{140} nonexistent

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Freedom

Confidence

Neither are mine. 

Trapped in a hell that's suppose to be my home.

It's an uncomfortable environment, 

the worst at it's best. 

Laughter breaks out when I think

to put on clothes, 

to look in the mirror, 

to face myself

could cause such pain. 

Who knew one could be filled with such self-hate?

In rare occasions, I love what I see

but is that truly what I believe?

Those glimpses of hope seems far and few between, 

almost nonexistent. 

Who are we if we can't even love and know ourselves?

What am I do when this body doesn't make me feel safe?


***
This poem is a combination of lines I wrote in 2018 and thoughts I have now. It reminds me of what I said last chapter that the end of this book is a bridge to the beginning. A lot of my has changed and clearly so has my writing but some parts still remain. Some demons stay the same.

~ Have you ever written on your notes app on your phone?

Isn't that a handy app?!!

Have a radiant day!

D.O. 

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