memories; yeonbin

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December 1,2021

Dear Soobin,

I've been trying to contact your phone, did you change your phone number?

Of course you did. You didn't want me to contact you at all? You dislike me that much, Soobin?

You even blocked me on all social media.

There's no way I can contact you now.

I love you Soobin.

I've decided that everytime I want to hate you for leaving me or get upset at you, I'm gonna say that 'i love you, Soobin' so it reminds me never to give up on you.

Never ever.

And remember Soobin, even if you go find someone else in your life, I Choi Yeonjun, will never do the same, because all of my heart belongs to Choi Soobin.

Even if he refuses to except my heart.

Soobin I'm really lonely without you. Beomgyu came over today. He said our house looked like a mess.

Yes, our house. Remember the times you told me that you wanted to renovate our house? Maybe if I'd let you do what you wanted, you would have stayed.

Why did you go, Soobin-ah?

Without giving me an explanation?

Giving me millions of theories to think of?

Beomgyu asked me to clean up the house. He reminded me of the times when you woke up on a Saturday and screamed at me for waking up late and then asked me to clean up the house.

I would pout and you would give in so easily, and then we'd clean up together.

What's the point of cleaning up the house if there's no Soobin?

What's the point of staying in your own house, when it doesn't feel like home?

I've realised, Soobin. The house isn't my home. You are my home. You are the one who always looked out for me.

The one who loved me unconditionally.

I one I lost my heart to.

The one I could die for.

The one I could kill for.

The one for which I could do anything.

Why did you stop loving me, Soobin?

-your Yeonjun hyung