Silent Voice - Zelkpvp Novel

Chapter 34 Nightmares

zelk pov

Mega's birthday was slowly approaching.

But his nightmares kept repeating, already for about a week.

Mega had less and less sleep, as he was tormented by them every night.

This really concerned Jacob.

'Maybe it's the lack of fresh air?'

'Maybe be needs like... uuuhh... medication?'

I decided to go talk to Mega.

I have asked him about the dreams before, but he refused every time.

I guess he didn't want to talk about his past.

The door was closed, so I knocked and entered.

"Hey, Mega?" I started tentatively.

He turned around in his seat, a questioning look spreading across his face.

"Mega I wanted to talk about your nightmares."

He frowned, and I saw that he had been laying off this conversation.

"It's important to me, and I need to know what's going on. Every day, you cannot sleep, and it's like you want to say something, but you never do. Can you explain?"

Mega sighed.

'Alright. I guess it's the right time.'

His hands were shaking and his gaze was dropped down.

'So you know I'm a mute,' he signed after some hesitation.

I nodded, listening closely.

'I can't talk sometimes. In some situations. I cannot open my mouth and speak. No sound comes out. I can only think.

You know that.

When I was a child, no one used to listen to me. I grew up thinking and knowing that no one cared about what I thought, did...

Then something happened, and I couldn't talk anymore.

I had no voice. It was silent. Only my thoughts. They were all I had left.

I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. Honestly, it's scary. When you can't say anything and you cannot be heard.

The feeling like you don't exist strikes you down. I start questioning this world, the reality, my life. If it was all actually real. Not some stimulation, where crazy, huge people were laughing at you as they saw that I could never be heard, as an experiment, or a game. 

Your hearing gets muffled, and you feel deaf.

You cannot talk, and you cannot hear.

It's like you're out of this world.

Maybe underwater?... Or some other thick matter...

You cannot be heard by others, and you can't force yourself to speak.

It's like you have no vocal cords...

And the memories of that... where it drove me crazy... 

From my childhood... it was all a part of why I started cutting...

I wanted to be heard... by someone... somewhere...

The lack of attention, the lack of interest in me...

My inability to speak...

Drove me crazy for years now.

That's what I dream about.