Among Friends

Chapter 21

" What is wrong with you, Keisha?" cried Ma in my ear one morning. K'Shawn and Jason had just made a most delicious breakfast and served me in bed. I laid against the pillows.
"There's nothing wrong with me, Marie..." I replied.
" Jeremiah told me what was going on in that house and it's a sin...those boys carrying on like that." Ma fussed.
" Like two people who love each other?" I asked. " Jeremiah don't have the sense to know what that is."
"Well, that's an abomination against the Lord...two men are unnatural..." Ma cried. "And going against your husband.."
I was now seeing seven devils and no Jesus in between.
"That man is not my fucking husband!" Ma went off telling me I shouldn't be cursing at her. " No, the reason why he gave me this house is so he can control me. His little girlfriend got tired of his shit. All he ever gave me was shit and heartache, Ma!" There was silence."Why can't you be proud of me?" I asked. " I got rid of him and went to nursing school. I took care of K'Shawn and he is smart and in College. Jeremiah gave me his ass to kiss. I got out of the abuse and I am happy. And you can tell your friends at The Holy Church of God. I don't need a man to validate me!" There was silence.
" I feel sorry for you..." said Ma in her pity.
" No, Bitch I feel sorry for you!" I hung up the phone.
She still didn't get it after all these years.

1981
I had to have one. Everyone had them. Rubick Cubes. They were on keychains and there was the big cubes. They were on shirts, sneakers, pants and everywhere.  I was eyeing a nice keychain in Scotty's Department store.
"Girl, I don't got that kinda money!" squealed Ma grabbing me by my shoulder.
Ma never had money to buy anything. But she always come up with money to get her new boyfriend Darby a beer or a pack of Newports.
Ma put the items on the cash register while the cashier rung them up.
"Look I need you to stay in your room tonight. I am going to threw Darby a party...." Ma replied. The Dukes of Hazzard and Dallas came on tonight. The only TV was in the Living Room. "Get you some books from the library." 
The city library was like my refuge. Away from Ma's side swipes at me, away from the bullies, away from being poor.
There was something about Barbara Cartland novels. I loved them and I made a point check out The Color Purple.
Ma's stereo played Taana Gardner's Heartbeat. I couldn't concentrate on my book because of the commotion in the house. Someone was cursing and a woman was yelling. My Ma told them that the neighbors was gonna call the police.
By all the rhetoric, Darby was drunk and mad. He was cursing out another man.
I heard a thud and screaming. I cracked my door to see the next door neighbor and Darby on the floor. Ma was screaming about tearing up her house.
There was a loud knock on the door. Someone had called the police. Darby was saying that the other man started the fight. Everyone was in disagreement.
I closed my room door and crawled on my bed.
I woke up with a start. I smelled liquor and I felt a hand touching my stomach. I was scared. I pushed him off.
It was Darby. A strange feeling of wanting my mother came over me. " Come on Baby...be good to me." He rubbed my hip. I screamed.
He bolted up. Ma opened the door.
Darby looked confused and embarrassed. "Baby, I ...thought it was you..." He stammered. Liar.
Ma didn't say anything to him. She fussed at me for not latching my door.
That wasn't the only time.
I came home from school one day. He was supposed to be at work but he wasn't. Today was the day I was to be at the house. I was usually at Grandma's. I spoke to him and went off to my room to do homework.
Afterwards trying to write a paragraph on pasteurization, I heard a tap on my door.
"Can I come in?" He asked cautiously. I nod apprehensively. A faint scent of liquor tickled my nose. He sat slowly down on my bed.
"You know, Keisha...I love your Ma. And we gonna get married one day. We gonna be family..." he said as he was reaching in his pocket. He pulled out a Rubick's Cube.
He smiled.  I reached out to touch it. It was big. And maybe Carole Jefferson would like me because I got the big one. I whispered Thank you. I was excited.
"Well, I just get a thanks." He replied. "Give me a hug.." I moved toward him. He grabbed me and with his hot stinky breath tried to kiss my lip. I pushed him and screamed no. He was Ma's ugly boyfriend.
"Get Out!" I heard Ma yell. Darby was coming up with excuses. "I was giving the girl a toy." and "She wanted to hug me but then she started acting like she don't!"
"You gonna let her come between what me and you have!" He cried. " She's a kid." Ma stood frozen angry. He took the colorful cube and walked out, turning to her. " We gonna talk!" Then he left. Then for whatever reason Ma turned on me.
"I told you to be at your Grandma's house!" She exclaimed. "Today is the day I was supposed to be here..." I answered. " Don't you back talk me. Keisha. You don't listen. You let him in your room and what I told you about wearing those little behind shorts. You running around here like the rest of these hot behind girls up in these grown men faces." She started to take clothes out of my drawers." I am not gonna let you snatch my little bit of happiness. You going to live with your grandma." She  took my suitcase, threw it on the bed, and started throwing my stuff in. I stood hurt and confused. An 11 year old girl. I never wanted to see a Rubick's Cube again.