I have the urge to protest, but can already feel my eyelids drooping, which is probably why he suggested it. 

"Thank you." I murmur. 

"Of course. You're my best friend, Sev. I care about you." I fall asleep. 

I realize almost immediately that I am in a mate dream, if only by the scent that hangs in the air. I can't deny that my mate smells amazing. I can't place it exactly, but I smell butterbeer and broom polish, layered with the savory dominant scent, stronger even than Lucius. It takes everything I have to not run to them, but I can't. I just can't.

My mate retains the same shadowy appearance than in my other mate dream, but this time I can see their overall build, and yep, they are definitely male. I mean, I already figured, because female dominants are super rare.

He takes a step towards me, and I take one back, because if I go to him, I'll get my hopes up even further, and I don't want that. If I do that, it will hurt even more when I'm rejected.

"Mate" he says, his voice nondescript, yet simultaneously pleading and demanding. I can't help but let out a squeak, and he leans towards me at the sound. "Please" I want so badly to go to him. His voice is like an ocean tide, pulling me in and away from shore, away from safety. I can't let it.

I shake my head and force myself to face away from him.  He growls, and it makes my knees want to give out.

"Mate, come here." It's not a request this time, but and order, and I can't resist it. I practically run into his arms, and he immediately pulls me to his chest, and wraps his arms around me. I immediately feel safe, and can't help but wish we could stay here forever. His scent engulfs me, and I breathe in lungfuls of it, letting it calm me. But he them pulls me away, holding me at arms length. I try to look away, thankfully he can't see my blush, but he tilts my chin back up to face him.

"Talk to me please. Why-" he seemed to choke on his words."Can't ask questions, okay. You didn't want to come to me. Tell me why."

"You'll hate me." I say in a whisper before I can decide whether to say or not. 

"I could never hate you, mate." His words are full of sadness. "You are mine. I could never hate you. Why... Tell me why you think that."

"Because I'm-" the dream won't let me say who I am. and for that I am partly grateful. Because if my mate knew who I was, he'd pull me away from him. But I have to answer him, I can't disobey my mate. I look away, but again he forces me to look him in the eyes.

"Shh, it's okay, calm down. I've got you. I'm guessing the dream won't let you say." I shake my head, glad that he understands. "That's fine, I'm not mad at you. You're so good, I'm so proud of you for trying." His words make me feel boneless, and I sag against him. Him praising me sounds like a song from heaven, I just want to listen to it forever. "Whatever you were going to say, just know that I could never hate you."

"Don't say that." Don't give me hope, because if you do, I don't think I could live with your rejection. 

But then I realize that I gave my mate an order. I told my dominant what to do. Mate, mine, I gave order...... fuck, fuck, fuck, I can't, no, no no......

Please, sorry, mate, sorry, I didn't mean.... mate please, sorry, so so sorry, please forgive, I didn't mean to.... please.....

I can't breathe, can't speak, but I try, because I just told my dominant, my mate, mine, what to do, I gave him an order, and I can't do that, I'm not allowed because he is my mate and my dom, and I'm his sub and he will hate me now because I said the wrong thing, I have to say sorry, but if I fuck up again he will hate me more and I can't do that because he's my mate and I'm his sub and he has to like me, because if he doesn't I'll die. 

I'll die.

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(Sorry for the cliffhanger, 1,620 words. credit for inspiration goes to @cameronn__ and their story "Be My Wings".)