Happiness Doesn't Wait

Abi

I pace around the living room as I await for Blake.

Yesterday, he seemed like he was too busy discussing some things with his mother so I told him to come by this evening. Nerves start up in my veins as I think of the various reactions he can have when I tell him my abortion story. Is he going to hate me?

I put a hand on my medium sized belly and start to feel those quick flutters. My hand doesn't feel it, but my heart flutters every time I notice these soft quickening. They've gotten a bit stronger now. Sometimes, it feels like he's doing flips in there. If he is, I'm proud of him for the advantage he takes of all that space he has in there. I'd do the same.

I sit back down on the couch with my foot nervously tapping. How do I start? How do I explain what I've done? Another flutter starts up in my stomach and it feels as if he's doing flips in there. I do a small chuckle and let out a deep breath. My sister said she had a few things to do at the hospital tonight, so I have the place free. Free to talk with Blake. Free to talk with the flutters within me.

I've felt odd talking to my belly. Amy suggested it the other day and I just furrowed my brows at her. But as I feel his flutters stronger and faster at every second, I put a hand on my belly and awkwardly clear my throat.

"Hey there," I softly say. "Can you hear me?" The series of flutters continue as if nothing has happened. I do a small sigh. "I know I haven't been my best for a while and...I'm sorry with what you have to hear...if you do hear anything. I just..." I move my hand to the side where the flutters have moved to. "I just really need to tell this to your dad. So I'm sorry if...." My eyes start to water and I quickly wipe my tear away. I smile down at my fluttering belly and let my thumb rub on it affectionately. I promise that I'll be better once I tell him everything.

A soft knock on the door brings me to look up and my heart pounds. I take a deep breath and my shaking hand opens the door to reveal my handsome chef.

He gives me a loving smile and he holds me for a long kiss. I let his lips comfort me. I tell my heart to stop shivering if his kiss says it all. Tells me that maybe he'll understand.

We pull away and I close the door when he walks in. He quietly looks around and shrugs at me. "Well. It seems like we're alone."

"Yeah," I say nervously. I quickly clear my throat. "Um...do you want something to eat? Or something to drink?"

"No," he says with his sweet smile. "I just want you..."

My heart flies and my body shivers at his soothing words. But I stay put as nerves drown these loving emotions I have for him. I look around and suddenly find myself panicking. "Um...." I do a sigh and quickly say, "Well. Why don't we eat either way?"

Blake gives me a warm smile. "Okay. Do you want me to make you something?"

"Ummm." I look for any sign of a rumble. Anything but when I need my stomach to speak up, it stays silent. I take the strong fluttering feeling of the baby as hunger and say, "Um...how about...some scrambled eggs?"

Blake starts towards the kitchen and gets to work. "Just that?"

"Um...with ketchup."

"Okay," he says with a playful smile. "It'll take only a few minutes, miss. If you'd like, I suggest to look over the appetizers menu as well."

I chuckle at the way he speaks to me as if we were at our job. "No. I think I'll wait for my plate, Mister." He nods at me and I watch him do my scrambled eggs. The small smell of his cooking brings a small rumble in my stomach and now it feels real as I dig into my plate.

He watches me eat with a smile and softly says, "I think you wanted to talk to me about something? It sounded a little serious."

My heart trembles again and I slowly put my empty plate to the side. I clench my jaw as I think of a way to start this conversation. My eyes threaten to water and I do a shaky breath. Blake immediately notices this and takes a hold of my hand. "Baby. What's wrong? Did your cousin say something?"