Happiness Doesn't Wait

Blake

It's been quite the roller coaster for me this past week. First it's my father's money and the deal. Then my mother's new session of chemo. Then it's Abi and her story. Now I can feel my baby kick!

No matter what the heck is going on, my heart is connected with my boy all day everyday. I call Abi sometimes when she isn't working and she gives me a sigh. "No. I'm fine," she says every time. "He's sleeping. If you want to feel him more, you have to be laying down beside me at night." I do have an urge to stay with her at night, but then I get shy with the thought that her sister lives there, too. It'd be a little awkward.

But during work, whenever she's there, I take advantage of the little moments she takes breaks. Apart from her huge appetite, she's been very thirsty lately. She finishes about two water bottles by the end of her first break. Every five minutes, I find her rummaging through the snack bar for something to eat. So I've told Cam to make sure to put healthy snacks for Abi as well.

There are days that she skips a break and she comes up to me with an insatiable hunger. According to what I've read this week, my boy is about the weight of a bag of sugar you'd get at the grocery store. No wonder he's so hungry all the time.

Abi one day looked down at her belly and put a hand on it when she finally finished the plate I made for her. "Why are you so hungry all the time?"

"The bigger it gets," I said to her as I sat by her and put a tender hand on her belly. "The hungrier it gets. That's a quote from a book I read on maternity."

Abi laughed at my comment and then put a kiss on my lips. "You're right. Not only bigger but stronger, too."

And this is true. Whenever Abi takes small breaks in my office from the pain either from her back or feet, I take this time to forget of all my worries and lay a hand on her belly. She always guides my hand to where she feels those light kicks that sends my heart flying.

There was one day, that she came in with a tired sigh and I smiled up at her from my desk. "Hello darling," I said as I stood up to sit by her at the small couch I have installed the other day.

"Hello, my chef," she said to me as she put a long kiss on my lips. She then leaned back on the sofa and closed her eyes. I tenderly put a strand of hair behind her ear and kissed her temple. She then did a small furrow and opened her eyes to look at her belly. She put a hand towards the top and another at the bottom side of her belly. "This young man has been a bit jumpy today. I think it was your food that got him like this."

"Mmm," I said as I put a hand on her belly. Surely enough, there he was quickly kicking and lightly jumping. He stopped to where I was touching at the middle and then he came back to me. "Then he must like my food!"

"Or," Abi said with shining eyes. "It's just ready for our next snack."

"But you just ate a while ago!"

"So?!" Abi chuckled teasingly at this and we both looked down at a particular strong kick he did under our hands. "Yeah," Abi said to her belly. "You tell him."

But despite of all of those lovely moments during work, I'm back to the usual gloominess whenever I visit my mother. She's getting weaker by the day and they've suggested a new kind of strategy that costs a lot of money left over for me.

I run a hand through my hair in exhaustion. I look down at the many papers surrounding me at my kitchen table of bills, bills, and more bills. I look at Ryan's phone number on my phone and hesitate if I should call him for extra hours of supervision. I'd do anything to just get in more hours to get more money.

I open another envelope and see that I'm late on the rent. I angrily throw all of these papers off the table and get up.

I take deep breaths. I got this. I always find a solution. I got this.