Silent Voice - Zelkpvp Novel

Chapter 8 The Attic

zelk pov

Tomorrow is the big day! I can finally see Mega!

I spent most of my day packing.

I tried contacting Mega several times, but he never answered.

Looked like I would have to spend the night in a hotel, and visit him in the morning.//try to find him

I didn't want to go around a foreign city at night.

mega pov

I finally plugged my courage to check my phone.

14 missed calls and 9 of them from Zelk.

Was he ok?

Why did he call me so many times?

Was he worried about me, or did something happen to him?

I saw that both Zak and Bad called me too.

So many missed messages...

Everyone freaking out about me disappearing.

I didn't feel like answering them.

'I just want to suffer in peace...' I thought.

These last couple of days I've been very close to ending everything.

I was fed up with my life.

I often found myself standing in the bathroom, a knife to my throat.

But I could not do it.

I was too much of a coward.

I wanted to end it, but I just couldn't.

But I was broken.

Nothing, nothing could ever fix me.

'Just a dumb mute.'

'Useless.'

'Worthless.'

'I wish you were never born.'

'You are the problem... why don't you just kill yourself?'

Those words echoed in my head. 

I rushed to my notebook.

It was the only thing that helped me, as a distraction from my thoughts.

"I need your help, but it's like you're seeing through me,

Every day to me is gloomy."

...

I sat there in silence for a bit.

That was usual.

I listened to music 24/7.

It was rare when I didn't have my earphones with me.

"I'm trying my best to try and survive,

But I don't know how long it'll take me to revive."

I really was trying my best to survive, but it seemed like life didn't want me there.

Could I really revive though?

Was I fixable?

Or was I rotten on the inside, forever, with no hope of ever being like others?