True Deceit

Chapter 45: Virgil

TW:  Abuse, self harm, panic. Ps. This chapter is rather messed up, sorry in advance. 

Everyone excluding Thomas and Logan exited the living room in unison, sinking into the light side corridor with a collective sigh. Virgil pressed his back against the wall, catching his breath sickly. 

"Did you just rise up?" Janus commented with surprise. Virgil's muscles contracted, reminding himself that his Father would have beaten him with a cane only two years earlier for attempting the action. His eyes darted to the floor. For a moment he was the same, paranoid fawn he'd been only two years earlier, cowering at the snake's mercy.

"Can I have my journal back?"

"Yes, and can I request we retrieve it in together?" Janus stepped forward, extending his hand to caress his son's cheek. He brought his fingers beneath his chin, lifting his eyes to face him. "I'd like to talk to you, in private."

Virgil wanted to growl and shove his father's gloved hand aside, but it seemed his own voice had abandoned him as he tried to muster a defiant no.

Roman intervened, placing a wary hand onto the snake's shoulder. "Virgil, if you don't feel safe being alone with him, just say and I'll come with you."

Anxiety bowed his head. "No, I'll do it."

*

Janus shut his bedroom door softly behind him, turning to Virgil who's knees buckled as he spoke. "Where is it?"

Janus slowly paced across the room, reaching under his pillow before emerging the stolen item. "I read the first few pages, but once you began describing the abuse I inflicted I could no longer stomach it." At the mention of stomach his hunger flailed, his rib cages squeezing in pain. "I also turned to a random page in the middle, where you wrote about being afraid to call Patton 'Dad' because he might try and hurt you." The anxious side turned burning red, snatching the book from his hand.

"This is private! Did you read anything else?!"

Janus let out an honest sigh. "No. I'm sorry, son. Not just about reading it, but what I read as well. I was unaware of the phycological harm I was impairing on you. Can you forgive me?"

Virgil felt as though a sheet of plastic wrap was suffocating his lungs, restricting his breathing as a wave of panic sweep through his body. Deceit grabbed his sons arms, half expecting him to collapse.

Virgil yelped. "No, please don't hurt me!" Memories flashed before his eyes as he whimpered, his Father throwing him against the ground and pressing his foot against his ribs. His evil hiss, his own frightened screams-

"Virgil!" Deceit's pupils dilated as he scooped the shivering boy in his arms, pressing him against his body as he shrunk to the ground. "Virgil, you're safe..."

Anxiety dissolved into tears, gasping raggedly for air. "No, let me go, I'm scared!" He let out a scream, kicking with terror.

"Please, I'm not going to hurt you," Janus whispered strongly, withholding a frightened hiss. He trembled as he removed his yellow gloves, stroking his son's hair with water prickling his mismatched eyes. Virgil choked as he registered the unusual feel of his hands, stripped of their coverings.

His mind faded, soaking into an uncontrollable flash back of attempting to rise up without his Father's consent. Attempted, not succeeded, as he had been dragged half into limbo, tossed about like a salad before being thrusted full force against his bedroom floor. He remembered the occasion vividly, vomiting whilst Deceit massaged his waist as he hung limply over the toilet bowl, whispering instructions and calming phrases. "There you go, get it all out, deep breaths. Are you feeling better now?" 13 year old Virgil had nodded his head, sobbing weakly. Deceit continued, "I love you, I'm so glad your okay. Your punishment will be ten strikes with a cane, and if you repeat the action again the consequence will be more painful than you can imagine, is that understood?" Virgil nodded again, mustering sorrowfully. "Yes Father."

"Shh, your okay," Janus murmured, drawing Virgil into the present. "I'm never going to hurt you again, that's a promise."

Virgil quavered. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to freak out."

"You don't have to aplogise, I'm the one who should be most sorry." He released his son from his grasp, allowing him to crawl to his feet. "I need to ask you something, and I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable. Have you been doing any sort of... self harming?"

Virgil jolted with a start. "You... you lier! You did read more of this journal, didn't you?!"

Janus raised his palms, doing his best to remain calm. "No, I swear I didn't, I only know because Roman told me."

"Roman?" He questioned, lowering his tone. "What, when?"

"Just before the hearing. He essentially told me off for causing your panic attacks and self harming. Virgil, I'm scared, how badly have you been hurting yourself?"

"I, I don't do it anymore, I stopped at least a year ago." Virgil informed, a spark of warmth in his chest. His Father really did care about him. "I... I used to cut myself, and I also purged." He hesitantly scrolled up his left sleeve, revealing a collection of faint scars trailing up his arms.

Janus held his wrists, observing his forearms. "I'm so sorry, I really am." 

Hello readers! I hope that if you celebrated Christmas, it was merry and full of light :) It's almost New Years too, so yay! Also, I have started a new fan fiction (Harry Potter) so please consider checking that out. :) bye!