Happiness Doesn't Wait

Blake

I've been back home for over a week now. I never thought I'd realize how much I missed her.....

When I saw her, my world just...stopped. It was always like that with her. I fell for her, but I hurt her. I was too embarrassed to call back or even text back. But now.....it's all different for me. She's different, too. She must be twenty three now. She looks older despite of the three years I left her.

I met Abi when I was twenty three. She was only twenty one and I was intrigued with her communication skills in our college classes. I learned that she had a twin and that impressed me even more. Though, I met her through a friend. She was working as a waitress even back then in this same restaurant and she didn't have such a respectable position like she does now. Yet, as I watch her from afar smile at people and talk to them, she still has that same grace that brought people to just love her. That's what I fell in love with first. Her smile.

The moment she smiled at me....I was left dumbstruck. I felt nervous. I never feel nervous. I always have everything planned and organized. I see everything in it's order, but Abi taught me to see the world in a beautiful mess.

I missed her. God. I wish I can tell her. But I knew this would happen. I knew that she'd never forgive me for leaving without giving an explanation. If only she'd look back at me now as she happily talks with a child at one of the tables. If only she'd listen to my reason. Maybe she'd understand...

I try to cross paths with her, but I'm stopped by a waitress asking for help. Then when I finally had an opportunity, the new guy interrupts my mission and I answer his question angrily. By the end of the day, my heart jumps when I see her alone by a counter. Her small button nose shows when she puts her brown hair behind her ear. She looks just as beautiful as when I first met her.

I take a deep breath and walk towards her. A smile starts at my lips as I get closer to her, but then I see Cam go up to her and they start to talk. My feet stops and my heart falls. I watch as she laughs about something he says and then they leave the place together.

My heart urges for me to keep going. Run after her. But I look away from the exit and sadly walk back to the kitchen.

The day goes down into a sad rainy moment, but I don't let it keep me down for too long. I have someone at home that waits for my smile. It's the least she can get after everything she's been through.

So I let out a tired sigh and push Abi aside for a second as I enter my mother's house. I hang my suit jacket to only have my buttoned long sleeve on. It's quiet at first until I hear footsteps coming towards the living room.

I give my mother a warm smile and she runs to give me a hug. "Son! I'm so happy to see you!" Her brown eyes shine playfully as she whispers in Spanish, "I thought you'd fly off again."

I give her a warm laugh and start speaking in the Spanish my father taught the both of us. "Don't worry, mother, I'm not going anywhere. I've completed my mission over at Brazil."

The mention of Brazil makes my mother's eyes fall with a hint of sadness. Her smile shortens and her face copies the grayness of her curly hair. "I suppose you have. I'm glad you're back. How was your day, son?"

"Oh," I say with another sigh of exhaustion. "It was quite the handful." I follow her into the ktichen as she takes out a bowl for me to eat soup.

"Handful?" she says with curiosity. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well. The employees are the handful, but they seem like promising people. Ryan was kind enough for me to meet all of them at once."

"Mmm," she says as she sits at the dining table with me. "It's not like your father's place over at Brazil?"

I laugh at the memory of all those times I nearly quit the job at my father's place. "No! No. They are much better. Kinder. They know what they're doing." Abi's sweet smile comes back to my head and I sadly continue to eat in silence.

My mother observes my sudden silence and carefully asks, "Is there something else going on?"

My mind takes me back to the moment when I felt her soft skin since I've arrived. She pulled away, but I was convinced that I want to feel her touch again. I do a small sigh and say, "It's nothing. It's just a person I haven't seen in a while...

"Abigail..."

My mother knows who I'm talking about. She's the only girl that has ever flipped my whole world upside down. I do a small nod and go back to my soup.

"You know....you should talk to her again."

"I already tried."

My mother's brown eyes grow wide. "What? How? I thought you went to work."

"I did," I say with a small scoff. "But she happens to be the Head Waitress of the restaurant I will be working at."

My mother does an impressed look at my words. "Head waitress? Wow."

"Yeah. I know. She truly is--"

"A great girl," my mother gently says. She takes a hold of my hand and gives me a tender smile. "Son. Sometimes...these things are not coincidence. I remember the two of you. She was a good girl."

"She was always quite different..." She really was. She was always the wild one in the group while I was quietly sitting by her side. I guess this is why I fell for her. Every single thing about her just left me wondering and intrigued.

"But you still loved her." I smile at my mother's tender look. I'm taken back to all those nights when I would ask for her to sing to me. All those times she'd be there for a hug. When my parents split up, it was hard for me but she always knew how to bring back a smile on my face.

I lovingly squeeze back her hand and sadly say, "I'm scared that....what I did would only make it worse for me."

My mother puts a loving hand on my cheek and softly says, "What happened to your father was....something we weren't ready for. But if she is the one....she will understand when you explain it to her. Although, it doesn't mean I excuse you for what you did! I told you that you should call her back!"

I do a soft laugh at this as she stands up to put my empty bowl in the sink. I observe the way she does a small limp when she walks. I furrow my brows at this. I don't remember her having some sort of leg pain when I left.

"Hey, Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Does your leg hurt?"

My mother's eyes grow wide as she looks back at me. Her eyes shine in a way I recognize when she hid my father's death from me until she was ready to tell me. But she quickly puts it aside and does a small chuckle. "Oh! You mean my leg? Oh don't worry, son. It was just a small muscle pull from today in the morning."

"Oh..." I'm still not convinced as she quickly looks back at the sink. But a small vibration on the table brings me to put my concerns to the side, and read that Ryan wants to meet with me. "Mom," I say to her. "I have to go. Ryan just asked if I can go to the restaurant."

"Very well, then." She wipes her hands on her apron and gives me a small kiss on my cheek as I say my goodbye to her. "Be safe."

"You, too," I gently say to her. "If you want...I will pass by the pharmacy for medicine for your pain?"

"Okay, son. Thank you," she says with a small smile. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

I step out of the house with the image of my mother's shine in her eyes. She's hiding something. She never hides anything as long as it'll hurt me. Just like she did with my father's reason of death. I was disappointed when I found out that alcohol took the best of him....

It took over our family, too, and made us separate.