True Deceit

Chapter 62: Janus

TW- Bad language, panic, stupidity at its finest

"What have you done to him?!" Roman roared, sweat dripping down his forehead. 

"What was necessary," Forgiveness hollered in response. "We cant have his silver tongue leading us astray, so I cursed him with inescapable honesty." 

The snake lay sprawled across the attic floor, stunned by the spirit's brutal cast. A golden bolt had stabbed through his cloaked chest, soaking into his flesh. After a dozen seconds he slowly began to stir, his eyes the shade of ash as his skin pale as a sheet. "W-what's going on?"

Logan was first by his side. "Janus, how many fingers am I holding up?" 

"I don't care, where am I? The attic? No..." He met the spirit's smug gaze, his blood boiling with hatred and fear. "What did you just do to me?"

The spirit merely laughed, waving his hand scornfully. "I've caged your deceitful talent to ensure you don't betray our honest values." 

Janus whimpered vulnerably. "You can't just imprison and fuck around with someone because it benefit's you! -oh wait FUCK! I'm so sorry Logan!" He began chocking between gulps of air, his ears flushed scarlet. "You don't understand how bad I feel about what I did to you, I just, I can't admit it, I'm... to scared and stupid; I don't know how to..." He slapped a firm hand over his mouth, weeping as he pressed his knees to his chest.

"Janus, Janus. Look at me." Logan requested seriously, snapping his fingers to grasp his attention. "Deep breaths, I'm not upset with you anymore. I understand it was all a mistake."

Janus shook his head fiercely, clenching his fists with a pained breath. "You know what Logan? I fucking hate you! We are both smart, and resourceful, and knowledgeable, yet I've been cursed with lying, evil and impulse, why are you so lucky, why do you get to be a light side? I would give ANYTHING to be like you!.... Did you know that? I'm terrified of you. Do you get it?" 

Logan's heart thudded in his chest, and if for a moment, the world silenced. "Terrified? But why?" Logan whispered hoarsely, tears trickling down his cheeks. 

Janus shook his head vaguely. "My view of the world is so distorted, every thought I have is false... I don't know what's real, or not real, so I make up things, I trick myself... Roman?" He turned his head to the startled prince, sobbing weakly. "You wouldn't hurt me, would you? I just made that up, right?" 

"I would never." Roman murmured faintly. 

The spirit of good cleared his throat, meeting the snake's gaze with remorseful eyes. "Logan just forgave you for something you did to him in the past... do you believe him?"

Janus froze for a moment, exhaling sorrowfully. "I, I don't know? I want to, I'm just bad at trusting people..." 

"You lack forgiveness," The spirit sighed. "Both accepting it, and feeling it for yourself. We all need to pardon ourselves from mistakes, in order to move forward."

"But that would make me a bad person," Deceit hissed. "If I didn't feel guilty, if I don't starve or hurt myself, than what would be left of me? Just evil, and I don't want that." 

The spirit smiled a fraction, inching towards him and extending his hand. "That's why we need balance, like the old prophecy states.  Good and evil, Vengeance and Forgiveness, Deceit and Honesty, Logic and Irrational thinking, Hope and Anxiety. I'm sorry for casting that spell on you, that was poor judgement. Do you forgive me?" 

"I... I'll try," Janus whispered, Cautiously shaking his golden hand.