Happiness Doesn't Wait

Abi

I put a hand on my growling stomach. I groan at the pain of an empty stomach. Well. Not even. I ate something about two hours ago and I used to be able to go without eating until the end of my shift, but now I eat two protein bars from the snack bar. I throw away the wrappers and my stomach furiously growls again.

I went to the doctor yesterday with my sister. That's why I called in sick and now I'm going over everything I heard yesterday. I looked at the black and gray screen in front of me and I saw a tiny body inside of there. I really am pregnant.

The doctor was surprised at how late I've started seeing symptoms. But he reassured me that all women are different. All I did was nod along to everything he said and tried to calm my nerves.

I sigh as my stomach makes noises and I take another bite of my protein bar. What am I going to do? I'm so terrified. It's worse whenever I bump into Blake or with just a look of his warm eyes. I really want his hold now more than ever, but then nerves take over me again. How am I going to tell him?

Once I'm done with my second protein bar, my stomach finally calms down a little and I go over to the lockers. I look through my bag in search of those pills the doctor prescribed for me. He said it was like these vitamins for the baby. It was necessary to drink them at least once a day.

I take out the bottle and drink down the ones I'm supposed to have today. Well. I guess this is okay so far. The last time I was pregnant, I was puking my guts out. This pregnancy seems different. I rarely feel any nausea.

I shiver at the memory of that small body I saw on that screen. It terrified me even more. What will it think of me once they find out of my past? Will it really be happy with me?

"Hiya!" I run a tired hand on my face at the sound of Cam's voice.

I shove the bottle of pills deep down in my purse and smile at him. "Hey."

"Okay!" he says playfully. "No questions asked! Booze. Tonight. At your place."

"No," I say without hesitation. It's a good thing I didn't go over to a party with Cam in the last few months.

Cam frowns. "What do you mean no? You can't bail on me again!"

"Watch me." I start towards the lobby as I get out of the locker room. I get a tray and start filling it up with orders. Cam follows me closely behind.

"That's not fair though. The first time was because you were getting proposed. Yes. Wow. Awesome. You're madly in love. Happy ending."

I sigh tiredly at these words and I try hard to push Blake out of my head to concentrate on my work.

"After that, you bailed on me because you fell asleep! Okay. I get it. You're a hard worker, but really?! You cannot miss out this time, my girl."

My blood boils now with just the sound of his voice. I turn around with annoyance and say, "Can you just....stop talking?"

"No. I need you to say yes!"

"No. Now leave me alone." Cam follows close behind and I turn around with more anger. "Cam. I'm serious. Leave me alone."

Cam notices my attitude now and worry runs through his dark blue eyes. "Hey. Are you alright? I was just messing around. I know you're pretty busy. You don't have to--"

I slap his touch away and say, "Don't touch me!"

"Ouch! Okay! Geez! What's wrong with you?" Surprise runs through his expression at my words and people have started to whisper about our argument. Then I hear a loud and booming voice that sends shivers all over my body.

"What is going on here?" I turn to see Blake walking up to us. Cam and I turn pale and he gives us both a stern look. "What's going on here? Cam? Abigail?"

I shiver at the way he uses my full name. I look down in shame and Cam clears his throat awkwardly. "Nothing, mate. I mean sir. We were just....going out." He points at the metal doors and starts to leave.

I clear my throat now and give him a quick nod. Before I leave, Blake gently takes my arm and softly says, "Abi. What is going on with you?"

"Nothing," I painfully lie to him.

"That's not true."

"It is."

Blake stays silent at my defiance and let's go of my arm. "Okay then. Go ahead and continue on with your customers. Your break should be over by now."

"Thank you, sir," I say in a whisper. I can feel the way his eyes burn through my back as he watches me enter the kitchen.

By the end of the day, I avoid Blake and the first thing I do when I enter my apartment is let out a sigh of relief.

"Hello," my sister says as she steps out of her room with a small smile. "How are you?"

I run a tired hand down my face and shrug. "I'm tired. I feel like I've been running away from someone all day."

"Blake." I don't say anything when she says this. Amy gives me a firm look and says, "You didn't tell him, did you?"

"No. How am I going to tell him?!"

Amy shrugs. "I don't know. Figure it out. He deserves to know. He's the father."

I let out a sad sigh. I close my eyes at the thought of his warm smile. How much I wish I can feel his touch right now. I wish I can just tell him but when he finds out what I've done in the past, it'll change everything.

"Hey," my sister says gently. "Why don't you sit down? Take a rest. It'll help."

My stomach responds to my sister and I shake my head at her. "I'm going to get something to eat. You were cooking today, right?"

"Yes, ma'am," she says with a small smile. "I made very good sandwiches. You're going to love them."

"Okay," I say with a small smile. I sit down at the table and let her serve me. It always feels weird when people serve me food. I'm so used to serving people instead of being served.

When I start to eat, comfort comes onto me from my stomach filling up and I end up with a refreshed smile. Amy proudly chuckles at my reaction to her plate and says, "I knew you'd like it."

"It was delicious. Thank you. You should work at the restaurant as a sandwich chef."

"I don't think you're supposed to be good at one thing to be a chef."

"That's not true. Blake is so good at soups and he's a chef." The mention of his name brings sadness back to me and my expression falls.

My sister takes a hold of my hand and gives me a warm smile. "Sis. You got this. If God gave you this kid, it's for a reason."

I scoff at the mention of God. But I prefer not to say anything about it because Amy is a believer. She gets defensive when I give my thoughts on God.

My eyes start to tear up and I take a breath of strength. I look at my sister and say, "What if I'm not going to be a good mother? What if I don't tell him?"

"Abi..." Amy gives me her mom look and I start to feel nervous. "You have to tell him. Don't think anything stupid."

"But...how am I going to make this child happy?! I'm no good!"

"Lies!" Amy says with a hint of a smile. "You are a great person. You think you're bad but everyone that interacts with you, loves you! How do you not see this?"

"Amy. This is different than just talking to customers. I....I'm scared. That's why...."

Amy's expression softens at my sadness and she comes over by me to put a warm arm around my shoulders. "But you're not alone anymore. I'll be here to help. Imagine the amount of help you'll have once you tell Blake. He loves you, sis. I know he'll be happy to hear of this baby."

I do a small sniffle. "How do you know?"

Amy does a small smirk. "Because you say it yourself. I'm a genius."

I laugh at this and my heart finally feels better for once. And a spark of hope walks in our place when we laugh together. Maybe....I'll try to tell him by next week.

Or maybe I'll tell Cam first.