Silent Voice - Zelkpvp Novel

Chapter 3 Mega's life

mega pov

"Depression is like being alone in a crowd,

Depression is like having a long-lasting wound."

I continued my poem.

It was my favourite so far, and I wanted it to be the best ever written poem by me.

"It's like slowly sticking a dagger into your own heart.

It's like watching your life fall slowly apart."

I mean, that was true, and it described the feeling pretty well.

I was sitting with my usual cup of black coffee leaning my head against my kitchen window, thinking how I got to this point in life.

I often wondered about that.

'When did I get so depressed?'

It all started in my childhood. I was always bullied for not talking, and my dad abused me and my mom. He beat us up, mentally abused us, threw things at us...

He told me things that I will never forget...

Now, my mother was also not the most caring in the world, and after my dad left me, she was more broken than before.

She drank and beat me up.

She didn't care about me at all.

My education.

My grades.

My interests.

Who I hung out with.

Who my friends were.

Not that I had a lot of friends anyways.

I knew Jacob, Darryl, and Zak since we were children, and they always helped me out, but I hated being weak and helpless.

I grew slightly apart from them.

I didn't tell them as much as I used to, although Jacob and I were always pretty close.

I didn't tell anyone about my self-harm problems and depression through.

I didn't think anyone would care.

Oh yeah, and that green scarf... when did I start wearing it?

I don't even remember...

I had this weird skin condition, where half my face was darker than the other.

And the scarf was to represent that I'm a mute? I didn't know, but it covered my face pretty well and hid me from most of the stares.

I did learn to speak when I was a child, but I never liked or really could use my voice, so I never really did.

I was shy and anxious, so I guess that was my excuse for not talking.

I became very nervous when someone wanted me to talk, so I only talked when I felt like it and was not being pressured.

My notebook was a big help to me, as I could just communicate through it.

Also, no one would really know how I felt then and I could escape all the questions I either didn't want to answer or I didn't know how.

The scarf covering my face also helped me lots of times.

I did talk to some of my friends sometimes... Yeah, occasionally I would...

But all that was in the past...

After I finished High School, I went to college. 

It was hard for me.

As I moved away as soon as I turned 18, I needed a place to live, which meant - getting a job was crucial.

I found a job at a café and I was already an admin on a few servers, so I was alright with money.

Also, I had my own YouTube channel (go sub to Mega!), which I got some money from.

I chose a simple, but new and pretty apartment, and moved in as quickly as was possible, as I didn't own many possessions, because my family was always poor and tight on money.

Because I moved and lived alone now, I could finally eat.

My mother wasted a lot of money drinking, so we rarely had any food at home.

I still had my old pc, but I was planning to buy a new one as soon as I could.

I loved my new life, but the scars from my past remained and haunted me at night.

Yes, the scars... both physical and mental.

I started cutting a few years ago when my life was really fucked up.

I still had the addiction - it's hard to stop, so I have been doing it for several years now.

Maybe I should tell someone... but I gave up a long time ago.

I looked at my pearly white scars and new bloody cuts lost in thought.

I was easily overwhelmed and jumpy sometimes, but mostly I was a chill person with not a care in the world, well, at least that's how others saw me.

zelk pov

Same, same, same.

Same thing every day.

I wake up, record, watch on the server, edit, have super, and go to bed.

My life was so boring.

<Word count 775>

Have a great day/night!